watching criminal minds = spidey recommendations

uhhh, thanks disney

ok im back what did i miss

got to work early today & got greeted with jacob running out of his office
"did you know we have a doorbell now?? since when??"
"uhh, like 2weeks"
"oh"
"see this is what happens when you're never here, you miss out on things that happen"
"shuddup" *goes back to his office*

if you want an xmas card, lemme know & I'll send you one!!

100% love this app more cause I see random galaxy nebula pictures with different shapes instead of naked peeps lol

today i asked someone how they have their sugar instead of how do you have your coffee/do you have sugar

so imma just crawl in a hole & bury myself

good morning to everyone EXCEPT SPOTIFY WHERE IS MY WRAPPED BRO?!??!!???!?

this text i got from the cop & no im not providing context 😂

word for word convo that happened in front of me just now

*talking about the tv show* "Lucifer is down to fuck anyone anywhere"

"I'm sure if he wasn't related to his brother he'd fuck him"

"Lucifer & I have something in common"

"you wanna fuck your brother??"

"THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT"

how do i get myself legally declared a raccoon

realized i get way too happy when i get notifications from certain people and that they’re prob just like 🤷🏻‍♀️ when they get a notification from me. i need to reel it in lmao