esmé holden
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esmesays.bsky.social
esmé holden
@esmesays.bsky.social
i followed my dreams, and my dreams said to crawl
Reposted by esmé holden
Reclaiming the trash filmmaker and trans icon from an era that couldn’t comprehend his shape-shifting forms of self-identification.

Ed Wood Jr and the pain of pronouns: lwlies.com/in-praise-of...
Ed Wood Jr and the pain of pronouns
Reclaiming the trash filmmaker and trans icon from an era that couldn’t comprehend his shape-shifting forms of self-identification.
lwlies.com
November 4, 2025 at 10:35 AM
Reposted by esmé holden
Love this essay by @esmesays.bsky.social on a topic that gave me much cause for thought and questioning while writing my Ed Wood book
lwlies.com/in-praise-of...
Ed Wood Jr and the pain of pronouns
Reclaiming the trash filmmaker and trans icon from an era that couldn’t comprehend his shape-shifting forms of self-identification.
lwlies.com
November 4, 2025 at 1:52 PM
girl who just got fired: hi
March 14, 2025 at 7:39 PM
little esmé, a tragedy in three parts
March 2, 2025 at 12:53 AM
thanks for all the kind words and tears. i feel like i say this every other essay but this really is my most personal work yet, and it's beautiful to see that resonating with so many people.
for @lwlies.com i wrote about chantal akerman and trying to make sense of losing someone to suicide. the way we look through the things left behind like clues, to try and tell a story that makes sense of the senseless, one that we can never quite find.
lwlies.com/articles/mak...
Making Sense of Life Without Her: On Chantal Akerman
lwlies.com
February 21, 2025 at 10:30 PM
i got my hormones shot #woman
February 21, 2025 at 11:18 AM
Reposted by esmé holden
"But it feels impossible to sit in the cold indifference of death, you can’t help but scramble through what’s left behind sometimes."
for @lwlies.com i wrote about chantal akerman and trying to make sense of losing someone to suicide. the way we look through the things left behind like clues, to try and tell a story that makes sense of the senseless, one that we can never quite find.
lwlies.com/articles/mak...
Making Sense of Life Without Her: On Chantal Akerman
lwlies.com
February 21, 2025 at 11:14 AM
i wrote the programme notes for this screening tomorrow :)
February 21, 2025 at 10:17 AM
as a great lover of crying, i’m glad i can write stuff that makes some people cry
February 21, 2025 at 12:42 AM
Reposted by esmé holden
"to truly acknowledge that she was alive is to admit that she has taken her reasons with her."

- this is breathtaking, thank you for writing it Esmé
for @lwlies.com i wrote about chantal akerman and trying to make sense of losing someone to suicide. the way we look through the things left behind like clues, to try and tell a story that makes sense of the senseless, one that we can never quite find.
lwlies.com/articles/mak...
Making Sense of Life Without Her: On Chantal Akerman
lwlies.com
February 21, 2025 at 12:25 AM
great song to jam out to while awkwardly trying to shaving your legs in the shower open.spotify.com/track/3flk6L...
I Broke Up in Amarante
Los Campesinos! · Sick Scenes · Song · 2017
open.spotify.com
February 20, 2025 at 7:38 PM
sorry to my uber driver who had to listen to me drunkenly ramble to him about chantal akerman last night
February 20, 2025 at 7:32 PM
Reposted by esmé holden
wonderful piece right here:
As Chantal Akerman receives a long overdue retrospective via the BFI, Esmé Holden reflects on a personal connection to her work, and the spectre of suicide in conversations around Akerman lwlies.com/articles/mak...
Making Sense of Life Without Her: On Chantal Akerman
lwlies.com
February 20, 2025 at 5:48 PM
Reposted by esmé holden
From Holden’s article: “I couldn’t find what I was looking for; the pieces no longer seemed to fit together.”

Been feeling this way a lot recently. One of the lines in No Home Movie that has stuck with me is “I want to show that there is no more distance in the world.”
As Chantal Akerman receives a long overdue retrospective via the BFI, Esmé Holden reflects on a personal connection to her work, and the spectre of suicide in conversations around Akerman lwlies.com/articles/mak...
Making Sense of Life Without Her: On Chantal Akerman
lwlies.com
February 20, 2025 at 5:35 PM
Reposted by esmé holden
This is a really great piece and a subject that’s not oft addressed in discussions of Akerman.
As Chantal Akerman receives a long overdue retrospective via the BFI, Esmé Holden reflects on a personal connection to her work, and the spectre of suicide in conversations around Akerman lwlies.com/articles/mak...
Making Sense of Life Without Her: On Chantal Akerman
lwlies.com
February 19, 2025 at 11:37 AM
for @lwlies.com i wrote about chantal akerman and trying to make sense of losing someone to suicide. the way we look through the things left behind like clues, to try and tell a story that makes sense of the senseless, one that we can never quite find.
lwlies.com/articles/mak...
Making Sense of Life Without Her: On Chantal Akerman
lwlies.com
February 20, 2025 at 5:28 PM
Reposted by esmé holden
I'm so privileged to work with writers like Esmé who trust LWL with their stories – this is a beautiful, intimate reflection on the questions we're left with after someone dies by suicide, and the way we look for meaning in the senseless. A wonderful response to Akerman's bracing work.
As Chantal Akerman receives a long overdue retrospective via the BFI, Esmé Holden reflects on a personal connection to her work, and the spectre of suicide in conversations around Akerman lwlies.com/articles/mak...
Making Sense of Life Without Her: On Chantal Akerman
lwlies.com
February 19, 2025 at 11:30 AM