Danimal
@dftrose.bsky.social
They’ll have to pry my posts from my cold, dead hands
Maybe the real rapture was the friends we made along the way
September 23, 2025 at 5:48 PM
Maybe the real rapture was the friends we made along the way
Google I don’t care if a dog SHOULD drink Diet Coke I want to know if a dog CAN
September 2, 2025 at 1:03 AM
Google I don’t care if a dog SHOULD drink Diet Coke I want to know if a dog CAN
Let him cook
August 29, 2025 at 1:25 PM
Let him cook
The guy punching you in the dick is just a distraction from Cracker Barrel don’t fall for it
August 22, 2025 at 5:57 PM
The guy punching you in the dick is just a distraction from Cracker Barrel don’t fall for it
Dude looks like he lives in Whoville
ChatGPT is still a bullshit machine
ChatGPT Is Still a Bullshit Machine
CEO Sam Altman says it's like having a superpower, but GPT-5 struggles with basic questions.
gizmodo.com
August 8, 2025 at 9:10 PM
Dude looks like he lives in Whoville
She Rum Tum on my Tugger til I Jellicle Ball
June 29, 2025 at 4:14 AM
She Rum Tum on my Tugger til I Jellicle Ball
Like Van Gogh, once I die the greatness of my posts will be recognized
June 11, 2025 at 10:47 PM
Like Van Gogh, once I die the greatness of my posts will be recognized
Deep dish is now an acceptable Eucharist
May 8, 2025 at 5:35 PM
Deep dish is now an acceptable Eucharist
Cardinals if you elect me pope I promise I’ll start going to mass again
May 7, 2025 at 2:06 PM
Cardinals if you elect me pope I promise I’ll start going to mass again
(Guy who invented photosynthesis): I refuse to eat food with chemicals in it
April 30, 2025 at 8:37 PM
(Guy who invented photosynthesis): I refuse to eat food with chemicals in it
(Jesus’s coworker): Hey Jesus get up to anything this weekend?
April 21, 2025 at 1:19 PM
(Jesus’s coworker): Hey Jesus get up to anything this weekend?
Reposted by Danimal
If you can't do this in the Oblivion remaster/remake. Then I don't want it.
April 17, 2025 at 2:44 PM
If you can't do this in the Oblivion remaster/remake. Then I don't want it.
There’s no such thing as a suicide fruit that’s just what happens when you use a dirty blender
April 8, 2025 at 7:34 PM
There’s no such thing as a suicide fruit that’s just what happens when you use a dirty blender
Rizzle me this, GYATT-Man!
March 30, 2025 at 4:16 AM
Rizzle me this, GYATT-Man!
I’m committed to two things in this life: my wife, and the bit.
March 28, 2025 at 5:41 PM
I’m committed to two things in this life: my wife, and the bit.
Hey boss, I know the severed floor’s dress code is business formal, but I’m coming home covered in goat shit every day. Is there anyway I could wear jeans?
March 24, 2025 at 7:13 PM
Hey boss, I know the severed floor’s dress code is business formal, but I’m coming home covered in goat shit every day. Is there anyway I could wear jeans?
“Hey, what should we name this fossil? I’m thinking Gay Boner.”
“What? No.”
“Ok how about…”
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homo_er...
“What? No.”
“Ok how about…”
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homo_er...
Homo erectus - Wikipedia
en.m.wikipedia.org
March 10, 2025 at 2:40 PM
“Hey, what should we name this fossil? I’m thinking Gay Boner.”
“What? No.”
“Ok how about…”
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homo_er...
“What? No.”
“Ok how about…”
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homo_er...
Can the democratic leadership explain to me why congresspeople need to respect the president when the president doesn’t respect congress? Feel free to use those little signs
March 5, 2025 at 7:02 PM
Can the democratic leadership explain to me why congresspeople need to respect the president when the president doesn’t respect congress? Feel free to use those little signs
The three things you can monger are fish, cheese, and war.
February 28, 2025 at 1:30 AM
The three things you can monger are fish, cheese, and war.
Reposted by Danimal
Me: Everything is so awful. Am I going to lose my healthcare? Should I be leaving the country?
The microplastic spoon in my brain: Be still, my child. Be calm. Send another email. Drink a Diet Coke. Watch The White Lotus Sundays at 9.
The microplastic spoon in my brain: Be still, my child. Be calm. Send another email. Drink a Diet Coke. Watch The White Lotus Sundays at 9.
February 27, 2025 at 1:22 PM
Me: Everything is so awful. Am I going to lose my healthcare? Should I be leaving the country?
The microplastic spoon in my brain: Be still, my child. Be calm. Send another email. Drink a Diet Coke. Watch The White Lotus Sundays at 9.
The microplastic spoon in my brain: Be still, my child. Be calm. Send another email. Drink a Diet Coke. Watch The White Lotus Sundays at 9.
Can’t wait for my social security to be distributed through X, the Everything App
February 7, 2025 at 8:54 PM
Can’t wait for my social security to be distributed through X, the Everything App
Really hoping we just have a Microplastics Georg situation
February 7, 2025 at 3:29 PM
Really hoping we just have a Microplastics Georg situation
If I was a severance innie I would simply get fired, problem solved.
February 1, 2025 at 4:14 PM
If I was a severance innie I would simply get fired, problem solved.
Feels great to lie to your doctor about how much you exercise and still have her respond “you should exercise more”
January 29, 2025 at 4:51 AM
Feels great to lie to your doctor about how much you exercise and still have her respond “you should exercise more”
(Getting sent to hell but it’s Chinese) OH GOD THIS IS AWFUL …….but not because it’s Chinese!
January 14, 2025 at 5:53 PM
(Getting sent to hell but it’s Chinese) OH GOD THIS IS AWFUL …….but not because it’s Chinese!