Future Former Lawyer
@futureformerjd.bsky.social
Building the world's smallest family office, one W-2 paycheck at a time. House poor. Pushing back retirement w/ every ill-advised purchase. TRACTOR owner.
I bought a WSJ subscription and am forcing myself to read at least one article per day. Today I learned Mila Kunis is the head of her HOA.
December 5, 2025 at 2:44 AM
I bought a WSJ subscription and am forcing myself to read at least one article per day. Today I learned Mila Kunis is the head of her HOA.
The Gang Explains the AI Economy
November 26, 2025 at 12:39 AM
The Gang Explains the AI Economy
Me: These Nvidia theories seem wildly overblown.
Nvidia: We are not Enron!
Me:
Nvidia: We are not Enron!
Me:
November 26, 2025 at 12:36 AM
Me: These Nvidia theories seem wildly overblown.
Nvidia: We are not Enron!
Me:
Nvidia: We are not Enron!
Me:
Marjorie Taylor Greene would have to be a much bigger idiot than we already know her to be NOT to resign until after her pension vests. You better believe I'd be waiting for that pension.
November 23, 2025 at 9:18 PM
Marjorie Taylor Greene would have to be a much bigger idiot than we already know her to be NOT to resign until after her pension vests. You better believe I'd be waiting for that pension.
Never bring a gun to a knife fight. You'll just look like you're trying too hard. It's cringe.
November 23, 2025 at 2:04 AM
Never bring a gun to a knife fight. You'll just look like you're trying too hard. It's cringe.
Reposted by Future Former Lawyer
Zohran flip your hair again we need healthcare get him to give us healthcare.
November 21, 2025 at 9:26 PM
Zohran flip your hair again we need healthcare get him to give us healthcare.
No.
1. You aren't getting racist, homophobic, Christian nationalist MAGAs to join the Democrat party. Nor would Democrats want them.
2. "Dunking" on these awful cult members will result in many of them returning to their pre-Trump status as non-voters.
"Adding them" is unnecessary.
1. You aren't getting racist, homophobic, Christian nationalist MAGAs to join the Democrat party. Nor would Democrats want them.
2. "Dunking" on these awful cult members will result in many of them returning to their pre-Trump status as non-voters.
"Adding them" is unnecessary.
November 16, 2025 at 1:36 PM
No.
1. You aren't getting racist, homophobic, Christian nationalist MAGAs to join the Democrat party. Nor would Democrats want them.
2. "Dunking" on these awful cult members will result in many of them returning to their pre-Trump status as non-voters.
"Adding them" is unnecessary.
1. You aren't getting racist, homophobic, Christian nationalist MAGAs to join the Democrat party. Nor would Democrats want them.
2. "Dunking" on these awful cult members will result in many of them returning to their pre-Trump status as non-voters.
"Adding them" is unnecessary.
When it's time for the last season of the Simpsons, they should age by two years from one episode to the next episode. Unfreeze them. Let them grow. And age. And what follows after that. When it's time.
November 13, 2025 at 12:33 AM
When it's time for the last season of the Simpsons, they should age by two years from one episode to the next episode. Unfreeze them. Let them grow. And age. And what follows after that. When it's time.
I'm starting to think this Trump fella may have had more to do with Epstein than he's letting on. Just a hunch.
November 12, 2025 at 9:25 PM
I'm starting to think this Trump fella may have had more to do with Epstein than he's letting on. Just a hunch.
Was having a pretty good day until being unceremoniously and very publicly told I will NEVER be the CEO of Berkshire Hathaway. Not gonna lie, it stings a little.
November 10, 2025 at 8:37 PM
Was having a pretty good day until being unceremoniously and very publicly told I will NEVER be the CEO of Berkshire Hathaway. Not gonna lie, it stings a little.
"Affordability" is completely relative. What's affordable for one is unaffordable for another. As long as NYC is one of the most desirable places to live on Earth, it's going to be a lot more expensive than less desirable places. Apparently this is controversial, despite its truth.
November 8, 2025 at 1:22 PM
"Affordability" is completely relative. What's affordable for one is unaffordable for another. As long as NYC is one of the most desirable places to live on Earth, it's going to be a lot more expensive than less desirable places. Apparently this is controversial, despite its truth.
"Is there a doctor in the house? A real doctor?"
holy shit -- one of Trump's toadies just passed out and the White House event is brought to an abrupt end
November 7, 2025 at 12:15 AM
"Is there a doctor in the house? A real doctor?"
Dick Cheney's villainy seems quaint by comparison. Ah, the good ol' days.
November 4, 2025 at 11:54 AM
Dick Cheney's villainy seems quaint by comparison. Ah, the good ol' days.
A good ol' fashioned bench clearing... staredown?
Was that the first bench clearing staredown in World Series history?
Was that the first bench clearing staredown in World Series history?
November 2, 2025 at 1:29 AM
A good ol' fashioned bench clearing... staredown?
Was that the first bench clearing staredown in World Series history?
Was that the first bench clearing staredown in World Series history?
I have to admit it, Canada has a pretty good national anthem.
November 1, 2025 at 11:57 PM
I have to admit it, Canada has a pretty good national anthem.
What about a show called Is It Lasagna?
November 1, 2025 at 11:45 PM
What about a show called Is It Lasagna?
Plot twist: Sanchez WAS the criminal. I'd say Governor Braun butt fumbled that one!
October 5, 2025 at 9:52 PM
Plot twist: Sanchez WAS the criminal. I'd say Governor Braun butt fumbled that one!
Congrats to the guy who thought Zoom would outperform QRTEA/QCV/QWHATEVERTHEFUCKTHEY'RECALLINGITTHESEDAYS. Nailed it.
September 29, 2025 at 6:58 PM
Congrats to the guy who thought Zoom would outperform QRTEA/QCV/QWHATEVERTHEFUCKTHEY'RECALLINGITTHESEDAYS. Nailed it.
"We did nothing wrong. But, to avoid the cost of continuing litigation (which could cost MILLIONS), we are settling the case with the FTC for $2.5 billion."
-Amazon, probably
-Amazon, probably
September 25, 2025 at 7:45 PM
"We did nothing wrong. But, to avoid the cost of continuing litigation (which could cost MILLIONS), we are settling the case with the FTC for $2.5 billion."
-Amazon, probably
-Amazon, probably
Canceled Disney Plus. I don't watch Kimmel. I don't watch any of the late night hosts. Just not my thing. But when you start censoring comedians, you can fuck right off. #fuckDisney
September 17, 2025 at 11:44 PM
Canceled Disney Plus. I don't watch Kimmel. I don't watch any of the late night hosts. Just not my thing. But when you start censoring comedians, you can fuck right off. #fuckDisney
Fuck Disney. Did they fly the flag at half mast when Melissa Hortman was assassinated?
Uninvestable company on the wrong side of history.
Uninvestable company on the wrong side of history.
September 17, 2025 at 10:53 PM
Fuck Disney. Did they fly the flag at half mast when Melissa Hortman was assassinated?
Uninvestable company on the wrong side of history.
Uninvestable company on the wrong side of history.
First Gene Hackman. Then Robert Redford. Who's next? Wilford Brimley?
September 16, 2025 at 5:55 PM
First Gene Hackman. Then Robert Redford. Who's next? Wilford Brimley?
Time to get back off of social media for a while.
September 11, 2025 at 12:26 PM
Time to get back off of social media for a while.
Doctor I trust more than RFK
September 7, 2025 at 5:34 PM
Doctor I trust more than RFK