Heretic Legionnaire
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hennessyheretic.bsky.social
Heretic Legionnaire
@hennessyheretic.bsky.social
Fightin' the God Tyrant in the XX Legion since 1099 #trenchlife #trenchcrusade
Pinned
Fun fact: that canister on my belt has nitrous in it
Just jacked some dipshit pilgrim's pointy dildo hat. I'm gonna take a huuuuuuuge steaming dump in it
April 13, 2025 at 12:42 AM
Just tried charging into a broken up building where a bunch of sultanate assholes were holding up when ALL OF A FUCKING SUDDEN their line of siege jezzails open up and I see five guys turned into a fine red mist in front of me. Just what the fuck
April 8, 2025 at 9:33 PM
Fun fact: we get paid like shit for this gig
April 8, 2025 at 9:21 PM
🎵I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes I saw the sign🎵
March 29, 2025 at 11:49 PM
Bro are you shitting me what the fuck is that
March 27, 2025 at 9:25 PM
Really not fair that all these iron wall guys have thee most immaculate drip and my fit makes me look like I missed two rounds of dialysis
March 26, 2025 at 3:38 AM
Just found out about witch burners man that shit's messed up someone should do something about that
March 26, 2025 at 3:36 AM
I'm on a sea monster diet. I sea a monster, and I eat it
March 22, 2025 at 4:03 AM
Putting superglue on my buddy's grenade handle prank GONE WRONG
March 22, 2025 at 2:19 AM
[*hits blunt*]

"Okay, guys, hear me out, what if we made a giant ship, but like, get this, it can go on land, too?"

[*passes out, smashing head against corner of table*]
++ THE MOVING FORTRESS
OF BRITANNIA ++

“They say Britannia no longer rules the waves. This is indeed correct. For wherever it goes, the Moving Fortress rules the land, sea and the sky all at once.”
#trenchcrusade #wargaming
March 21, 2025 at 4:51 PM
Handed this thing a copy of The Very Hungry Caterpillar and he has become an absolute delight I love him so much
He so uh yeah quick question what the fuck is that thing? Why the fuck is it staring at me?
March 21, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Hyping myself up for this raid by shooting everclear and swallowing handfuls of over the counter boner pills I bought from the cornershop
March 16, 2025 at 10:50 PM
He so uh yeah quick question what the fuck is that thing? Why the fuck is it staring at me?
March 13, 2025 at 4:20 PM
Blasting Britney Spears in my airpods while we crucify this pilgrim to really get hyped up
March 13, 2025 at 4:13 PM
Fun fact: that canister on my belt has nitrous in it
March 12, 2025 at 6:36 AM
First the chorister, now this fucking banshee in no man's land won't shut the fuck up like BITCH I'M TRYING TO READ STEPHEN KING HERE
March 12, 2025 at 6:27 AM
Those Prussians running up screaming in German chucking grenades...they should be a lot scarier than they are. I think it's the nipple helmets, kinda undercuts the gravity of the situation, y'know?
March 12, 2025 at 6:25 AM
Don't talk shit about my boy Cain he's the OG nobody did it like him
Cain is the worlds first nepobaby. Dude was not even impressive enough to be "Best killer ever". didnt even work for it
March 12, 2025 at 6:21 AM
The reason I sided with hell is because God made me lactose intolerant, so I blow up the latrine every time I eat froyo. Such a crime against me, personally, cannot go unanswered, so now I take it out on his followers
March 10, 2025 at 2:17 AM
After all this great war shit is over I'm gonna write a memoir that gets assigned in middle schools and gets an HBO miniseries based on it. We'll get Rami Malek to play me, but like we'll make him keep the cajun accent from The Pacific for shits and giggles
March 9, 2025 at 7:21 AM
My evil deed for the day: on that last raid we took a new antioch guy prisoner. He was shitting his pants thinking he was about to be tortured and sacrificed or some shit. I bummed a smoke off him and let him go. Nobody will ever believe him for the rest of his life
March 9, 2025 at 7:06 AM
Spent the afternoon snorting coke off the duckboards and chucking rocks at trench ghosts. Life is good
March 9, 2025 at 12:46 AM
Hungover and hunkered down while we get hit with a walking bombardment fml
March 8, 2025 at 4:06 PM
Bro this liquor I got from that court sorceror is fucking me up what did that freak put in this shit?
March 8, 2025 at 7:18 AM
One of the black grail guys came by our dugout to proselytize so we shot over his head a couple times with a shotgun to get him out of our trench. But one of his gross mangy dogs pissed on our howitzer and it grew a tumor. I fucking hate missionaries
March 8, 2025 at 12:01 AM