My favorite part about defending the wall from heretic raiders is the after party with the boys. Could fill the Mediterranean up with all the oil we use

This new recruit is always really excited to help me lather up, which is convenient because my lats have become so huge, I can't reach my back. I love his enthusiasm haha!

Little handsy, though.

Orders came down from the Sultan today. Bad news.. we're all out of oil. Good news.. I've stockpiled so much that I might actually put Azeb Ayman out of business 🤣

Some guy in a gas mask comes strolling out of the desert talking about "holy warfare" and "labyrinthian ditches spanning an entire battlefield".

I'm like, what is this, some kind of Trench Crusade?

Anyways, we fed him to the homunculus we keep in the barracks for entertainment 🤣

These Azeb Ayman "Huge Hunks" brand weights keep falling apart. Literally, turning into dust. Anytime I try to get a refund, I just wait around all day and end up spending more money. How does he get me every time 🤦🏾‍♂️

DO NOT buy Ayman Azeb’s “Bad Day Go-Away Spray”. Not only did it not improve my day, but I’m fairly sure it’s acidic.

Bumped into this janissarie today.. he turns around, calls me a dog, and tells me to know my place. Like okay chief, keep babysitting the Sultan or whatever, I got a date with your wife anyways 😂💪🏾

Just heard some pilgrims bragging about how they resurrect. Okay big whoop my homonculus has done that 7 times. Get a new schtick.

Been hitting so many squats lately, gonna change my profession to ASSassin

Was antagonizing one of the bulls and it accidentally blew up someone's house 💀 gonna tell them it was one of those ladies with the nukes LOL

Anyone got any protein recommendations? I bought this jar labeled "Trench Dust" from some dude in a cone hat last week at the bazaar and I swear it got me hearing voices.

Just hanging out with the boys, pumping some Iron. Captain rode our ass today about not getting anything done but this wall ain't going to polish itself 💪