ely kreimendahl
@elykreimendahl.bsky.social
ok ok I’m here. comic, writer, queer. @gayshamecomedy & @podshamespiral
“but you have no reason to be anxious”
bold of u to assume i need a reason
bold of u to assume i need a reason
May 18, 2025 at 2:08 PM
“but you have no reason to be anxious”
bold of u to assume i need a reason
bold of u to assume i need a reason
happy April 25 to all who celebrate
April 25, 2025 at 1:58 PM
happy April 25 to all who celebrate
Men really took the most tender, sensitive part of their body (balls) and made it synonymous with toughness and strength. adorbs
April 20, 2025 at 1:47 PM
Men really took the most tender, sensitive part of their body (balls) and made it synonymous with toughness and strength. adorbs
new oversharing substack just dropped! read & subscribe if you please 💖
April 17, 2025 at 5:46 PM
new oversharing substack just dropped! read & subscribe if you please 💖
I told my four year old I loved her and she said “I love you so much that if someone chopped your head off I’d carry it around forever in a bag”
April 16, 2025 at 10:25 PM
I told my four year old I loved her and she said “I love you so much that if someone chopped your head off I’d carry it around forever in a bag”
YES I filed my TAXES because I’m a RESPONSIBLE ADULT and an ARTIST and that’s exactly WHY when I say I FILED MY TAXES what I MEAN is I filed an EXTENSION.
again
again
April 15, 2025 at 5:27 PM
YES I filed my TAXES because I’m a RESPONSIBLE ADULT and an ARTIST and that’s exactly WHY when I say I FILED MY TAXES what I MEAN is I filed an EXTENSION.
again
again
new substack just dropped, would love you to read 💖
April 10, 2025 at 11:51 PM
new substack just dropped, would love you to read 💖
every morning when vyvanse kicks in I have a 45 min window in which I’m capable of texting back, answering emails and generally being a functional person. if u miss me in that window, sooo sorry try again tmw babe
April 9, 2025 at 2:21 PM
every morning when vyvanse kicks in I have a 45 min window in which I’m capable of texting back, answering emails and generally being a functional person. if u miss me in that window, sooo sorry try again tmw babe
me when girls get drunk & end up slurring “ive always wondered what it’d be like to kiss a woman…”
April 3, 2025 at 5:35 PM
me when girls get drunk & end up slurring “ive always wondered what it’d be like to kiss a woman…”
wish I could’ve been in the meeting where copywriter presented this on a slide deck. an icon tbh!
March 24, 2025 at 3:42 PM
wish I could’ve been in the meeting where copywriter presented this on a slide deck. an icon tbh!
Reposted by ely kreimendahl
miss her every day
2008 was crazy. you could really just throw on a gold leotard, hot pink tights and a giant statement Owl necklace and call it a night
March 7, 2025 at 4:34 AM
miss her every day
2008 was crazy. you could really just throw on a gold leotard, hot pink tights and a giant statement Owl necklace and call it a night
March 7, 2025 at 4:21 AM
2008 was crazy. you could really just throw on a gold leotard, hot pink tights and a giant statement Owl necklace and call it a night
my fellow queer & trans people: in these horrifying times, now more than EVER, it is SO important we prioritize having an unhinged amount of filthy queer sex
February 24, 2025 at 2:53 PM
my fellow queer & trans people: in these horrifying times, now more than EVER, it is SO important we prioritize having an unhinged amount of filthy queer sex
know I’m getting old bc every song playing in this dentist’s office is a goddamn BOP. counting crows, the cranberries, MGMT?!
I’ll take one unnecessary root canal, pls
I’ll take one unnecessary root canal, pls
February 21, 2025 at 3:02 PM
know I’m getting old bc every song playing in this dentist’s office is a goddamn BOP. counting crows, the cranberries, MGMT?!
I’ll take one unnecessary root canal, pls
I’ll take one unnecessary root canal, pls
marriage is hard, but we don’t talk enough about how with the right person it’s also just having a fun slutty giggly sleepover for the rest of your life
February 14, 2025 at 2:54 PM
marriage is hard, but we don’t talk enough about how with the right person it’s also just having a fun slutty giggly sleepover for the rest of your life
Kendrick’s jeans are 90s teen/ elder millennial representation
February 10, 2025 at 2:43 AM
Kendrick’s jeans are 90s teen/ elder millennial representation
gotta be honest. with everything absolutely crumbling around us…the disappearing and crashing planes situation is pushing me over the edge
February 7, 2025 at 5:24 PM
gotta be honest. with everything absolutely crumbling around us…the disappearing and crashing planes situation is pushing me over the edge
being a queer & trans family is unspeakably weird right now, because my to do list is like
1. Buy toilet paper
2. Get groceries
3. Get passports for the kids in case we need to leave the country
1. Buy toilet paper
2. Get groceries
3. Get passports for the kids in case we need to leave the country
February 1, 2025 at 4:17 PM
being a queer & trans family is unspeakably weird right now, because my to do list is like
1. Buy toilet paper
2. Get groceries
3. Get passports for the kids in case we need to leave the country
1. Buy toilet paper
2. Get groceries
3. Get passports for the kids in case we need to leave the country
I know this is terrible but return-to-office would be 1000000% better if you could vape
January 29, 2025 at 7:57 PM
I know this is terrible but return-to-office would be 1000000% better if you could vape
it’s honestly so important to bring the slutty queer vibes to the corporate hang
January 28, 2025 at 2:32 PM
it’s honestly so important to bring the slutty queer vibes to the corporate hang
trying to explain my social media job to my friend who saves lives for a living
January 26, 2025 at 2:09 PM
trying to explain my social media job to my friend who saves lives for a living
hey my husband & I saw you and your boyfriend from across the bar. we think you need couples therapy, here’s our therapist Emily’s number she rules
January 25, 2025 at 9:28 PM
hey my husband & I saw you and your boyfriend from across the bar. we think you need couples therapy, here’s our therapist Emily’s number she rules
“you’re so funny”
thanks one time in English AP
I compared Brothers Karamazov to the 90’s Sandra Bullock movie “The Net” and it became a running bit in class the entire year
thanks one time in English AP
I compared Brothers Karamazov to the 90’s Sandra Bullock movie “The Net” and it became a running bit in class the entire year
January 25, 2025 at 4:17 PM
“you’re so funny”
thanks one time in English AP
I compared Brothers Karamazov to the 90’s Sandra Bullock movie “The Net” and it became a running bit in class the entire year
thanks one time in English AP
I compared Brothers Karamazov to the 90’s Sandra Bullock movie “The Net” and it became a running bit in class the entire year
be careful what you say around kids. I don’t mean cursing I mean I just turned to my six yr old and said “this train’s so crowded” and she was like “LITERALLLLLLLY”
January 23, 2025 at 6:37 PM
be careful what you say around kids. I don’t mean cursing I mean I just turned to my six yr old and said “this train’s so crowded” and she was like “LITERALLLLLLLY”
Reposted by ely kreimendahl
ACT UP, 1990
January 20, 2025 at 7:55 PM
ACT UP, 1990