Fake Robert Kennedy Jr.
@fakerfkjr.bsky.social
Number 3 in the 2024 election, but #1 in your heart. Follow me for helpful healthy advice!
Parody Account.
Parody Account.
Reposted by Fake Robert Kennedy Jr.
Does he even own a suit?
November 19, 2025 at 12:03 AM
Does he even own a suit?
Why isn’t the liberal media pointing out that Jeffrey Epstein is really Andre the Giant?
September 9, 2025 at 10:59 PM
Why isn’t the liberal media pointing out that Jeffrey Epstein is really Andre the Giant?
When I was a boy, if someone didn’t shit in the lake, we weren’t swimming in it.
It builds character.
It builds character.
RFK Jr. celebrated on Sunday by taking shirtless selfies and swimming in an E. coli-ridden, sewage-infested creek where swimming, notably, has been banned by the National Park Service, thanks to the whole...poop water issue.
RFK Jr. Took His Grandkids for a Dip in a Sewage-Contaminated Creek For Mother’s Day
The National Park Service bans swimming in Rock Creek due to “high levels of bacteria.”
www.vanityfair.com
May 12, 2025 at 7:53 PM
When I was a boy, if someone didn’t shit in the lake, we weren’t swimming in it.
It builds character.
It builds character.
I’m not antivax. I’m pro-virus. Get it straight.
May 8, 2025 at 5:14 PM
I’m not antivax. I’m pro-virus. Get it straight.
It’s appalling how many autistic draws on society we have that can’t get laid. I’m getting to the bottom of it, and Cheryl has agreed to personally give every autist a hummer with her fish mouth.
Make America less autistic virgin again!
Make America less autistic virgin again!
April 17, 2025 at 3:09 AM
It’s appalling how many autistic draws on society we have that can’t get laid. I’m getting to the bottom of it, and Cheryl has agreed to personally give every autist a hummer with her fish mouth.
Make America less autistic virgin again!
Make America less autistic virgin again!
You know how I’d fix this? The same way I did when my gardener said that urine doesn’t help fig trees grow…I fired him. Turns out he was right - but that’s not the point here.
Fire the NSA!
Fire the NSA!
🚨 CBS News has received an internal NSA bulletin from Feb 2025 warning staff NOT to use Signal app for sensitive info, citing vulnerabilities to Russian hackers. These docs were sent pre-Houthi chat scandal with Jeffrey Goldberg.
NSA warned of vulnerabilities in Signal app a month before Houthi strike chat
The National Security Agency sent a bulletin in February warning of Russian hackers trying to access encrypted conversations on Signal.
www.cbsnews.com
March 25, 2025 at 10:47 PM
You know how I’d fix this? The same way I did when my gardener said that urine doesn’t help fig trees grow…I fired him. Turns out he was right - but that’s not the point here.
Fire the NSA!
Fire the NSA!
I’m very excited to announce that I’ll be performing the proctological exam - and I’ll be looking for any signs of Russian involvement.
In a statement, the White House says that President Trump will visit Walter Reed National Military Medical Center next month for his annual physical.
March 2, 2025 at 2:35 AM
I’m very excited to announce that I’ll be performing the proctological exam - and I’ll be looking for any signs of Russian involvement.
He’s just getting used to the new Gut Cleanse I’ve introduced him to.
February 28, 2025 at 6:51 PM
He’s just getting used to the new Gut Cleanse I’ve introduced him to.
Teenage vanity is another mind virus. Every kid is so concerned with what they wear and their acne.
Know what fixes acne scarring concern? Measles and Chicken Pox. Back in my day, kids looked like worn leather and healthy!
Know what fixes acne scarring concern? Measles and Chicken Pox. Back in my day, kids looked like worn leather and healthy!
February 4, 2025 at 11:42 PM
Teenage vanity is another mind virus. Every kid is so concerned with what they wear and their acne.
Know what fixes acne scarring concern? Measles and Chicken Pox. Back in my day, kids looked like worn leather and healthy!
Know what fixes acne scarring concern? Measles and Chicken Pox. Back in my day, kids looked like worn leather and healthy!
Bernie Sanders sounds a lot like I did when I had a worm in my brain. All this “help the poor” and “polio vaccines are good” talk is a side effect of ol’ @rfkjrbrainworm.com
February 4, 2025 at 11:38 PM
Bernie Sanders sounds a lot like I did when I had a worm in my brain. All this “help the poor” and “polio vaccines are good” talk is a side effect of ol’ @rfkjrbrainworm.com
MAHA: Make America Healthy Again!
Was America ever healthy? People in Oregon Trail didn’t get thrive of dysentery.
Before 1930, a man would sire about 10 children hoping one would survive so that, one day, you could pass along a family heirloom; like Papa Joe’s moonshine still.
Anywho, MAHa
Was America ever healthy? People in Oregon Trail didn’t get thrive of dysentery.
Before 1930, a man would sire about 10 children hoping one would survive so that, one day, you could pass along a family heirloom; like Papa Joe’s moonshine still.
Anywho, MAHa
January 23, 2025 at 5:37 AM
MAHA: Make America Healthy Again!
Was America ever healthy? People in Oregon Trail didn’t get thrive of dysentery.
Before 1930, a man would sire about 10 children hoping one would survive so that, one day, you could pass along a family heirloom; like Papa Joe’s moonshine still.
Anywho, MAHa
Was America ever healthy? People in Oregon Trail didn’t get thrive of dysentery.
Before 1930, a man would sire about 10 children hoping one would survive so that, one day, you could pass along a family heirloom; like Papa Joe’s moonshine still.
Anywho, MAHa
This is the right mindset, folks. I’d love to see Brett on defense…the Department of Defense!
The intellectual heavyweights of our time are weighing in with expert analysis.
January 4, 2025 at 8:42 PM
This is the right mindset, folks. I’d love to see Brett on defense…the Department of Defense!
Congratulations to the dentists of Stuart, Florida, for removing fluoride from their water supplies!
The timeless saying goes: “As goes Florida, so goes the nation!” We’ll see you soon, Massachusetts, and your high IQs and good teeth!
www.cbsnews.com/miami/video/...
The timeless saying goes: “As goes Florida, so goes the nation!” We’ll see you soon, Massachusetts, and your high IQs and good teeth!
www.cbsnews.com/miami/video/...
City of Stuart to remove fluoride from its drinking water
The city's commission decided to remove the mineral three days after Florida's surgeon general issued guidance on the supposed potential harmful effects of fluoride.
www.cbsnews.com
December 4, 2024 at 7:42 PM
Congratulations to the dentists of Stuart, Florida, for removing fluoride from their water supplies!
The timeless saying goes: “As goes Florida, so goes the nation!” We’ll see you soon, Massachusetts, and your high IQs and good teeth!
www.cbsnews.com/miami/video/...
The timeless saying goes: “As goes Florida, so goes the nation!” We’ll see you soon, Massachusetts, and your high IQs and good teeth!
www.cbsnews.com/miami/video/...
Raw milk is the only milk for me. Now, I don’t buy it at a store…I get ~real~ raw milk.
First, I get a cow and cut open its udders. This preserves all of the milk’s natural in-vitro nutrition, and the red colored milk is just as nature intended it!
#health #rawmilk #rfkjr
First, I get a cow and cut open its udders. This preserves all of the milk’s natural in-vitro nutrition, and the red colored milk is just as nature intended it!
#health #rawmilk #rfkjr
November 27, 2024 at 10:44 PM
Tell me, who is more qualified than I?
My qualifications for role HHS role: I’m the son of a Senator, a Kennedy, and I used to shoot heroin in the 80s. I also failed the bar and maybe introduced Polio to children in Africa.
Think of me as the civil servant version of Robert Downey Jr, circa 1994.
My qualifications for role HHS role: I’m the son of a Senator, a Kennedy, and I used to shoot heroin in the 80s. I also failed the bar and maybe introduced Polio to children in Africa.
Think of me as the civil servant version of Robert Downey Jr, circa 1994.
November 24, 2024 at 2:03 PM
Tell me, who is more qualified than I?
My qualifications for role HHS role: I’m the son of a Senator, a Kennedy, and I used to shoot heroin in the 80s. I also failed the bar and maybe introduced Polio to children in Africa.
Think of me as the civil servant version of Robert Downey Jr, circa 1994.
My qualifications for role HHS role: I’m the son of a Senator, a Kennedy, and I used to shoot heroin in the 80s. I also failed the bar and maybe introduced Polio to children in Africa.
Think of me as the civil servant version of Robert Downey Jr, circa 1994.
The Parable of Two Worms:
It is as if there are two #worms inside me; one worm is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offence when no offence was intended.
But the other worm, is full of anger. The worm you feed becomes strongest.
#twowolves #rfkjr
It is as if there are two #worms inside me; one worm is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offence when no offence was intended.
But the other worm, is full of anger. The worm you feed becomes strongest.
#twowolves #rfkjr
November 21, 2024 at 4:28 AM
The Parable of Two Worms:
It is as if there are two #worms inside me; one worm is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offence when no offence was intended.
But the other worm, is full of anger. The worm you feed becomes strongest.
#twowolves #rfkjr
It is as if there are two #worms inside me; one worm is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offence when no offence was intended.
But the other worm, is full of anger. The worm you feed becomes strongest.
#twowolves #rfkjr
While on the campaign trail, I had a head cheese and kale sandwich from a local deli. I then discovered that Boar’s Head was causing listeria.
At home, I drank two full bottles of Listerine. Wouldn’t you know it, I did not get sick AND unlike the antibiotics, my breath was minty fresh.
#rfkjr
At home, I drank two full bottles of Listerine. Wouldn’t you know it, I did not get sick AND unlike the antibiotics, my breath was minty fresh.
#rfkjr
November 19, 2024 at 8:54 PM
While on the campaign trail, I had a head cheese and kale sandwich from a local deli. I then discovered that Boar’s Head was causing listeria.
At home, I drank two full bottles of Listerine. Wouldn’t you know it, I did not get sick AND unlike the antibiotics, my breath was minty fresh.
#rfkjr
At home, I drank two full bottles of Listerine. Wouldn’t you know it, I did not get sick AND unlike the antibiotics, my breath was minty fresh.
#rfkjr
It’s clear that all of the world’s major issues developed after #vaccines became widespread.
Before vaccines, no world wars. After vaccines, two world wars; and we are on the brink of yet another!
#followthevidence #trustthefacts #rfkjr
Before vaccines, no world wars. After vaccines, two world wars; and we are on the brink of yet another!
#followthevidence #trustthefacts #rfkjr
November 18, 2024 at 6:40 PM
It’s clear that all of the world’s major issues developed after #vaccines became widespread.
Before vaccines, no world wars. After vaccines, two world wars; and we are on the brink of yet another!
#followthevidence #trustthefacts #rfkjr
Before vaccines, no world wars. After vaccines, two world wars; and we are on the brink of yet another!
#followthevidence #trustthefacts #rfkjr
A #healthy tan is the sign of virility - and no one is more virile than I am. Except for maybe this other leathery devil in this picture.
As part of my Tan America Program, tanning salons and Russian baths will be covered by #healthcare.
#rfkjr
As part of my Tan America Program, tanning salons and Russian baths will be covered by #healthcare.
#rfkjr
November 17, 2024 at 7:01 AM
A #healthy tan is the sign of virility - and no one is more virile than I am. Except for maybe this other leathery devil in this picture.
As part of my Tan America Program, tanning salons and Russian baths will be covered by #healthcare.
#rfkjr
As part of my Tan America Program, tanning salons and Russian baths will be covered by #healthcare.
#rfkjr
I don’t want to start any in-cabinet fighting, but I am not a fan of Kristi Noem. Children in America can’t afford school lunches, and she threw away perfectly good dog meat.
My government division will not stand for such privileged wasteful behavior.
My government division will not stand for such privileged wasteful behavior.
November 17, 2024 at 12:41 AM
I don’t want to start any in-cabinet fighting, but I am not a fan of Kristi Noem. Children in America can’t afford school lunches, and she threw away perfectly good dog meat.
My government division will not stand for such privileged wasteful behavior.
My government division will not stand for such privileged wasteful behavior.