artemis
@headbandsandhexes.bsky.social
the singular brain cell. | #mvrp | 18+ | mature themes.
@delasi.bsky.social wanna go for a walk?
November 12, 2025 at 11:16 PM
@delasi.bsky.social wanna go for a walk?
gross, right?
imagine me having kids 🤢🤢🤢
November 12, 2025 at 11:16 PM
gross, right?
are you going to fart out there too?
Maybe we should take a walk? Outside?
why do i smell GAS?
November 3, 2025 at 2:01 AM
are you going to fart out there too?
gross. also, not what i'm talking about!
dude it's not me i'm fart-free since they got me on this new dog chew shit.
why do i smell GAS?
November 3, 2025 at 1:47 AM
gross. also, not what i'm talking about!
why do i smell GAS?
November 3, 2025 at 1:41 AM
why do i smell GAS?
i look ridiculous!
October 27, 2025 at 10:27 PM
i look ridiculous!
you must have something non-alcoholic. pass me a can.
that was then, this is now!!
okay, when we get to this guy's place, del can grab the feet, lalo can grab the hands, and we'll stuff him in the trunk and . . .
oh my crukking god, are you two drinking?! del! i thought you were READING.
oh my crukking god, are you two drinking?! del! i thought you were READING.
October 19, 2025 at 5:26 PM
you must have something non-alcoholic. pass me a can.
okay, when we get to this guy's place, del can grab the feet, lalo can grab the hands, and we'll stuff him in the trunk and . . .
oh my crukking god, are you two drinking?! del! i thought you were READING.
oh my crukking god, are you two drinking?! del! i thought you were READING.
yeah man here you go, should still be cold.
yo, can i get one of them beers?
October 19, 2025 at 5:12 PM
okay, when we get to this guy's place, del can grab the feet, lalo can grab the hands, and we'll stuff him in the trunk and . . .
oh my crukking god, are you two drinking?! del! i thought you were READING.
oh my crukking god, are you two drinking?! del! i thought you were READING.
oh, you did NOT just--
put your seatbelt on. i'm not letting that shit slide.
( RAPIDLY u-turning the car to tail the offending driver, shunting the car and everything in it quickly to the left. )
put your seatbelt on. i'm not letting that shit slide.
( RAPIDLY u-turning the car to tail the offending driver, shunting the car and everything in it quickly to the left. )
im so hard
that's MY job. shut up.
( an incredibly loud, drawn-out honk. ) HEY ASSHOLE, WHERE'D YOU LEARN TO CRUKKING DRIVE? THE APOTHECARY? UGH, GO FLORBLESNAPTOR A SNAKJONK! I'VE GOT RIGHT OF WAY HERE, SMEGMAFACE! ( giving him the 'snow shovel' gesture, famously crude in this portion of the galaxy. )
( an incredibly loud, drawn-out honk. ) HEY ASSHOLE, WHERE'D YOU LEARN TO CRUKKING DRIVE? THE APOTHECARY? UGH, GO FLORBLESNAPTOR A SNAKJONK! I'VE GOT RIGHT OF WAY HERE, SMEGMAFACE! ( giving him the 'snow shovel' gesture, famously crude in this portion of the galaxy. )
October 19, 2025 at 4:57 PM
oh, you did NOT just--
put your seatbelt on. i'm not letting that shit slide.
( RAPIDLY u-turning the car to tail the offending driver, shunting the car and everything in it quickly to the left. )
put your seatbelt on. i'm not letting that shit slide.
( RAPIDLY u-turning the car to tail the offending driver, shunting the car and everything in it quickly to the left. )
that's MY job. shut up.
( an incredibly loud, drawn-out honk. ) HEY ASSHOLE, WHERE'D YOU LEARN TO CRUKKING DRIVE? THE APOTHECARY? UGH, GO FLORBLESNAPTOR A SNAKJONK! I'VE GOT RIGHT OF WAY HERE, SMEGMAFACE! ( giving him the 'snow shovel' gesture, famously crude in this portion of the galaxy. )
( an incredibly loud, drawn-out honk. ) HEY ASSHOLE, WHERE'D YOU LEARN TO CRUKKING DRIVE? THE APOTHECARY? UGH, GO FLORBLESNAPTOR A SNAKJONK! I'VE GOT RIGHT OF WAY HERE, SMEGMAFACE! ( giving him the 'snow shovel' gesture, famously crude in this portion of the galaxy. )
HEY CRUK YOU DICKWAD!!!
oh yeah haha that one really spoke to me about the uh struggles of uh... yeah all of it. all of it.
October 19, 2025 at 4:51 PM
that's MY job. shut up.
( an incredibly loud, drawn-out honk. ) HEY ASSHOLE, WHERE'D YOU LEARN TO CRUKKING DRIVE? THE APOTHECARY? UGH, GO FLORBLESNAPTOR A SNAKJONK! I'VE GOT RIGHT OF WAY HERE, SMEGMAFACE! ( giving him the 'snow shovel' gesture, famously crude in this portion of the galaxy. )
( an incredibly loud, drawn-out honk. ) HEY ASSHOLE, WHERE'D YOU LEARN TO CRUKKING DRIVE? THE APOTHECARY? UGH, GO FLORBLESNAPTOR A SNAKJONK! I'VE GOT RIGHT OF WAY HERE, SMEGMAFACE! ( giving him the 'snow shovel' gesture, famously crude in this portion of the galaxy. )
( art is too busy driving to see what del's up to, exactly. )
yeah, that one's a good one, but did you read 'The Pattering of Tiny Feet: Confessions of a Proud Mother' by irma idyut? i thought that one was *so* brave, and just *SO* . . . *funny*, y'know?
hang on, i've gotta swear at a guy.
yeah, that one's a good one, but did you read 'The Pattering of Tiny Feet: Confessions of a Proud Mother' by irma idyut? i thought that one was *so* brave, and just *SO* . . . *funny*, y'know?
hang on, i've gotta swear at a guy.
aw haha no!
i can't get enough of... parenting for dummies.
i can't get enough of... parenting for dummies.
aw, are you *really*? aw, *del* . . . and i thought you were just up to something!
October 19, 2025 at 4:45 PM
( art is too busy driving to see what del's up to, exactly. )
yeah, that one's a good one, but did you read 'The Pattering of Tiny Feet: Confessions of a Proud Mother' by irma idyut? i thought that one was *so* brave, and just *SO* . . . *funny*, y'know?
hang on, i've gotta swear at a guy.
yeah, that one's a good one, but did you read 'The Pattering of Tiny Feet: Confessions of a Proud Mother' by irma idyut? i thought that one was *so* brave, and just *SO* . . . *funny*, y'know?
hang on, i've gotta swear at a guy.
aw, are you *really*? aw, *del* . . . and i thought you were just up to something!
too busy reading all these really cool parenting books?
why not?
October 19, 2025 at 4:37 PM
aw, are you *really*? aw, *del* . . . and i thought you were just up to something!
why not?
i uh don't want to.
elaborate on that.
October 19, 2025 at 4:31 PM
why not?
elaborate on that.
October 19, 2025 at 4:12 PM
elaborate on that.
'oh my gods, were you *asleep*? i told you to *pack a bag*,' art scoffs. she enters the small alcove of a room, a hand on her now not-so-small bump. she wants to go shopping, she says; her clothes don't fit anymore. 'we've landed. the first station we came across, remember? like i said.'
--
--
the floor is cold when she wakes. what the cruk was that? did she just micro nap? did she just astral project to another plane of existence? even as those questions formed she could feel her grasp on the dream slipping, the details melting away too fast. art was there. and so was...
@delasi.bsky.social you're quiet today.
October 17, 2025 at 4:01 PM
'oh my gods, were you *asleep*? i told you to *pack a bag*,' art scoffs. she enters the small alcove of a room, a hand on her now not-so-small bump. she wants to go shopping, she says; her clothes don't fit anymore. 'we've landed. the first station we came across, remember? like i said.'
--
--
@delasi.bsky.social you're quiet today.
October 14, 2025 at 4:06 PM
@delasi.bsky.social you're quiet today.
your *guys*.
my wriggly little guys.
your *guys*?
October 9, 2025 at 1:37 AM
your *guys*.
your *guys*?
( wiggling her fingers. )
my guys.
( making a circle with her other hand. )
your egg.
my guys.
( making a circle with her other hand. )
your egg.
'born fruit'? elaborate on that.
October 9, 2025 at 1:30 AM
your *guys*?
'born fruit'? elaborate on that.
𝓯𝓮𝓻𝓽𝓲𝓵𝓲𝔃𝓮𝓭.
oh, i *shivered*. i've got goosebumps. see? feel those.
October 9, 2025 at 1:09 AM
'born fruit'? elaborate on that.
oh, i *shivered*. i've got goosebumps. see? feel those.
𝕚𝕞𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕘𝕟𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕕.
knocked up is such a . . . crass term.
October 9, 2025 at 1:06 AM
oh, i *shivered*. i've got goosebumps. see? feel those.
knocked up is such a . . . crass term.
October 9, 2025 at 1:03 AM
knocked up is such a . . . crass term.
it's okay, just don't do it again.
... ... ... Sorry?
woah, woah, woah. i didn't say *you* could say that.
October 4, 2025 at 3:10 AM
it's okay, just don't do it again.
woah, woah, woah. i didn't say *you* could say that.
Yeah, that doesn't prove anything, it's only math!
it's only math.
October 2, 2025 at 11:26 PM
woah, woah, woah. i didn't say *you* could say that.
it's only math.
( looking smug. )
see? knows everything.
see? knows everything.
hmmm. wellll, using that chocolate pizza slice in your hand for comparison . . . i'd say . . .
1143.8941 gsm².
1143.8941 gsm².
October 2, 2025 at 9:44 PM
it's only math.
what's with the, um, man-thing in our garden?
October 2, 2025 at 9:43 PM
what's with the, um, man-thing in our garden?