Emmett
@emmettito.bsky.social
• Full-time software engineer
• Part-time clown 🤡
• Part-time clown 🤡
Pinned
Sometimes instead of closeups of bulges and male asses, my Instagram explore page exclusively shows me food
February 19, 2026 at 3:16 AM
Sometimes instead of closeups of bulges and male asses, my Instagram explore page exclusively shows me food
Reposted by Emmett
good morning
February 18, 2026 at 3:13 PM
good morning
Every time I read “BIPOC”, my fucked up brain auto interprets it as “bisexual person of color” 😭
February 18, 2026 at 2:36 PM
Every time I read “BIPOC”, my fucked up brain auto interprets it as “bisexual person of color” 😭
Reposted by Emmett
Reposted by Emmett
find yourself a man who looks at you the way tara lipinski looks at johnny weir
February 13, 2026 at 6:00 AM
find yourself a man who looks at you the way tara lipinski looks at johnny weir
I think if I’m single by the time I’m 30, I should just call it quits 😂
I’ve asked this before, but partnered bloomfs, where did you meet your partners?
I’m tired of feeling like expired leftovers on the dating apps 💔
I’m tired of feeling like expired leftovers on the dating apps 💔
February 12, 2026 at 5:24 AM
I think if I’m single by the time I’m 30, I should just call it quits 😂
I’ve asked this before, but partnered bloomfs, where did you meet your partners?
I’m tired of feeling like expired leftovers on the dating apps 💔
I’m tired of feeling like expired leftovers on the dating apps 💔
February 12, 2026 at 4:11 AM
I’ve asked this before, but partnered bloomfs, where did you meet your partners?
I’m tired of feeling like expired leftovers on the dating apps 💔
I’m tired of feeling like expired leftovers on the dating apps 💔
Reposted by Emmett
Thinking of her today
February 8, 2026 at 8:53 PM
Thinking of her today
I have yet to type a single character into the search bar and this is what TikTok suggests for me 😭
February 6, 2026 at 2:20 AM
I have yet to type a single character into the search bar and this is what TikTok suggests for me 😭
I just woke up from a dream where I went to visit family, but I couldn’t wear any of the pants I brought because I had gained so much weight while spending time with family. Also, somehow the only underwear I brought was a bunch of jockstraps.
February 3, 2026 at 2:09 PM
I just woke up from a dream where I went to visit family, but I couldn’t wear any of the pants I brought because I had gained so much weight while spending time with family. Also, somehow the only underwear I brought was a bunch of jockstraps.
Sorry to be a hoe on a Sunday, but I could use a load inside me rn
February 2, 2026 at 12:18 AM
Sorry to be a hoe on a Sunday, but I could use a load inside me rn
Can I post something wild?
February 1, 2026 at 11:49 PM
Can I post something wild?
Goodbye to a great actress 😎
January 31, 2026 at 12:04 AM
Goodbye to a great actress 😎
Flirting with him again, but except this time I’m at Magic Kingdom and have to hide my boner from the other visitors 🫠
Flirting with this beautiful twink
January 29, 2026 at 7:24 PM
Flirting with him again, but except this time I’m at Magic Kingdom and have to hide my boner from the other visitors 🫠
Apparently there are lots of penises on snap stories when it snows 🥵
January 26, 2026 at 5:16 AM
Apparently there are lots of penises on snap stories when it snows 🥵
Currently laying over in Denver, wishing I was getting laid by the many, sexy bloomfs that live here.
January 23, 2026 at 3:28 PM
Currently laying over in Denver, wishing I was getting laid by the many, sexy bloomfs that live here.
Ok I thiiiiiiink I may have found a new pair that is similar enough shape/size-wise. I fear it might give NikkieTutorials hair reveal if they end up working out 😂
January 23, 2026 at 12:53 PM
Ok I thiiiiiiink I may have found a new pair that is similar enough shape/size-wise. I fear it might give NikkieTutorials hair reveal if they end up working out 😂
The glasses frames I’ve worn for almost a decade were discontinued, so now I’m being forced to find a new pair 😭
January 22, 2026 at 10:18 PM
The glasses frames I’ve worn for almost a decade were discontinued, so now I’m being forced to find a new pair 😭
Michael Rapaport is so fucking disgusting.
January 19, 2026 at 4:22 AM
Michael Rapaport is so fucking disgusting.
Anyone born in the 1900s should get a senior discount
January 14, 2026 at 2:45 PM
Anyone born in the 1900s should get a senior discount
Reposted by Emmett
Meanwhile in Canada
It was time to build this weekend (with LEGO).
Thanks to Ambassador Harris for the gift. Solidarity with Denmark. 🇨🇦🇩🇰
Thanks to Ambassador Harris for the gift. Solidarity with Denmark. 🇨🇦🇩🇰
January 13, 2026 at 2:50 AM
Meanwhile in Canada
The pricing is actually fucking insane
January 12, 2026 at 2:26 PM
The pricing is actually fucking insane
I was dreading going to work this week, but then I remembered that the Animal Crossing: New Horizons Nintendo Switch 2 Edition Upgrade Pack for the Nintendo Switch 2 family of systems drops this week 😱
January 12, 2026 at 5:17 AM
I was dreading going to work this week, but then I remembered that the Animal Crossing: New Horizons Nintendo Switch 2 Edition Upgrade Pack for the Nintendo Switch 2 family of systems drops this week 😱