desqry
banner
desqry.bsky.social
desqry
@desqry.bsky.social
this page is for Evil Data engineers only!!!!!! benevolent data engineers DO NOT TOUCH!
Pinned
when I die it will be after logging in to Microsoft Support Community to drown in the boiling Gore of my enemies
#duckdb users on this app all post like they're in the same prayer room wearing robes and chanting. why are they putting out release info like it's a cryptic ARG where I have to uncover some cosmic horror? i bet motherduck is actually a front to summon a large Flesh Sphere
March 10, 2025 at 4:55 PM
SICK AND TIRED of these "0 slide" meetups on #databs!! join my 120-slide meetup where we huddle around a Kodak carousel instead. and don't ask me for a link!, the address will be in the newspaper classifieds
February 14, 2025 at 12:03 AM
MADNESS MADE FLESH IF NOT EXTANT AS
MANIFEST
GNAWING HUNGER
, INEFFABLE HIDEOUSNESS
FROM WHENCE IT CAME
February 7, 2025 at 8:58 PM
The Future, from #databs #datasky AI slopposters:
computer, can you load up the "data" please? now just give me a machine learning model for "optimize money". save and publish. now please generate a slide deck on money go up -- 4k, Artstation, anime, highly detailed
February 6, 2025 at 6:28 PM
i usually post just trash like a little RAT but today im a "Link Poster" cause if this package dies I will probably cry about it arilamstein.com/blog/2025/02... #r #rstudio #rstats #StatsSky
Choroplethr is Scheduled to be Archived from CRAN
I was just notified by CRAN that choroplethr is scheduled to be archived on February 12. The reason is that choroplethr depends on the acs package, and the acs package is being archived. Apparently…
arilamstein.com
February 6, 2025 at 3:01 AM
im archiving terabytes of gov data today, but also looping through every .xlsx with openpyxl to convert their styles to Comic Sans. this maintains my net-zero karma policy #databs
February 1, 2025 at 2:54 AM
how i feel reading the docs: ah, i have unearthed magnificent erudition, with calloused fingers and bloody palms. my back aches, yet, my mind is strengthened.

vs asking a question: umm 🥺 pwease hewp me i broke my wittle babby code :(((
January 24, 2025 at 5:27 PM
I will never understand the interinfluence of b2b SaaS content writers posting like blogger-skinwalkers, then industry bloggers turning around to emulate SaaS slop for their promotional summaries
January 23, 2025 at 4:43 PM
data tags #databs #datasky #dataengineering have rapidly become an inordinate Wall of Brands, and this encroachment will not stand. the fellowship of shitposters must light the darkness, until these devils are remanded to their abyss (linkedin)
January 22, 2025 at 10:25 PM
agreed. I have trained since birth to annihilate any code I see. yesterday I cloned and deleted #nixos pkgs 27 times. you can do it for free and the cops can't stop you
The best code is no code at all.

The best database is no database (infrastructure) at all.

#databs
January 22, 2025 at 6:19 PM
LGTM? haha, yes, this foolish mortal uttered the sacred phrase. my plan to immolate Prod is almost complete. once more careless eyes gaze upon my heretical branch: once more blood soaks the soil, feeding the Evil therein. complete this PR and bring ruin to your diminutive kingdom
January 22, 2025 at 6:02 PM
naming my #databs dev environment after the necronomicon cause it is full of eldritch terrors and madness grasps anyone who dare read the code within. the mind cannot hope to withstand such an assault
January 21, 2025 at 11:51 PM
I do not want "engagement" on this Web Site. I want precisely one user per month to stumble across these mad scrawlings and feel like they've entered a crime scene by accident,, or contracted a curse
January 17, 2025 at 6:53 PM
you gotta stop playing with me man. I should not be allowed anywhere near this data warehouse. my code reads like a demented grimoire. my dags are ten billion gnarled fingers grasping at smoke. I should be sealed away in the moon for my crimes against cloud computing
December 23, 2024 at 6:06 PM
if you work in #databs long enough your eyes eventually turn milky white and you are granted the clairvoyant ability to see the precise time of death of any dashboard you gaze upon
December 23, 2024 at 5:33 PM
lots of #dataBS nerds build pipelines cause it makes them "engineers" who "get paid" with "money". I do it cause I only belong in the sewer where the pipes are like a filthy little RAT
December 18, 2024 at 4:08 PM
during your next #databs standup please lead a prayer to the innumerable Mass of Bees that run compute in our google cloud centers 🙏
December 10, 2024 at 10:31 PM
when I die it will be after logging in to Microsoft Support Community to drown in the boiling Gore of my enemies
December 10, 2024 at 5:51 PM
#databs thrilled to share I have accepted a new role where I will be wandering through the data warehouse as a Blind Idiot God, leaving a trail of n rows affected from whence I devour, and deleting Tableau dashboards at random.
December 3, 2024 at 3:35 PM
frolicked too hard and ended up in the Cursed Micropartition again :(
December 2, 2024 at 4:56 PM
all of my schemas are evil. all my tables are nefarious. I write only in Spiteful Query Language. I hit that compute so erroneous the authorities want me dead. they will never catch me
November 27, 2024 at 10:35 PM
#databs tip: I don't use AI, docs, or stackoverflow when I have SQL questions. Instead, I shoved 80k lines worth of scripts into a folder named "The Great Old One" and just use grep to receive Its primordial whispers
November 26, 2024 at 10:58 PM
I will never forgive IBM for fumbling the T in ETL, because it could have been Transmute
November 26, 2024 at 7:32 PM
gonna replace WHERE 1=1 with 1!=2 to measure how apathetic my peer reviewers are
November 25, 2024 at 11:29 PM
ctrl c ctrl v #databs
November 22, 2024 at 6:35 PM