Bitchy Birder
@elusivechanteuse.bsky.social
Lifelong Moody Bitch™️
I am deficient as a parent in many ways, but my reading aloud skill is not one of them. One day my kids are gonna look back like, “She would never play pretend with me, but damn, that bitch made Elephant and Piggie sound like Royal Shakespeare.”
August 13, 2025 at 4:01 PM
I am deficient as a parent in many ways, but my reading aloud skill is not one of them. One day my kids are gonna look back like, “She would never play pretend with me, but damn, that bitch made Elephant and Piggie sound like Royal Shakespeare.”
The weekly urge to just throw out all of the mismatched socks and start fresh
June 20, 2025 at 4:13 PM
The weekly urge to just throw out all of the mismatched socks and start fresh
“Former Child Star Gets a Glow-Up” but the “glow-up” is just not being 14 anymore
May 14, 2025 at 2:04 PM
“Former Child Star Gets a Glow-Up” but the “glow-up” is just not being 14 anymore
I would rather cut myself than deadname a human, but I will never call HBO “Max” and you can’t make me, you were born Home Box Office, you can’t just pretend you’re something else, there is such a thing as objective TRUTH—
April 11, 2025 at 2:47 PM
I would rather cut myself than deadname a human, but I will never call HBO “Max” and you can’t make me, you were born Home Box Office, you can’t just pretend you’re something else, there is such a thing as objective TRUTH—
Starting the 9yo on horror movies and I’m sorry to the haters but The Village slapped then and it slaps now.
April 2, 2025 at 4:25 PM
Starting the 9yo on horror movies and I’m sorry to the haters but The Village slapped then and it slaps now.
Actually in pain today from the number of squats I did while cleaning my kids’ rooms yesterday.
March 23, 2025 at 10:53 PM
Actually in pain today from the number of squats I did while cleaning my kids’ rooms yesterday.
What is the physical sensation of going from Innie to Outie? Is it like a pee shiver? Or more like when your ears pop? Or when you release a burp you didn’t know was trapped?
February 23, 2025 at 4:48 AM
What is the physical sensation of going from Innie to Outie? Is it like a pee shiver? Or more like when your ears pop? Or when you release a burp you didn’t know was trapped?
What is the grossest chore and why is it clearing the kitchen sink drain?
February 6, 2025 at 4:06 PM
What is the grossest chore and why is it clearing the kitchen sink drain?
I… sort of loved how slow and quiet Conclave was? I love when movies take their time.
January 27, 2025 at 4:18 AM
I… sort of loved how slow and quiet Conclave was? I love when movies take their time.
Reposted by Bitchy Birder
Still one of my better pieces of writing
April 3, 2024 at 8:13 PM
Still one of my better pieces of writing
Ever since I heard Mark Ruffalo say, “You’ve been thrice-fucked by the best,” all I can think is, “Now! Try the rest!”
March 19, 2024 at 11:50 PM
Ever since I heard Mark Ruffalo say, “You’ve been thrice-fucked by the best,” all I can think is, “Now! Try the rest!”
In the kids’ area of this doctor’s waiting room there is a hardcover book that says “Jumanji,” and I kinda wanna see what the deal is, but I am really out of shape
February 14, 2024 at 4:45 PM
In the kids’ area of this doctor’s waiting room there is a hardcover book that says “Jumanji,” and I kinda wanna see what the deal is, but I am really out of shape
In other news I skipped True Detective Seasons 2 and 3 bc I could not withstand the grimness, but they got me back this season with Fiona Shaw who is being criminally underused, and Jodie Foster, who is playing a glorious asshole
February 13, 2024 at 12:28 AM
In other news I skipped True Detective Seasons 2 and 3 bc I could not withstand the grimness, but they got me back this season with Fiona Shaw who is being criminally underused, and Jodie Foster, who is playing a glorious asshole
I deactivated all my other social media because the scrolling was becoming too much, but now I’m going through SERIOUS WITHDRAWAL
February 13, 2024 at 12:26 AM
I deactivated all my other social media because the scrolling was becoming too much, but now I’m going through SERIOUS WITHDRAWAL
“Couldn’t be me”
Bitch, 100% it could, stop lying to yourself and everyone around you
Bitch, 100% it could, stop lying to yourself and everyone around you
September 21, 2023 at 3:17 PM
“Couldn’t be me”
Bitch, 100% it could, stop lying to yourself and everyone around you
Bitch, 100% it could, stop lying to yourself and everyone around you
Not sure why they call it “the pitter-patter” of little feet. It’s more like a fleshy “slap-WHOMP, slap-WHOMP”
September 9, 2023 at 9:21 PM
Not sure why they call it “the pitter-patter” of little feet. It’s more like a fleshy “slap-WHOMP, slap-WHOMP”
I’m on this thing
August 23, 2023 at 12:34 AM
I’m on this thing