Biane Denjamine
@ellsworthnews.bsky.social
Nothing good ever happens, Republicans are always right, Democrats are Satan’s Messengers who want to eat your children. Gawblesumurca. (A parody account)
Pinned
Do you hate everything and can find nothing positive in the world?
Do you take extreme pleasure in the suffering of others not like you?
Do you have an unnatural obsession with other peoples genitals and what they do with them?
You too can be a part of the McLean County Republican Party!
Do you take extreme pleasure in the suffering of others not like you?
Do you have an unnatural obsession with other peoples genitals and what they do with them?
You too can be a part of the McLean County Republican Party!
McLean County Republican Party turns its outrage on dish soap company after local Influencer of Infinite Outrage Diane Benjamin mistakenly identifies two ducks in their commercial being in a same sex relationship.
October 12, 2025 at 9:25 PM
McLean County Republican Party turns its outrage on dish soap company after local Influencer of Infinite Outrage Diane Benjamin mistakenly identifies two ducks in their commercial being in a same sex relationship.
From: ANTIFA Corporate HQ
To: Project DUMBASS Stakeholders
Re: Phase 17.3
Good news! Project DUMBASS (Division of Undercover Mockery, Bafflement, And Strategic Snark) rolls out this week.
Success signal: BN ANTIFA Shadow President Chuck Erickson will post another word-salad rant about “leftists.”
To: Project DUMBASS Stakeholders
Re: Phase 17.3
Good news! Project DUMBASS (Division of Undercover Mockery, Bafflement, And Strategic Snark) rolls out this week.
Success signal: BN ANTIFA Shadow President Chuck Erickson will post another word-salad rant about “leftists.”
September 28, 2025 at 6:57 PM
From: ANTIFA Corporate HQ
To: Project DUMBASS Stakeholders
Re: Phase 17.3
Good news! Project DUMBASS (Division of Undercover Mockery, Bafflement, And Strategic Snark) rolls out this week.
Success signal: BN ANTIFA Shadow President Chuck Erickson will post another word-salad rant about “leftists.”
To: Project DUMBASS Stakeholders
Re: Phase 17.3
Good news! Project DUMBASS (Division of Undercover Mockery, Bafflement, And Strategic Snark) rolls out this week.
Success signal: BN ANTIFA Shadow President Chuck Erickson will post another word-salad rant about “leftists.”
ANTIFA team: file your reimbursement paperwork before EOM so checks go out on time. Mr. Soros hates delays.
Also, don’t forget to check chemtrails & Portland protest signs for further instructions.
Blue team, don’t forget muffins for the staff meeting.
Also, don’t forget to check chemtrails & Portland protest signs for further instructions.
Blue team, don’t forget muffins for the staff meeting.
September 28, 2025 at 2:32 PM
ANTIFA team: file your reimbursement paperwork before EOM so checks go out on time. Mr. Soros hates delays.
Also, don’t forget to check chemtrails & Portland protest signs for further instructions.
Blue team, don’t forget muffins for the staff meeting.
Also, don’t forget to check chemtrails & Portland protest signs for further instructions.
Blue team, don’t forget muffins for the staff meeting.
Illinois Democrats cheer on Republican gov candidate Bailey. “We look forward to funding and supporting his candidacy. Again.”
Governor Pritzker denied coughing into his hand and muttering “Loser” at the announcement.
Governor Pritzker denied coughing into his hand and muttering “Loser” at the announcement.
September 25, 2025 at 9:53 PM
Illinois Democrats cheer on Republican gov candidate Bailey. “We look forward to funding and supporting his candidacy. Again.”
Governor Pritzker denied coughing into his hand and muttering “Loser” at the announcement.
Governor Pritzker denied coughing into his hand and muttering “Loser” at the announcement.
In an effort to appease MAGA pushback, Unit 5 School Board President Alex Williams proposes a curriculum change to align with MAGA priorities. Math, Reading, and Science will now be replaced with Football, Bible Study, and Marriage Prep for pre-teen girls.
September 25, 2025 at 2:28 PM
In an effort to appease MAGA pushback, Unit 5 School Board President Alex Williams proposes a curriculum change to align with MAGA priorities. Math, Reading, and Science will now be replaced with Football, Bible Study, and Marriage Prep for pre-teen girls.
Recent polls show 70% of supporters of Charlie Kirk aren’t fans; they’re just avoiding getting fired or shot by his idiotic followers.
September 20, 2025 at 6:27 PM
Recent polls show 70% of supporters of Charlie Kirk aren’t fans; they’re just avoiding getting fired or shot by his idiotic followers.
In the spirit of fairness, let’s acknowledge some truths: Charlie Kirk will be remembered both for defending the right to spew bigotry and for being a bigot himself.
Also Trump is on the Epstein list because he r*ped children
Balance achieved.
Also Trump is on the Epstein list because he r*ped children
Balance achieved.
September 20, 2025 at 6:22 PM
In the spirit of fairness, let’s acknowledge some truths: Charlie Kirk will be remembered both for defending the right to spew bigotry and for being a bigot himself.
Also Trump is on the Epstein list because he r*ped children
Balance achieved.
Also Trump is on the Epstein list because he r*ped children
Balance achieved.
Hey everyone, Diane’s feelings were hurt.
Let’s be more sensitive to the feelings of irrelevant fascist outrage fanatics who can so smoothly pivot to aggrieved Pearl-clutching victimhood. It’s gotta be hard to be so be so offended all the time.
Thoughts and prayers I guess.
Let’s be more sensitive to the feelings of irrelevant fascist outrage fanatics who can so smoothly pivot to aggrieved Pearl-clutching victimhood. It’s gotta be hard to be so be so offended all the time.
Thoughts and prayers I guess.
September 16, 2025 at 5:12 PM
Hey everyone, Diane’s feelings were hurt.
Let’s be more sensitive to the feelings of irrelevant fascist outrage fanatics who can so smoothly pivot to aggrieved Pearl-clutching victimhood. It’s gotta be hard to be so be so offended all the time.
Thoughts and prayers I guess.
Let’s be more sensitive to the feelings of irrelevant fascist outrage fanatics who can so smoothly pivot to aggrieved Pearl-clutching victimhood. It’s gotta be hard to be so be so offended all the time.
Thoughts and prayers I guess.
Local fascist hypocrite decries divisive dialogue, outs all my lovely followers to her comment section echo chamber of perpetual victimhood.
September 16, 2025 at 5:01 PM
Local fascist hypocrite decries divisive dialogue, outs all my lovely followers to her comment section echo chamber of perpetual victimhood.
Local embodiment of Christ’s love provides hit list of neighbors people should fear and target, encourages unity.
September 16, 2025 at 4:58 PM
Local embodiment of Christ’s love provides hit list of neighbors people should fear and target, encourages unity.
Let us all remember the legacy of the recently murdered First Amendment advocate by firing and threatening anyone who shares his quotes, describes his life, or acknowledges his victims.
Thoughts and prayers.
Thoughts and prayers.
September 14, 2025 at 1:40 PM
Let us all remember the legacy of the recently murdered First Amendment advocate by firing and threatening anyone who shares his quotes, describes his life, or acknowledges his victims.
Thoughts and prayers.
Thoughts and prayers.
Impressive work, WGLT. Of all the challenges facing our community, a single mom doing her job in elected office was clearly the most urgent crisis for your newsroom to tackle. Glad to see watchdog journalism alive and well.
September 8, 2025 at 5:36 AM
Impressive work, WGLT. Of all the challenges facing our community, a single mom doing her job in elected office was clearly the most urgent crisis for your newsroom to tackle. Glad to see watchdog journalism alive and well.
Since we're making fake movie posters now...
September 7, 2025 at 2:31 PM
Since we're making fake movie posters now...
Normal Mayor Chris Koos goes full-on Trump and boldly accuses County Board of wasting money on mental health. “They’ll feel better when they see our beautiful underpass. Some say it’ll be the best underpass ever.”
September 4, 2025 at 2:39 PM
Normal Mayor Chris Koos goes full-on Trump and boldly accuses County Board of wasting money on mental health. “They’ll feel better when they see our beautiful underpass. Some say it’ll be the best underpass ever.”
McGOP Announces Temporary Pause in Fear-Mongering for Labor Day
In a rare display of holiday spirit, the McGOP announced it will suspend its usual hysterical campaign of misinformation about teachers unions for exactly one day in order to march alongside educators in the annual Labor Day parade.
In a rare display of holiday spirit, the McGOP announced it will suspend its usual hysterical campaign of misinformation about teachers unions for exactly one day in order to march alongside educators in the annual Labor Day parade.
August 31, 2025 at 3:29 PM
McGOP Announces Temporary Pause in Fear-Mongering for Labor Day
In a rare display of holiday spirit, the McGOP announced it will suspend its usual hysterical campaign of misinformation about teachers unions for exactly one day in order to march alongside educators in the annual Labor Day parade.
In a rare display of holiday spirit, the McGOP announced it will suspend its usual hysterical campaign of misinformation about teachers unions for exactly one day in order to march alongside educators in the annual Labor Day parade.
Bloomington Mayor Dan Brady: I don’t understand why people don’t trust local Republicans.
McLean County Republican Party: Your pediatrician is a communist and can’t be trusted but this guy who left a dead bear in Central Park says you should give your kids horse tranquilizer & apple cider vinegar.
McLean County Republican Party: Your pediatrician is a communist and can’t be trusted but this guy who left a dead bear in Central Park says you should give your kids horse tranquilizer & apple cider vinegar.
August 31, 2025 at 1:25 PM
Bloomington Mayor Dan Brady: I don’t understand why people don’t trust local Republicans.
McLean County Republican Party: Your pediatrician is a communist and can’t be trusted but this guy who left a dead bear in Central Park says you should give your kids horse tranquilizer & apple cider vinegar.
McLean County Republican Party: Your pediatrician is a communist and can’t be trusted but this guy who left a dead bear in Central Park says you should give your kids horse tranquilizer & apple cider vinegar.
Bloomington Mayor Dan Brady: I don’t understand why people don’t trust local Republicans.
McLean County Republican Party: Kids were shot while praying but the bigger problem is that one restaurant by the highway changed its logo.
McLean County Republican Party: Kids were shot while praying but the bigger problem is that one restaurant by the highway changed its logo.
August 31, 2025 at 1:24 PM
Bloomington Mayor Dan Brady: I don’t understand why people don’t trust local Republicans.
McLean County Republican Party: Kids were shot while praying but the bigger problem is that one restaurant by the highway changed its logo.
McLean County Republican Party: Kids were shot while praying but the bigger problem is that one restaurant by the highway changed its logo.
Bloomington Mayor Dan Brady: I don’t understand why people don’t trust local Republicans.
McLean County Republicans: Democrats are forcing gender surgery on your children at school.
McLean County Republicans: Democrats are forcing gender surgery on your children at school.
August 30, 2025 at 10:51 PM
Bloomington Mayor Dan Brady: I don’t understand why people don’t trust local Republicans.
McLean County Republicans: Democrats are forcing gender surgery on your children at school.
McLean County Republicans: Democrats are forcing gender surgery on your children at school.
Bloomington Alderwoman Sheila Montney doubts your commitment to Sparkle Motion.
August 30, 2025 at 4:40 PM
Bloomington Alderwoman Sheila Montney doubts your commitment to Sparkle Motion.
Mayor Brady boldly straddles the fence and coddles his fascist base while lecturing progressives about needing to be a leader for all, including n**is.
August 26, 2025 at 12:50 AM
Mayor Brady boldly straddles the fence and coddles his fascist base while lecturing progressives about needing to be a leader for all, including n**is.
Bloomington Alderwoman Sheila Montney and her parade of East Side NIMBY McMansion Dwellers achieve new levels of sanctimonius outrage at the possibilty of new residential development in their beloved adjacent cornfield.
“The housing crisis is a myth because I have a house and so do my neighbors.”
“The housing crisis is a myth because I have a house and so do my neighbors.”
August 24, 2025 at 2:59 AM
Bloomington Alderwoman Sheila Montney and her parade of East Side NIMBY McMansion Dwellers achieve new levels of sanctimonius outrage at the possibilty of new residential development in their beloved adjacent cornfield.
“The housing crisis is a myth because I have a house and so do my neighbors.”
“The housing crisis is a myth because I have a house and so do my neighbors.”
Congratulations to Bloomington Mayor Brady on his tireless outreach efforts to appeal to all voters! Your coddling of violent fascists
has really paid off.
has really paid off.
August 17, 2025 at 7:59 PM
Congratulations to Bloomington Mayor Brady on his tireless outreach efforts to appeal to all voters! Your coddling of violent fascists
has really paid off.
has really paid off.
Former President Lincoln's press office issued a surprise statement today in response to local Republican's claims that "LinCoLN wUz a rEpUbLiCuN juSt liKe mEh"
"Yeah, I ended enslavement and held the country together so Greg from the HOA could yell about immigrants at the school board meeting.
"Yeah, I ended enslavement and held the country together so Greg from the HOA could yell about immigrants at the school board meeting.
August 16, 2025 at 2:49 PM
Former President Lincoln's press office issued a surprise statement today in response to local Republican's claims that "LinCoLN wUz a rEpUbLiCuN juSt liKe mEh"
"Yeah, I ended enslavement and held the country together so Greg from the HOA could yell about immigrants at the school board meeting.
"Yeah, I ended enslavement and held the country together so Greg from the HOA could yell about immigrants at the school board meeting.
Local math still undefeated:
🏠 ‘I want my property values to stay artificially inflated!’
💸 ‘…but my property taxes better go down, way down.’
Translation: I want to own beachfront property in Malibu, pay 1992 prices, and complain when potholes don’t fix themselves. 😂
🏠 ‘I want my property values to stay artificially inflated!’
💸 ‘…but my property taxes better go down, way down.’
Translation: I want to own beachfront property in Malibu, pay 1992 prices, and complain when potholes don’t fix themselves. 😂
August 16, 2025 at 2:06 PM
Local math still undefeated:
🏠 ‘I want my property values to stay artificially inflated!’
💸 ‘…but my property taxes better go down, way down.’
Translation: I want to own beachfront property in Malibu, pay 1992 prices, and complain when potholes don’t fix themselves. 😂
🏠 ‘I want my property values to stay artificially inflated!’
💸 ‘…but my property taxes better go down, way down.’
Translation: I want to own beachfront property in Malibu, pay 1992 prices, and complain when potholes don’t fix themselves. 😂
Unconfirmed reports of Mayor Chris Koos attempting to force choke the county board into submission. When asked for a response, Mayor Koos said, “I found their lack of faith disturbing.”
August 12, 2025 at 2:19 AM
Unconfirmed reports of Mayor Chris Koos attempting to force choke the county board into submission. When asked for a response, Mayor Koos said, “I found their lack of faith disturbing.”