Hef
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hefbot.bsky.social
Hef
@hefbot.bsky.social
19 followers 31 following 310 posts
Not a bot, not yet a real person. Some kind of meat-based substitute.
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hefbot.bsky.social
Hey Cat #18
Cat and Bird ponder death.
Bird: Hey Cat, what happens when you die? Cat: I will probably just lay there and stop talking. Bird: That sounds horrible!
June 10, 2025 at 12:05 PM
hefbot.bsky.social
Hey Cat #17
In this episode Cat and Bird use unconventional pronouns.
Bird: Hey Cat, how do you know if ey loves you so? Cat: Usually ey howls and hisses at you a lot! Bird: Thanks Cat. Bird: I guess ey's just not that interested in me...
April 16, 2025 at 12:22 PM
hefbot.bsky.social
Hey Cat #16
Cat is manifesting my own fear of flying.
Bird: Hey Cat, have you ever been overseas? Cat: No, it's too far and I'm not a strong swimmer. Bird: Why would you need to swim, can't you just fly? Cat: No, I can't. Bird: Oh. Poor Cat!
March 30, 2025 at 11:29 AM
hefbot.bsky.social
Hey Cat #15
Me too, Cat. Me too.
Bird: Hey Cat, do you like to dance? Cat: I'm not very good at dancing. Bird: Why is that? Cat: I have two left feet.
February 23, 2025 at 1:41 AM
hefbot.bsky.social
Hey Cat #14
Can't relate.
Bird: Hey Cat, what did you have for breakfast? Cat: Cat food, you? Bird: Bird food.
February 16, 2025 at 11:04 AM
hefbot.bsky.social
Hey Cat #13
This one is based on a true story.
Bird: Hey Cat, I'm bored entertain me! Cat: I could sing a cat song! Cat is howling loudly. Bird is nowhere to be seen.
February 7, 2025 at 10:06 PM
hefbot.bsky.social
Hey Cat #12
Forsooth!
Bird: Hey Cat, I've been wondering; to be or not to be? Whether 'tis Nobler in the mind to suffer The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune. Or to take Arms against a Sea of troubles, And by opposing end them? Cat: Probably not. It sounds like a lot of hard work.
January 19, 2025 at 10:29 PM
hefbot.bsky.social
Cat and Bird up to their regular hijinks.
Bird standing on the back of Cat's head: Hey Cat, guess who! Cat: Susan? Bird, in front of Cat: I cannot stand Susan! Cat: I know!
January 12, 2025 at 6:52 AM
hefbot.bsky.social
Hey Cat #10
If you can't help someone then empathy is just as good.
Bird: Hey Cat, I like your hat today! Cat: Thanks! I've been trying to take it off for hours... Bird: No opposable thumbs? Cat: No opposable thumbs. Bird: Yeah me either.
January 6, 2025 at 10:18 AM
hefbot.bsky.social
Hey Cat #9
Bird, have you been looking through my family recipes again?
Bird: Hey Cat, I baked you this cake. Cat: It tastes like mud and bird seed. Bird: You're welcome!
December 22, 2024 at 11:15 PM
hefbot.bsky.social
Hey Cat #8
If only there were another way!
Bird: Hey Cat, I invented a time machine. Cat: What's it do? Bird: It tells me if it's day time or night time! Cat: So what time is it now? Bird: Dunno, I left my time machine at home.
December 15, 2024 at 9:14 PM
hefbot.bsky.social
Hey Cat #7
Normally it's cats known for their curiosity...
Bird: Hey Cat, I started a fire just to see what would happen. Cat: So what happened? Bird: My nest burnt down. Cat: Neat!
December 7, 2024 at 10:43 PM
hefbot.bsky.social
Bluesky to rhyme with brewski.
December 5, 2024 at 8:42 PM
hefbot.bsky.social
Hey Cat #6
Usually I'm a cat, too.
Bird: Hey Cat, I had a strange dream last night, and you were there! Cat: Pretty sure I was here last night. Bird: Yeah that makes sense, you aren't usually a cactus. Cat: Usually I'm a Cat.
December 1, 2024 at 4:11 AM
hefbot.bsky.social
I think we've all had a dream like that, Bird.
In inverted colours, bird is talking to a cactus: Hey Cat, do you... Oh, sorry. I thought you were my friend, Cat. Still inverted, the cactus turns into Cat. Cat: I am Cat, though? Are you done baking a cake for Susan? Bird, normal colours: Aaaah! Oh... It was just a bad dream. I can't stand Susan!
November 24, 2024 at 8:53 PM
hefbot.bsky.social
One day I will be as wise as Cat.
EXT Snowing, Cat and Bird are talking. Bird: Hey Cat, where does snow come from? Cat: I think it's an export from Japan Bird: Hey yeah, I think I read that ages ago! You're so smart. Cat: Thanks
November 16, 2024 at 4:08 AM
hefbot.bsky.social
Cat I don't think that's what bird meant... you know what, you're probably right.
Bird: Hey Cat, what do you think it's like to have elbows? Cat: They probably taste like chicken. Bird: Probably... Everything tastes like chicken.
November 9, 2024 at 10:02 PM
hefbot.bsky.social
To ponder your place in the universe is a human curse. Cat and Bird have got things figured out.
Hey Cat #2: Bird: Hey Cat, do you ever wonder what the point of life is? Cat: Not really, no. Bird: Yeah, me either. Chirp!
November 1, 2024 at 10:32 PM
hefbot.bsky.social
Gonna start posting a Hey Cat once a week for a while. See if anyone likes these silly things I made years ago.
October 24, 2024 at 6:55 AM
hefbot.bsky.social
When someone unfollows...
August 18, 2024 at 4:38 AM
hefbot.bsky.social
Me and all the people who actually read my skeets
August 16, 2024 at 4:48 AM
hefbot.bsky.social
It's a strange world when it's cheaper to buy a 19L stock pot to store a 6 month supply of cat food than it is to buy a wicker basket for the same ends. Puss was happy with it though.
July 16, 2024 at 4:29 AM
hefbot.bsky.social
There are so many new accounts rushing to bsky. They all have the same fingerprint of begging for follows, posting folk who look like they just appeared out of a kpop video and their profiles have nonsense poetry where information should be.
Are they bots come to take our skeets, or something else?
June 11, 2024 at 12:48 PM
hefbot.bsky.social
I always feel bad for not posting stuff. But then I doomscroll for like 15 minutes and realise that posting is just to vent out the brain worms and mental illness, and I'm all out of both... 🤷
May 18, 2024 at 1:07 AM