make all drugs legal, sell all of them at the gas station. "no! people will ruin their lives" you'll hear, but in a world where you can bet on sports, take out student loans, and set up a payment plan for a single pizza on your phone, it's hard to imagine this is a constraint

Jon: I want a cupcake.
Me: Scout ate the rest of them off the counter (bad dog!)
Jon: Call the police!

😂😂

Just got a great deal at the Thrifty Market: A bag of fresh spinach (quiche), green leaf lettuce (BLTs etc), a bag of onions (3lb!) a quarter of a watermelon (for Jake), and a soda for $10 and change.

It will be here in 3 weeks! Real leather and silver, no nickel (allergic, and a lot of the cheaper ones contain it)

Just sitting here watching people drive in the Do Not Enter path 🤷🏼‍♀️

I cannot find Fanta grape soda anywhere in this town, and I am THIRSTY. Crush is bad and also hard to find, Publix brand tastes like medicine. Today I bought a grape Faygo, and pronounce it ‘ok’. 🍇

Spirit airlines bites the big one.

I was unable to keep my flight to NJ bc I’ve been sick. After I was unable to provide them with my birth cert or hospitalization information (I just threw out my discharge paperwork as I was sure I’d have no need for it) they told me I was ineligible for a refund

‘Possessions never meant anything to me
I’m not crazy
Well that’s not true I’ve got a bed
And a guitar
And a dog named SCOUT who pisses on my floor
That’s right I’ve got a floor
So what
So what’

Ugh bad dog 😩

Jon: ‘I want the bread to be toast, bc toast is yummy. So come here now.’ 😂