“ur so funny” thanks i had 3 different step dads growing up

evergreen post

average liberal: hohoho, methinks president cheeto is in for a rude surprise when these orders hit the courts 😏

average judge: i love hitler

every time someone calls my line at work with a complaint i’m going to start saying “yeah i mean personally i’m worried about being thrown in a concentration camp, but that sounds really frustrating”

I don’t want to be smart any more I’m going to start huffing paint

i am feeling soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sad

Father John Misty is Hozier’s Waluigi

I’m going to transmit an important message to you in your sleep tonight

Telling my boss that “the kind of life I live” doesn’t involve me going to work today

Māori MPs briefly suspended the Aotearoa parliament’s attempts to reinterpret their founding treaty in the most bad ass use of the Haka I’ve ever seen.