HigherEd_ITGuy
@highereditguy.bsky.social
Tales from the world of a higher education IT veteran.
This is so wrong.
*Funny*, but wrong.
And if you don't get this, I'm not sure that we can be friends.
*Funny*, but wrong.
And if you don't get this, I'm not sure that we can be friends.
August 25, 2025 at 4:28 PM
This is so wrong.
*Funny*, but wrong.
And if you don't get this, I'm not sure that we can be friends.
*Funny*, but wrong.
And if you don't get this, I'm not sure that we can be friends.
Budget Director: We cannot purchase the external hard drive you asked for. Your request form from July 1st said the price was $119.99 and the actual price today is $121.99. Please submit a new request form with the correct price.
Actual Me:
Actual Me:
a bald man with a mustache wearing a suit and tie is making a funny face .
ALT: a bald man with a mustache wearing a suit and tie is making a funny face .
media.tenor.com
July 16, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Budget Director: We cannot purchase the external hard drive you asked for. Your request form from July 1st said the price was $119.99 and the actual price today is $121.99. Please submit a new request form with the correct price.
Actual Me:
Actual Me:
We posted a position last Sept. I purchased new equipment in Oct. They finally hired someone, who starts on Monday.
Business Manager today: OMG, what are we going to do about a computer? Can you get one ordered ASAP?
Me: Uh, it's been here and set up since Nov.
Also me:
Business Manager today: OMG, what are we going to do about a computer? Can you get one ordered ASAP?
Me: Uh, it's been here and set up since Nov.
Also me:
a man with a beard and a chain around his neck says " are you serious "
ALT: a man with a beard and a chain around his neck says " are you serious "
media.tenor.com
July 2, 2025 at 4:57 PM
We posted a position last Sept. I purchased new equipment in Oct. They finally hired someone, who starts on Monday.
Business Manager today: OMG, what are we going to do about a computer? Can you get one ordered ASAP?
Me: Uh, it's been here and set up since Nov.
Also me:
Business Manager today: OMG, what are we going to do about a computer? Can you get one ordered ASAP?
Me: Uh, it's been here and set up since Nov.
Also me:
There may, or may not, be some truth to this video:
A Day in the Life of an IT Tech
(be sure to unmute quickly):
www.instagram.com/reel/DLDQx-v...
A Day in the Life of an IT Tech
(be sure to unmute quickly):
www.instagram.com/reel/DLDQx-v...
Login • Instagram
Welcome back to Instagram. Sign in to check out what your friends, family & interests have been capturing & sharing around the world.
www.instagram.com
June 20, 2025 at 5:35 PM
There may, or may not, be some truth to this video:
A Day in the Life of an IT Tech
(be sure to unmute quickly):
www.instagram.com/reel/DLDQx-v...
A Day in the Life of an IT Tech
(be sure to unmute quickly):
www.instagram.com/reel/DLDQx-v...
From the "You can't make this stuff up" file.
AssProf email: This box quit working. It won't charge my laptop or display anything on the monitors. Can you order a new one ASAP?
Me: No, the power cord just isn't plugged in. I can see it is about to fall off the back of your desk.
AssProf email: This box quit working. It won't charge my laptop or display anything on the monitors. Can you order a new one ASAP?
Me: No, the power cord just isn't plugged in. I can see it is about to fall off the back of your desk.
June 3, 2025 at 9:13 PM
From the "You can't make this stuff up" file.
AssProf email: This box quit working. It won't charge my laptop or display anything on the monitors. Can you order a new one ASAP?
Me: No, the power cord just isn't plugged in. I can see it is about to fall off the back of your desk.
AssProf email: This box quit working. It won't charge my laptop or display anything on the monitors. Can you order a new one ASAP?
Me: No, the power cord just isn't plugged in. I can see it is about to fall off the back of your desk.
I can't make this stuff up.
Dean's AdminAss: I can't log into the PC in the conference room.
"What's it doing?"
AA: Nothing. I can't log in.
"After you type your ID and password, what happens?"
AA: I can't type anything.
"I'm confused."
AA: There's no keyboard.
Literal me:
Dean's AdminAss: I can't log into the PC in the conference room.
"What's it doing?"
AA: Nothing. I can't log in.
"After you type your ID and password, what happens?"
AA: I can't type anything.
"I'm confused."
AA: There's no keyboard.
Literal me:
a close up of a man 's face with the words wow i think you should lead with that next time below it
ALT: a close up of a man 's face with the words wow i think you should lead with that next time below it
media.tenor.com
May 28, 2025 at 12:04 PM
I can't make this stuff up.
Dean's AdminAss: I can't log into the PC in the conference room.
"What's it doing?"
AA: Nothing. I can't log in.
"After you type your ID and password, what happens?"
AA: I can't type anything.
"I'm confused."
AA: There's no keyboard.
Literal me:
Dean's AdminAss: I can't log into the PC in the conference room.
"What's it doing?"
AA: Nothing. I can't log in.
"After you type your ID and password, what happens?"
AA: I can't type anything.
"I'm confused."
AA: There's no keyboard.
Literal me:
Email sent from Ass Dean's univ email: There are many scams going around & I want you to know that I will *NEVER* use a random account to send email, only the official univ email address
Also Ass Dean: Why didn't you respond to the email that I sent from one of my 4 personal email accounts?
Also Ass Dean: Why didn't you respond to the email that I sent from one of my 4 personal email accounts?
a man in a red plaid shirt says why are you ignoring me
ALT: a man in a red plaid shirt says why are you ignoring me
media.tenor.com
May 20, 2025 at 2:44 AM
Email sent from Ass Dean's univ email: There are many scams going around & I want you to know that I will *NEVER* use a random account to send email, only the official univ email address
Also Ass Dean: Why didn't you respond to the email that I sent from one of my 4 personal email accounts?
Also Ass Dean: Why didn't you respond to the email that I sent from one of my 4 personal email accounts?
Call from Ass Dean: My mouse isn't working. I need you to come fix it right now!
<I go to the office & take a look>
Me: Wait. This keyboard and mouse combo are 2 different brands. Where's the Microsoft mouse that goes with the keyboard?
AD: Oops. At home. Also:
<I go to the office & take a look>
Me: Wait. This keyboard and mouse combo are 2 different brands. Where's the Microsoft mouse that goes with the keyboard?
AD: Oops. At home. Also:
an advertisement for netflix shows a girl talking to a man and woman
ALT: an advertisement for netflix shows a girl talking to a man and woman
media.tenor.com
April 30, 2025 at 9:25 PM
Call from Ass Dean: My mouse isn't working. I need you to come fix it right now!
<I go to the office & take a look>
Me: Wait. This keyboard and mouse combo are 2 different brands. Where's the Microsoft mouse that goes with the keyboard?
AD: Oops. At home. Also:
<I go to the office & take a look>
Me: Wait. This keyboard and mouse combo are 2 different brands. Where's the Microsoft mouse that goes with the keyboard?
AD: Oops. At home. Also:
Me trying to keep up all of my users' systems "compliant" with all of the changes Central IT is making in the name of "improving security":
a cat is playing with a toy on top of a table .
ALT: a cat is playing with a toy on top of a table .
media.tenor.com
April 21, 2025 at 3:02 PM
Me trying to keep up all of my users' systems "compliant" with all of the changes Central IT is making in the name of "improving security":
AssProf: Before I retire next month, I want to back up all my files. What special equipment do I need?
"Just get an external hard drive. Plug it in and copy your files and folders over to it."
AP: Oh. Can you help me do that?
What I said out loud: "Help you copy files?"
What my face said:
"Just get an external hard drive. Plug it in and copy your files and folders over to it."
AP: Oh. Can you help me do that?
What I said out loud: "Help you copy files?"
What my face said:
a man wearing a black headband is sitting at a desk with the hashtag #chicagofire
ALT: a man wearing a black headband is sitting at a desk with the hashtag #chicagofire
media.tenor.com
April 14, 2025 at 5:15 PM
AssProf: Before I retire next month, I want to back up all my files. What special equipment do I need?
"Just get an external hard drive. Plug it in and copy your files and folders over to it."
AP: Oh. Can you help me do that?
What I said out loud: "Help you copy files?"
What my face said:
"Just get an external hard drive. Plug it in and copy your files and folders over to it."
AP: Oh. Can you help me do that?
What I said out loud: "Help you copy files?"
What my face said:
Me watching my 401K and retirement accounts over the last 6-8 weeks.
a man with a neck brace is talking into a microphone and says i 'm not great
ALT: a man with a neck brace is talking into a microphone and says i 'm not great
media.tenor.com
April 11, 2025 at 1:54 PM
Me watching my 401K and retirement accounts over the last 6-8 weeks.
AssProf: I can't get anything to come up on my monitors. Moving the mouse and pressing keys on the keyboard don't do anything. Can you come look at what's going on?
<I go to the office> Uh, where is your laptop? It should be connected to the dock.
AP has wide-eyed look and then:
<I go to the office> Uh, where is your laptop? It should be connected to the dock.
AP has wide-eyed look and then:
a woman says i knew i was forgetting something in front of a window .
ALT: a woman says i knew i was forgetting something in front of a window .
media.tenor.com
April 8, 2025 at 3:05 PM
AssProf: I can't get anything to come up on my monitors. Moving the mouse and pressing keys on the keyboard don't do anything. Can you come look at what's going on?
<I go to the office> Uh, where is your laptop? It should be connected to the dock.
AP has wide-eyed look and then:
<I go to the office> Uh, where is your laptop? It should be connected to the dock.
AP has wide-eyed look and then:
If you're trying to track down the Ass Dean this time of year, you can usually find them on the quad in the late afternoon "accidentally" photo-bombing the pictures this spring's graduates are taking for their graduation announcements.
a woman holding a graduation cap looks at her phone
ALT: a woman holding a graduation cap looks at her phone
media.tenor.com
March 24, 2025 at 8:30 PM
If you're trying to track down the Ass Dean this time of year, you can usually find them on the quad in the late afternoon "accidentally" photo-bombing the pictures this spring's graduates are taking for their graduation announcements.
It's annual performance evaluation time again, and
the Dean & Ass Dean say that we have to list our goals for the next year. So, this year mine will be:
1. Don't get fired
2. Win the lottery
3. Quit
the Dean & Ass Dean say that we have to list our goals for the next year. So, this year mine will be:
1. Don't get fired
2. Win the lottery
3. Quit
March 12, 2025 at 11:55 PM
It's annual performance evaluation time again, and
the Dean & Ass Dean say that we have to list our goals for the next year. So, this year mine will be:
1. Don't get fired
2. Win the lottery
3. Quit
the Dean & Ass Dean say that we have to list our goals for the next year. So, this year mine will be:
1. Don't get fired
2. Win the lottery
3. Quit
We're replacing your department's network printer. It will require new software & it uses a different IP address. You must be in the building when it's replaced so that I can connect you to it, however I can't tell you when that's going to happen per the Ass Dean.
a man in a suit and tie is sitting in the back seat of a car smiling .
ALT: a man in a suit and tie is sitting in the back seat of a car smiling .
media.tenor.com
March 12, 2025 at 1:01 AM
We're replacing your department's network printer. It will require new software & it uses a different IP address. You must be in the building when it's replaced so that I can connect you to it, however I can't tell you when that's going to happen per the Ass Dean.
AssDean sends email announcing the launch of a new thing called "abc".
Me: We've actually had a thing called "abc" for about 15 years now. Maybe you should call your new thing "xyz" to avoid confusion?
AD: It'll be OK - there won't any be confusion.
<mass confusion breaks out>
Me:
Me: We've actually had a thing called "abc" for about 15 years now. Maybe you should call your new thing "xyz" to avoid confusion?
AD: It'll be OK - there won't any be confusion.
<mass confusion breaks out>
Me:
a man says " you know somehow i told you so just doesn t quite say it "
ALT: a man says " you know somehow i told you so just doesn t quite say it "
media.tenor.com
March 10, 2025 at 4:39 PM
AssDean sends email announcing the launch of a new thing called "abc".
Me: We've actually had a thing called "abc" for about 15 years now. Maybe you should call your new thing "xyz" to avoid confusion?
AD: It'll be OK - there won't any be confusion.
<mass confusion breaks out>
Me:
Me: We've actually had a thing called "abc" for about 15 years now. Maybe you should call your new thing "xyz" to avoid confusion?
AD: It'll be OK - there won't any be confusion.
<mass confusion breaks out>
Me:
He-who-shall-not-be-named broke X/Twitter:
March 10, 2025 at 4:25 PM
He-who-shall-not-be-named broke X/Twitter:
Central IT: On June 30, we will be shutting down all uni Google accounts and we'll be consolidating to the Microsoft platform for everything.
Everyone: But MS doesn't have the same features or functionality as Google!
Central IT:
Everyone: But MS doesn't have the same features or functionality as Google!
Central IT:
a netflix ad shows two older men talking and one says it 'll be fine
ALT: a netflix ad shows two older men talking and one says it 'll be fine
media.tenor.com
March 4, 2025 at 4:50 PM
Central IT: On June 30, we will be shutting down all uni Google accounts and we'll be consolidating to the Microsoft platform for everything.
Everyone: But MS doesn't have the same features or functionality as Google!
Central IT:
Everyone: But MS doesn't have the same features or functionality as Google!
Central IT:
Real convo with AssDean:
AD: How do I get my laptop connected to the large TV in the conference room?
Me: Connect the HDMI cable to your laptop and use the TV remote to change the input from HDMI1 to HDMI2
Actual response from AD:
AD: How do I get my laptop connected to the large TV in the conference room?
Me: Connect the HDMI cable to your laptop and use the TV remote to change the input from HDMI1 to HDMI2
Actual response from AD:
a woman in a blue jacket says " english please " in white letters
ALT: a woman in a blue jacket says " english please " in white letters
media.tenor.com
February 20, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Real convo with AssDean:
AD: How do I get my laptop connected to the large TV in the conference room?
Me: Connect the HDMI cable to your laptop and use the TV remote to change the input from HDMI1 to HDMI2
Actual response from AD:
AD: How do I get my laptop connected to the large TV in the conference room?
Me: Connect the HDMI cable to your laptop and use the TV remote to change the input from HDMI1 to HDMI2
Actual response from AD:
AssProf yesterday: Can I come see you in your office at 1pm tomorrow to show you a problem with my laptop?
"Sure, that's fine"
Me at 3:30pm:
"Sure, that's fine"
Me at 3:30pm:
a man in a suit and tie is standing in a field of flowers .
ALT: a man in a suit and tie is standing in a field of flowers .
media.tenor.com
February 13, 2025 at 8:30 PM
AssProf yesterday: Can I come see you in your office at 1pm tomorrow to show you a problem with my laptop?
"Sure, that's fine"
Me at 3:30pm:
"Sure, that's fine"
Me at 3:30pm:
AssProf 2 months ago: I need a laptop for a grant I just got.
"OK, here's the price"
AP: OK, I'll get back to you with the acct # by the end of the week.
3 weeks later: "I still need that acct #"
AP: I'll get it to you soon
<crickets since then>
AP today: Is that laptop here?
Me:
"OK, here's the price"
AP: OK, I'll get back to you with the acct # by the end of the week.
3 weeks later: "I still need that acct #"
AP: I'll get it to you soon
<crickets since then>
AP today: Is that laptop here?
Me:
a man in a kitchen with the words you got jokes huh
ALT: a man in a kitchen with the words you got jokes huh
media.tenor.com
February 10, 2025 at 3:26 PM
AssProf 2 months ago: I need a laptop for a grant I just got.
"OK, here's the price"
AP: OK, I'll get back to you with the acct # by the end of the week.
3 weeks later: "I still need that acct #"
AP: I'll get it to you soon
<crickets since then>
AP today: Is that laptop here?
Me:
"OK, here's the price"
AP: OK, I'll get back to you with the acct # by the end of the week.
3 weeks later: "I still need that acct #"
AP: I'll get it to you soon
<crickets since then>
AP today: Is that laptop here?
Me:
Endowed Prof: My research lab moved and now the computers won't turn on. Can you fix them?
Me 5 seconds in the lab: Well, you plugged all of the power cables into a surge protector, but didn't plug the surge protector into the electrical outlet.
EP:
Me 5 seconds in the lab: Well, you plugged all of the power cables into a surge protector, but didn't plug the surge protector into the electrical outlet.
EP:
February 7, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Endowed Prof: My research lab moved and now the computers won't turn on. Can you fix them?
Me 5 seconds in the lab: Well, you plugged all of the power cables into a surge protector, but didn't plug the surge protector into the electrical outlet.
EP:
Me 5 seconds in the lab: Well, you plugged all of the power cables into a surge protector, but didn't plug the surge protector into the electrical outlet.
EP:
Asked Admin Ass to order some keyboards, mice, and webcams for a remote office - and to send them directly to the remote office. Why then did the delivery just arrive at *my* office?!
Literal me:
Literal me:
mr bean is wearing a suit and tie and is making a funny face .
ALT: mr bean is wearing a suit and tie and is making a funny face .
media.tenor.com
December 13, 2024 at 9:13 PM
Asked Admin Ass to order some keyboards, mice, and webcams for a remote office - and to send them directly to the remote office. Why then did the delivery just arrive at *my* office?!
Literal me:
Literal me:
PSA - If you see "Invalid handle" by your name, follow the instructions below to fix it.
One part of our upgraded infrastructure may affect your profile.
If you see your handle now says “Invalid handle,” please reverify it by navigating to Settings > Change my handle > Type in your current handle > Verify DNS Record > Update.
(Basically, update to the same handle.)
If you see your handle now says “Invalid handle,” please reverify it by navigating to Settings > Change my handle > Type in your current handle > Verify DNS Record > Update.
(Basically, update to the same handle.)
November 19, 2024 at 9:27 PM
PSA - If you see "Invalid handle" by your name, follow the instructions below to fix it.
AssProf: The clicker (thing that advances PPT slides) isn't working. Do you have more batteries?
"I have to ask: is turned on?"
AP: Yes. See-the pointer works.
<takes clicker & looks it over>
"Did you put this (USB receiver) in the laptop?"
AP: Wait. What?
Also AP:
"I have to ask: is turned on?"
AP: Yes. See-the pointer works.
<takes clicker & looks it over>
"Did you put this (USB receiver) in the laptop?"
AP: Wait. What?
Also AP:
a woman says " why does everything have to be so complicated " on netflix
ALT: a woman says " why does everything have to be so complicated " on netflix
media.tenor.com
November 19, 2024 at 9:27 PM
AssProf: The clicker (thing that advances PPT slides) isn't working. Do you have more batteries?
"I have to ask: is turned on?"
AP: Yes. See-the pointer works.
<takes clicker & looks it over>
"Did you put this (USB receiver) in the laptop?"
AP: Wait. What?
Also AP:
"I have to ask: is turned on?"
AP: Yes. See-the pointer works.
<takes clicker & looks it over>
"Did you put this (USB receiver) in the laptop?"
AP: Wait. What?
Also AP: