the heart
@fredward3948576.bsky.social
and he rose again in accordance with a bluesky he made earlier
Pinned
the heart
@fredward3948576.bsky.social
· Nov 21
I made an account on twitter too if you're interested
I can replay the twitter hits on here for 6 likes, life is amazing
October 16, 2025 at 7:07 AM
I can replay the twitter hits on here for 6 likes, life is amazing
You don't even realize that I've killed you, that's how killed you are. That's how I've killed you you are
October 16, 2025 at 7:06 AM
You don't even realize that I've killed you, that's how killed you are. That's how I've killed you you are
I think I am being feasted upon by the invisible
October 16, 2025 at 7:05 AM
I think I am being feasted upon by the invisible
getting hit by a city bus probably feels like receiving a warm hug from a friend
May 23, 2025 at 5:30 AM
getting hit by a city bus probably feels like receiving a warm hug from a friend
It’s all about dying from preventable causes
May 23, 2025 at 5:29 AM
It’s all about dying from preventable causes
[whistling nonchalantly, looks down at the blade sticking out of my stomach] oh right, I’ve been run through
May 3, 2025 at 6:25 AM
[whistling nonchalantly, looks down at the blade sticking out of my stomach] oh right, I’ve been run through
it’s all about listening to your body, the immense pain in the area surrounding my left eye is my body’s way of telling me that my eye is bad and needs to be removed immediately
May 3, 2025 at 6:25 AM
it’s all about listening to your body, the immense pain in the area surrounding my left eye is my body’s way of telling me that my eye is bad and needs to be removed immediately
Posting is like showing a little shoulder and batting your eyes, letting out a "yoo-hoo" and dropping your handkerchief
April 25, 2025 at 2:48 AM
Posting is like showing a little shoulder and batting your eyes, letting out a "yoo-hoo" and dropping your handkerchief
My career as a slippery Wild West outlaw was tragically cut short after being shot to death by every sheriff from every county all at once
April 25, 2025 at 2:47 AM
My career as a slippery Wild West outlaw was tragically cut short after being shot to death by every sheriff from every county all at once
Asking a bug to explain itself then laughing while it struggles to produce a single word
April 24, 2025 at 5:30 AM
Asking a bug to explain itself then laughing while it struggles to produce a single word
Tossing a quarter to a squirrel, finger guns at a stray cat, putting my jacket over a puddle for a rat, dapping up a cockroach
April 24, 2025 at 5:30 AM
Tossing a quarter to a squirrel, finger guns at a stray cat, putting my jacket over a puddle for a rat, dapping up a cockroach
hey bro you left your intoxicatingly sweet scent at my apartment.. and it's fading...
April 22, 2025 at 5:43 AM
hey bro you left your intoxicatingly sweet scent at my apartment.. and it's fading...
The bus driver is making me ride up front with him, something about wanting "to savor every moment of our time together".. he's talking about how he can go fast if he wants to but isn't afraid to take it slow
April 22, 2025 at 5:42 AM
The bus driver is making me ride up front with him, something about wanting "to savor every moment of our time together".. he's talking about how he can go fast if he wants to but isn't afraid to take it slow
My homunculus was killed during his Uber Eats shift. [looks over at a holstered gun lying on a table and sighs] the one day he forgets his service weapon..
April 21, 2025 at 7:46 PM
My homunculus was killed during his Uber Eats shift. [looks over at a holstered gun lying on a table and sighs] the one day he forgets his service weapon..
People keep trying to kidnap my homunculus when he delivers their Uber Eats orders. They try to lure him inside, offering candy or power. Poor little guy, he’s quite shaken, he didn’t know the world was this malicious
April 21, 2025 at 7:45 PM
People keep trying to kidnap my homunculus when he delivers their Uber Eats orders. They try to lure him inside, offering candy or power. Poor little guy, he’s quite shaken, he didn’t know the world was this malicious
I am bursting at the seams with gray paste
April 21, 2025 at 7:37 PM
I am bursting at the seams with gray paste
If I was sucked into a jet engine they wouldn’t turn around and land for maintenance, they would just keep going. The pilots would say “wow we must have hit a fly or something extremely small and insignificant” The flight attendants would pass out refreshments
April 21, 2025 at 7:37 PM
If I was sucked into a jet engine they wouldn’t turn around and land for maintenance, they would just keep going. The pilots would say “wow we must have hit a fly or something extremely small and insignificant” The flight attendants would pass out refreshments
I keep an alien frozen in my garage freezer and thaw him out when guests come over so we can play the game "catch the alien before he tells his alien superiors to blow up the planet"
April 21, 2025 at 7:41 AM
I keep an alien frozen in my garage freezer and thaw him out when guests come over so we can play the game "catch the alien before he tells his alien superiors to blow up the planet"
felt wrong to copy and paste my tweets here... these are two different accounts, two different people
April 21, 2025 at 7:38 AM
felt wrong to copy and paste my tweets here... these are two different accounts, two different people
Reposted by the heart
[Congressional hearing] What does it mean to post?
(Leaning down to speak into the mic) To post is to dream. That is my belief.
[An aide holds up a tweet printed on cardboard] And how often to you dream of "getting sucked off by the great beyond?"
(Sweating) Um... Well... That's out of context...
(Leaning down to speak into the mic) To post is to dream. That is my belief.
[An aide holds up a tweet printed on cardboard] And how often to you dream of "getting sucked off by the great beyond?"
(Sweating) Um... Well... That's out of context...
February 13, 2025 at 10:16 PM
[Congressional hearing] What does it mean to post?
(Leaning down to speak into the mic) To post is to dream. That is my belief.
[An aide holds up a tweet printed on cardboard] And how often to you dream of "getting sucked off by the great beyond?"
(Sweating) Um... Well... That's out of context...
(Leaning down to speak into the mic) To post is to dream. That is my belief.
[An aide holds up a tweet printed on cardboard] And how often to you dream of "getting sucked off by the great beyond?"
(Sweating) Um... Well... That's out of context...
I don't think I'm dying but I've been wrong before
February 12, 2025 at 4:33 PM
I don't think I'm dying but I've been wrong before
she left me for a 55 gallon steel drum of gasoline. a damn 55 gallon steel drum of gasoline, hoss.
February 12, 2025 at 4:32 PM
she left me for a 55 gallon steel drum of gasoline. a damn 55 gallon steel drum of gasoline, hoss.
giving you my diseased heart as an act of biological terrorism
February 12, 2025 at 4:32 PM
giving you my diseased heart as an act of biological terrorism
me: why I oughta… [looks down, dejected] …stand up for myself. one day. maybe tomorrow
my wife: [finishing up strapping me to a giant rocket] You’re going to go sooo high 😃
my wife: [finishing up strapping me to a giant rocket] You’re going to go sooo high 😃
February 12, 2025 at 4:32 PM
me: why I oughta… [looks down, dejected] …stand up for myself. one day. maybe tomorrow
my wife: [finishing up strapping me to a giant rocket] You’re going to go sooo high 😃
my wife: [finishing up strapping me to a giant rocket] You’re going to go sooo high 😃