EyalBluesky
@eyalbluesky.bsky.social
Man of High Birth
My stuff
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:pl3pwapjxti3s7ipy5yfx5uf/feed/aaaiuypso75hi
My stuff
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:pl3pwapjxti3s7ipy5yfx5uf/feed/aaaiuypso75hi
Pinned
EyalBluesky
@eyalbluesky.bsky.social
· Nov 28
Why is it called stupidity and not a total eclipse of the smart?
I stopped my car to let an old lady cross the street AND NO ONE APPLAUDED
February 26, 2025 at 9:17 PM
I stopped my car to let an old lady cross the street AND NO ONE APPLAUDED
There’s a part of me that loves juggling chainsaws, but there’s another part of me that’s completely severed.
January 22, 2025 at 8:10 PM
There’s a part of me that loves juggling chainsaws, but there’s another part of me that’s completely severed.
I shall open a daycare for dogs and cats that are expecting. It shall be called Pregnant Paws.
January 7, 2025 at 1:40 AM
I shall open a daycare for dogs and cats that are expecting. It shall be called Pregnant Paws.
Reposted by EyalBluesky
“Have you tried eating a cake?”
-Me, as a therapist.
-Me, as a therapist.
December 29, 2024 at 1:45 PM
“Have you tried eating a cake?”
-Me, as a therapist.
-Me, as a therapist.
Reposted by EyalBluesky
Chocolate cake doesn't care if I'm likable.
December 29, 2024 at 1:51 PM
Chocolate cake doesn't care if I'm likable.
Reposted by EyalBluesky
All my grudges auto-renew at the stroke of midnight. Namaste.
January 1, 2025 at 7:33 AM
All my grudges auto-renew at the stroke of midnight. Namaste.
Reposted by EyalBluesky
Day 4 of fasting. I never realized how tasty another person’s plain oatmeal smells.
January 4, 2025 at 7:58 PM
Day 4 of fasting. I never realized how tasty another person’s plain oatmeal smells.
Reposted by EyalBluesky
Later on HGTV, we’ll turn a linen closet into an affordable sex dungeon.
January 4, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Later on HGTV, we’ll turn a linen closet into an affordable sex dungeon.
Reposted by EyalBluesky
[at sperm bank]
“Do you have anything on clearance?”
“Do you have anything on clearance?”
January 4, 2025 at 10:57 PM
[at sperm bank]
“Do you have anything on clearance?”
“Do you have anything on clearance?”
Reposted by EyalBluesky
Alexa, bring out the gimp.
January 5, 2025 at 6:19 AM
Alexa, bring out the gimp.
Reposted by EyalBluesky
I know it’s been a while, but when their mouth gapes open like a snapping turtle, the important thing is to remain calm. This is just how people kiss now.
December 10, 2024 at 1:37 AM
I know it’s been a while, but when their mouth gapes open like a snapping turtle, the important thing is to remain calm. This is just how people kiss now.
Reposted by EyalBluesky
The best thing about a crockpot of feelings is it can simmer all day and be ready for mass consumption by the entire family at 6 o’clock.
December 15, 2024 at 9:03 PM
The best thing about a crockpot of feelings is it can simmer all day and be ready for mass consumption by the entire family at 6 o’clock.
Reposted by EyalBluesky
Everyone has that one insane candle in their home with the furiously twerking wick.
December 17, 2024 at 12:44 AM
Everyone has that one insane candle in their home with the furiously twerking wick.
Reposted by EyalBluesky
“Just a little midnight snack”, I whisper, knowing full well I have no concept of what time it is, what day it is, or what the words ‘little snack’ even mean.
December 17, 2024 at 1:22 AM
“Just a little midnight snack”, I whisper, knowing full well I have no concept of what time it is, what day it is, or what the words ‘little snack’ even mean.
Reposted by EyalBluesky
Always worried the full body scan security machines will detect the love I’m trying to smuggle in my heart. Like, is nothing private anymore??
December 20, 2024 at 3:09 AM
Always worried the full body scan security machines will detect the love I’m trying to smuggle in my heart. Like, is nothing private anymore??
Reposted by EyalBluesky
When she rips his shirt open in the movies, it's sexy and romantic. But when I try it, he's all "Your Pap smear is normal, but please don't do that with your toes every time".
December 21, 2024 at 1:39 AM
When she rips his shirt open in the movies, it's sexy and romantic. But when I try it, he's all "Your Pap smear is normal, but please don't do that with your toes every time".
Reposted by EyalBluesky
Him: no one will steal your identity that way
Me [disposing of old underwear by cutting it into strips like a credit card over a trashcan]: you don’t know that
Me [disposing of old underwear by cutting it into strips like a credit card over a trashcan]: you don’t know that
December 31, 2024 at 8:13 PM
Him: no one will steal your identity that way
Me [disposing of old underwear by cutting it into strips like a credit card over a trashcan]: you don’t know that
Me [disposing of old underwear by cutting it into strips like a credit card over a trashcan]: you don’t know that