John Lawson
@guiromelans.bsky.social
I make stupid jokes to mask my anxiety
Friday is Cranberry Day, Pumpkin Pie Day, and Stuffing Day. You know what that means... Yep, it's also False Confession Day, and I confess I have no idea what I'm doing. In Canada, it's Red Mitten Day, because they feel bad they had their Thanksgiving too early.
November 21, 2025 at 4:14 AM
Friday is Cranberry Day, Pumpkin Pie Day, and Stuffing Day. You know what that means... Yep, it's also False Confession Day, and I confess I have no idea what I'm doing. In Canada, it's Red Mitten Day, because they feel bad they had their Thanksgiving too early.
Family believes spirit/god lives in the woods? Grandmother worships it? Something atmospheric ensues?
Beautifully shot, eerie, completely mysterious. So light on plot as to be non-existent. Had no idea what was going on.
www.imdb.com/title/tt1055...
Beautifully shot, eerie, completely mysterious. So light on plot as to be non-existent. Had no idea what was going on.
www.imdb.com/title/tt1055...
Sator (2019) ⭐ 5.1 | Horror
1h 25m | Not Rated
www.imdb.com
November 20, 2025 at 4:30 PM
Family believes spirit/god lives in the woods? Grandmother worships it? Something atmospheric ensues?
Beautifully shot, eerie, completely mysterious. So light on plot as to be non-existent. Had no idea what was going on.
www.imdb.com/title/tt1055...
Beautifully shot, eerie, completely mysterious. So light on plot as to be non-existent. Had no idea what was going on.
www.imdb.com/title/tt1055...
Thursday is World Philosophy Day. Also known as I Work at Starbucks Day. It's Rural Health Day. Doc Hollywood approves. It's Name Your PC Day. I've named mine Brick.
November 20, 2025 at 3:48 AM
Thursday is World Philosophy Day. Also known as I Work at Starbucks Day. It's Rural Health Day. Doc Hollywood approves. It's Name Your PC Day. I've named mine Brick.
Sad, selfish girl shelters in home controlled by evil Alexa. Evil Alexa being evil ensues.
Usually, evil AI movies have a instigating action, that moment when it misunderstands and starts to spin. This movie doesn't have one. Why?
Surprise, it was a ghost all along. Angry ghost controls house AI.
Usually, evil AI movies have a instigating action, that moment when it misunderstands and starts to spin. This movie doesn't have one. Why?
Surprise, it was a ghost all along. Angry ghost controls house AI.
Romi (2023) ⭐ 4.0 | Horror, Mystery
1h 26m
www.imdb.com
November 19, 2025 at 9:17 PM
Sad, selfish girl shelters in home controlled by evil Alexa. Evil Alexa being evil ensues.
Usually, evil AI movies have a instigating action, that moment when it misunderstands and starts to spin. This movie doesn't have one. Why?
Surprise, it was a ghost all along. Angry ghost controls house AI.
Usually, evil AI movies have a instigating action, that moment when it misunderstands and starts to spin. This movie doesn't have one. Why?
Surprise, it was a ghost all along. Angry ghost controls house AI.
Afghan War vet comes home with a passenger. The power of true love ensues.
Oh Renny, I remember when you were directing A-list blockbusters.
I liked the vets' masks. I liked the imam and his ways, but you're supposed to. Everyone's a bigot but him.
www.imdb.com/title/tt1435...
Oh Renny, I remember when you were directing A-list blockbusters.
I liked the vets' masks. I liked the imam and his ways, but you're supposed to. Everyone's a bigot but him.
www.imdb.com/title/tt1435...
Refuge (2023) ⭐ 4.3 | Horror
1h 31m | R
www.imdb.com
November 19, 2025 at 4:05 PM
Afghan War vet comes home with a passenger. The power of true love ensues.
Oh Renny, I remember when you were directing A-list blockbusters.
I liked the vets' masks. I liked the imam and his ways, but you're supposed to. Everyone's a bigot but him.
www.imdb.com/title/tt1435...
Oh Renny, I remember when you were directing A-list blockbusters.
I liked the vets' masks. I liked the imam and his ways, but you're supposed to. Everyone's a bigot but him.
www.imdb.com/title/tt1435...
Wednesday is International Men's Day. You won't see a Google Doodle for that one. It's Carbonated Beverage with Caffeine Day. Oh, god yes. And it's Macchiato Day. Are they carbonated? It's Play Monopoly Day, but only if you hate your friends/family. And it's Blow Bagpipes Day.
November 19, 2025 at 4:17 AM
Wednesday is International Men's Day. You won't see a Google Doodle for that one. It's Carbonated Beverage with Caffeine Day. Oh, god yes. And it's Macchiato Day. Are they carbonated? It's Play Monopoly Day, but only if you hate your friends/family. And it's Blow Bagpipes Day.
Internet demon ghosts are being scary, playing peek-a-boo, and then blipping people away. Only group of plucky college hackers can save the world. The world isn't saved ensued.
I hated this movie. I only finished it because I started and quit so many worse movies today. I also like Kristen Bell.
I hated this movie. I only finished it because I started and quit so many worse movies today. I also like Kristen Bell.
Pulse (2006) ⭐ 4.7 | Horror, Sci-Fi, Thriller
1h 30m | PG-13
www.imdb.com
November 18, 2025 at 10:06 PM
Internet demon ghosts are being scary, playing peek-a-boo, and then blipping people away. Only group of plucky college hackers can save the world. The world isn't saved ensued.
I hated this movie. I only finished it because I started and quit so many worse movies today. I also like Kristen Bell.
I hated this movie. I only finished it because I started and quit so many worse movies today. I also like Kristen Bell.
Mad scientist raises mutant piranha in remote lab. Idiots dump them directly into fast track to fishers, campers, vacationers, ocean. Meatballs ensue.
COOL STOP MOTION! Only used once. :(
Real movie from real director with real actors and actual story. Plus boobs.
3 stars.
COOL STOP MOTION! Only used once. :(
Real movie from real director with real actors and actual story. Plus boobs.
3 stars.
Piranha (1978) ⭐ 5.9 | Comedy, Horror, Sci-Fi
1h 34m | R
www.imdb.com
November 18, 2025 at 7:39 PM
Mad scientist raises mutant piranha in remote lab. Idiots dump them directly into fast track to fishers, campers, vacationers, ocean. Meatballs ensue.
COOL STOP MOTION! Only used once. :(
Real movie from real director with real actors and actual story. Plus boobs.
3 stars.
COOL STOP MOTION! Only used once. :(
Real movie from real director with real actors and actual story. Plus boobs.
3 stars.
Tuesday is Princess Day. It's also Married to a Scorpio Support Day. Are princesses overwhelmingly Scorpios? Or their princes? Maybe Pocahontas was a Scorpio. Because it's Native Women's Equal Pay Day. Related, it's Micky Mouse Day. Unrelated, it's Latvia's Independence Day.
November 18, 2025 at 3:52 AM
Tuesday is Princess Day. It's also Married to a Scorpio Support Day. Are princesses overwhelmingly Scorpios? Or their princes? Maybe Pocahontas was a Scorpio. Because it's Native Women's Equal Pay Day. Related, it's Micky Mouse Day. Unrelated, it's Latvia's Independence Day.
Expedition goes to Nepal to capture yeti. Hunk Man gets lost, captured by sexy naked werewolf babes, turned into werewolf, escapes for some reason. Rest of expedition gets kidnapped by hill bandits. No yeti hunting ensues.
What? There's never any actual night either.
www.imdb.com/title/tt0073...
What? There's never any actual night either.
www.imdb.com/title/tt0073...
Night of the Howling Beast (1975) ⭐ 5.3 | Adventure, Horror
1h 27m | R
www.imdb.com
November 17, 2025 at 9:36 PM
Expedition goes to Nepal to capture yeti. Hunk Man gets lost, captured by sexy naked werewolf babes, turned into werewolf, escapes for some reason. Rest of expedition gets kidnapped by hill bandits. No yeti hunting ensues.
What? There's never any actual night either.
www.imdb.com/title/tt0073...
What? There's never any actual night either.
www.imdb.com/title/tt0073...
Friends visit remote, luxury cabin in Donner Pass just prior to massive blizzard. Because weather forecasts don't exist, and Donner Pass isn't a state park next to a major highway (HWY80). Cannibal ghosts ensue.
For a remote, cursed, murder cabin, it's surprisingly huge, modern, and fancy.
For a remote, cursed, murder cabin, it's surprisingly huge, modern, and fancy.
Necrosis (2009) ⭐ 3.1 | Horror, Thriller
1h 30m | Not Rated
www.imdb.com
November 17, 2025 at 4:13 PM
Friends visit remote, luxury cabin in Donner Pass just prior to massive blizzard. Because weather forecasts don't exist, and Donner Pass isn't a state park next to a major highway (HWY80). Cannibal ghosts ensue.
For a remote, cursed, murder cabin, it's surprisingly huge, modern, and fancy.
For a remote, cursed, murder cabin, it's surprisingly huge, modern, and fancy.
Monday is World Prematurity Day. You know, gentlemen, there is a treatment for that. It's Mexican Revolution Anniversary, which sounds a lot better than Cinqo de Mayo. And it's International Happy Gose Day, which I think might be a typo.
November 17, 2025 at 3:26 AM
Monday is World Prematurity Day. You know, gentlemen, there is a treatment for that. It's Mexican Revolution Anniversary, which sounds a lot better than Cinqo de Mayo. And it's International Happy Gose Day, which I think might be a typo.
Buddies go on camping trip/bachelor party in remote woods. Invite a stripper? In a campsite? Psycho knife murderer ensues.
It's a comedy, it's a horror. Does the comedy minimize the horror? Yes. Does the horror minimize the comedy? Also yes. Do either work? No.
www.imdb.com/title/tt2160...
It's a comedy, it's a horror. Does the comedy minimize the horror? Yes. Does the horror minimize the comedy? Also yes. Do either work? No.
www.imdb.com/title/tt2160...
Massacre at Femur Creek (2024) ⭐ 5.9 | Comedy, Horror
1h 22m
www.imdb.com
November 16, 2025 at 9:23 PM
Buddies go on camping trip/bachelor party in remote woods. Invite a stripper? In a campsite? Psycho knife murderer ensues.
It's a comedy, it's a horror. Does the comedy minimize the horror? Yes. Does the horror minimize the comedy? Also yes. Do either work? No.
www.imdb.com/title/tt2160...
It's a comedy, it's a horror. Does the comedy minimize the horror? Yes. Does the horror minimize the comedy? Also yes. Do either work? No.
www.imdb.com/title/tt2160...
Sunday is World Day of Remembrance for Road Traffic Victims, just in time for Holiday traffic! Speaking of Holiday travel, it's International Check Your Wipers Day.
November 16, 2025 at 3:52 AM
Sunday is World Day of Remembrance for Road Traffic Victims, just in time for Holiday traffic! Speaking of Holiday travel, it's International Check Your Wipers Day.
Saturday is America Recycles Day, but does it? It's American Enterprise Day. China approves. It's the Day of the Imprisoned Writer. Writer's block? It's Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day. I guess because of Thanksgiving?
November 15, 2025 at 3:14 AM
Saturday is America Recycles Day, but does it? It's American Enterprise Day. China approves. It's the Day of the Imprisoned Writer. Writer's block? It's Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day. I guess because of Thanksgiving?
Teens visit haunted road to prove it is haunted. Cops look for serial killer to prove he's serial. Are they connected? Suicidally stupid teens ensue.
"Our car has mysteriously broken down. I'll go walk alone for help."
www.imdb.com/title/tt1720...
"Our car has mysteriously broken down. I'll go walk alone for help."
www.imdb.com/title/tt1720...
Munger Road (2011) ⭐ 4.4 | Horror, Mystery, Thriller
1h 26m | PG-13
www.imdb.com
November 14, 2025 at 4:11 PM
Teens visit haunted road to prove it is haunted. Cops look for serial killer to prove he's serial. Are they connected? Suicidally stupid teens ensue.
"Our car has mysteriously broken down. I'll go walk alone for help."
www.imdb.com/title/tt1720...
"Our car has mysteriously broken down. I'll go walk alone for help."
www.imdb.com/title/tt1720...
John Connor approves
November 14, 2025 at 4:47 AM
John Connor approves
Friday is International Girls Day because American Girls are just dolls. It's Loosen Up, Lighten Up Day. Too loose? It's Laugh like a Lunatic Day. It's Operating Room Nurse Day, and the perfect time for lunatic laughter is the operating room. And it's American Teddy Bear Day.
Teddy Has An Operation
YouTube video by Ze Frank
www.youtube.com
November 14, 2025 at 3:42 AM
Friday is International Girls Day because American Girls are just dolls. It's Loosen Up, Lighten Up Day. Too loose? It's Laugh like a Lunatic Day. It's Operating Room Nurse Day, and the perfect time for lunatic laughter is the operating room. And it's American Teddy Bear Day.
People meet on the road, arrive in small town just in time for zombie uprising. Uber zombies and overly-enthusiastic law enforcement ensues.
Not a virus, comet, meteorite, serum, voodoo, Satan, other. These zoms rise because of subsonic radio waves. Yes.
www.imdb.com/title/tt0071...
Not a virus, comet, meteorite, serum, voodoo, Satan, other. These zoms rise because of subsonic radio waves. Yes.
www.imdb.com/title/tt0071...
Let Sleeping Corpses Lie (1974) ⭐ 6.7 | Drama, Horror, Sci-Fi
1h 35m | R
www.imdb.com
November 13, 2025 at 8:31 PM
People meet on the road, arrive in small town just in time for zombie uprising. Uber zombies and overly-enthusiastic law enforcement ensues.
Not a virus, comet, meteorite, serum, voodoo, Satan, other. These zoms rise because of subsonic radio waves. Yes.
www.imdb.com/title/tt0071...
Not a virus, comet, meteorite, serum, voodoo, Satan, other. These zoms rise because of subsonic radio waves. Yes.
www.imdb.com/title/tt0071...
Socially inept, withdrawn young man told by social workers he'll be institutionalized if he doesn't make friends. Digging some up ensues.
With its macabre sense of humor and retro 70s vibe, it feels like part of the "Edward Scissorhands" expanded universe. And it totally works.
With its macabre sense of humor and retro 70s vibe, it feels like part of the "Edward Scissorhands" expanded universe. And it totally works.
The Loneliest Boy in the World (2022) ⭐ 5.1 | Comedy, Horror
1h 31m | R
www.imdb.com
November 13, 2025 at 4:13 PM
Socially inept, withdrawn young man told by social workers he'll be institutionalized if he doesn't make friends. Digging some up ensues.
With its macabre sense of humor and retro 70s vibe, it feels like part of the "Edward Scissorhands" expanded universe. And it totally works.
With its macabre sense of humor and retro 70s vibe, it feels like part of the "Edward Scissorhands" expanded universe. And it totally works.
Thursday is World Usability Day. Are we using the world? I think we are. It's also World Quality Day, but after this much use, it's not what it used to be. And it's World Kindness Day. Ugh, liberals.
November 13, 2025 at 3:46 AM
Thursday is World Usability Day. Are we using the world? I think we are. It's also World Quality Day, but after this much use, it's not what it used to be. And it's World Kindness Day. Ugh, liberals.
Kid convicted in gang rape. Gets out and plots clumsy revenge on the innocent. Perfectly normal mother/son relations ensue.
So he's angry at the victim because he couldn't get it up during the rape but was convicted anyway. He's angry with his lawyer because she didn't get him off?
So he's angry at the victim because he couldn't get it up during the rape but was convicted anyway. He's angry with his lawyer because she didn't get him off?
The Killing Kind (1973) ⭐ 6.1 | Crime, Drama, Horror
1h 35m | R
www.imdb.com
November 12, 2025 at 9:51 PM
Kid convicted in gang rape. Gets out and plots clumsy revenge on the innocent. Perfectly normal mother/son relations ensue.
So he's angry at the victim because he couldn't get it up during the rape but was convicted anyway. He's angry with his lawyer because she didn't get him off?
So he's angry at the victim because he couldn't get it up during the rape but was convicted anyway. He's angry with his lawyer because she didn't get him off?
Inventor man takes job at secret defense contractor, moves family into planned community. Golly, wouldn't it be great if they were invited to the super exclusive country club? Stealing souls ensues.
So I guess it's a big coincidence that the gate to hell was next to this space company.
So I guess it's a big coincidence that the gate to hell was next to this space company.
Invitation to Hell (TV Movie 1984) ⭐ 5.1 | Horror, Sci-Fi, Thriller
1h 36m | Not Rated
www.imdb.com
November 12, 2025 at 8:38 PM
Inventor man takes job at secret defense contractor, moves family into planned community. Golly, wouldn't it be great if they were invited to the super exclusive country club? Stealing souls ensues.
So I guess it's a big coincidence that the gate to hell was next to this space company.
So I guess it's a big coincidence that the gate to hell was next to this space company.
Young person seeks approval from social collective by performing ritualistic rite of passage. The power of friendship ensues.
In the run up of this movie, the collective neckbeards criticized it for having bad effects, monster design, and a female protag. Happy to say none of that was an issue.
In the run up of this movie, the collective neckbeards criticized it for having bad effects, monster design, and a female protag. Happy to say none of that was an issue.
Predator: Badlands (2025) ⭐ 7.6 | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi
1h 47m | PG-13
www.imdb.com
November 12, 2025 at 3:54 AM
Young person seeks approval from social collective by performing ritualistic rite of passage. The power of friendship ensues.
In the run up of this movie, the collective neckbeards criticized it for having bad effects, monster design, and a female protag. Happy to say none of that was an issue.
In the run up of this movie, the collective neckbeards criticized it for having bad effects, monster design, and a female protag. Happy to say none of that was an issue.
Wednesday is French Dip Day. "Dip", the French word for "rubber ducky". It's World Pneumonia Day, but a little chicken soup will clear that right up. Which is why it's also Chicken Soup for the Soul Day.
November 12, 2025 at 3:50 AM
Wednesday is French Dip Day. "Dip", the French word for "rubber ducky". It's World Pneumonia Day, but a little chicken soup will clear that right up. Which is why it's also Chicken Soup for the Soul Day.