Garrett Pierce
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garrettfpierce.bsky.social
Garrett Pierce
@garrettfpierce.bsky.social
Once, current, and future moron

Formerly @garrettfpierce on Twitter
“Out of all the reindeer, you know you’re the mastermind” is probably one of the most bizarre opening lines to a song in history.
December 14, 2025 at 3:15 AM
Why are you, a grown adult man, commenting on anything having to do with the show Euphoria
December 13, 2025 at 3:01 AM
People have been talking about nuclear fission for a long time. I have been doing something since middle school that I call nuclear fishin’, in which I throw fireworks into the river and see what happens.

Today I learned about homophones.
December 12, 2025 at 8:34 PM
Me: I think everyone should be free to enjoy the things they like. People are too mean about other people enjoying things.

Someone: I like anime

Me: go fuck yourself
December 9, 2025 at 3:23 AM
Every time I mean to talk about Bath and Body Works, I say Bed Bath and Beyond instead. At this point the two companies should merge solely so I can stop looking like an idiot
December 8, 2025 at 1:41 PM
Average Guitar Center customer tbh
Google Maps send bad drivers back to driving school
December 4, 2025 at 4:53 PM
Weird vibes! At the TSA checkpoint
December 2, 2025 at 7:35 PM
Hi all. It’s embarrassing to write this, but I have been made aware that the quality of my posts has indeed slipped due to the team I hired. I have terminated our contract and will be overseeing my posts personally for the foreseeable future. I will also identify the offending posts.
I’ve become much more busy over the last few weeks, so for the sake of efficiency and ensuring a steady stream of posts, I am outsourcing my work to a group of overseas. Quality will remain unchanged, that I can promise you.
November 28, 2025 at 3:14 PM
go fuck your self
November 28, 2025 at 3:10 PM
mssed a blk frday sale on leters nd culd nt affrd more. hv 2 post lk ths for 4-c-able futr
November 27, 2025 at 3:17 PM
onion repost
November 27, 2025 at 3:15 PM
Prez ded?
November 26, 2025 at 6:29 PM
american snack food weird
November 26, 2025 at 12:22 PM
tfw pants shitted
November 25, 2025 at 11:33 PM
nine eleven laughter
November 25, 2025 at 12:30 PM
Haha hot dogs
November 25, 2025 at 3:22 AM
My Star Wars rankings:

1. Watch
2. Whichever
3. Movies
4. You
5. Like
6. And
7. Shut
8. Up
9. The Rise of Skywalker
November 24, 2025 at 10:09 PM
pants shit, right?
November 24, 2025 at 9:34 PM
I’ve become much more busy over the last few weeks, so for the sake of efficiency and ensuring a steady stream of posts, I am outsourcing my work to a group of overseas. Quality will remain unchanged, that I can promise you.
November 24, 2025 at 7:42 PM
Slipped on a banana peel that I dropped today. Much to consider
I've never slipped on a banana peel. I've never even seen a banana peel in such a fashion where it could be slipped on.

The only logical conclusion is that the forces of this universe have decided that I am a superior being who shall not be bothered with trivial matters such as slippable peels
November 24, 2025 at 6:13 PM
besmirch is a goated word
November 23, 2025 at 6:12 PM
I've never slipped on a banana peel. I've never even seen a banana peel in such a fashion where it could be slipped on.

The only logical conclusion is that the forces of this universe have decided that I am a superior being who shall not be bothered with trivial matters such as slippable peels
November 23, 2025 at 2:16 PM
You’re telling me a fried chicken fried this fried chicken at the chicken fry on a Friday
November 22, 2025 at 1:17 PM
met a man named Hugo out in the wild the other day. truly harrowing stuff
November 22, 2025 at 1:04 PM
It’s very simple, really

I am not interested in AI generated art

Art is an expression of humanity
November 20, 2025 at 6:30 PM