Derek Sheen
@dereksheen.bsky.social
Comedian, actor, writer, musician and pretty great in the kitchen. My new solo show "MotherL*ver" is coming soon to a town near you. Check out my albums on Apple Music and Spotify! You can find out all about me here: https://linktr.ee/dereksheen
I’ve watched Trump eat several Big Macs. If he DID go down on Bill Clinton, I’d hazard a guess that his ‘technique’ was more “Joey Chestnut” and less “Nina Hartley”.
November 15, 2025 at 3:53 AM
I’ve watched Trump eat several Big Macs. If he DID go down on Bill Clinton, I’d hazard a guess that his ‘technique’ was more “Joey Chestnut” and less “Nina Hartley”.
The fact that I’m on MTG’s side is causing me to break out in hives. Did I die? Is this purgatory?
Marge Greene comes back at Trump throwing haymakers. 🍿
November 15, 2025 at 3:43 AM
The fact that I’m on MTG’s side is causing me to break out in hives. Did I die? Is this purgatory?
Reposted by Derek Sheen
Burns: The Old Testament says there’s nothing new under the sun. On July 4th, 1776, there was. Everybody up to that point had been under authoritarian rule. It was in the interests of their rulers that they be uneducated, that they be superstitious, that they be distracted by conspiracies…
November 14, 2025 at 9:45 PM
Burns: The Old Testament says there’s nothing new under the sun. On July 4th, 1776, there was. Everybody up to that point had been under authoritarian rule. It was in the interests of their rulers that they be uneducated, that they be superstitious, that they be distracted by conspiracies…
Reposted by Derek Sheen
Whatever Trump is desperately covering up about Epstein, it’s clearly so bad that he thinks it could destroy him
November 15, 2025 at 1:02 AM
Whatever Trump is desperately covering up about Epstein, it’s clearly so bad that he thinks it could destroy him
I love that Olivia Nuzzi fucked the human equivalent of strep throat and THAT’S what she’ll be remembered for.
I love that for her.
I love that for her.
November 15, 2025 at 3:14 AM
I love that Olivia Nuzzi fucked the human equivalent of strep throat and THAT’S what she’ll be remembered for.
I love that for her.
I love that for her.
Conservatives a year ago: "Release the Files!"
Conservatives today: "Look, there's a big difference between raping a child and raping an older child. If anything, those girls are lucky that Trump took their virginity so they can't be sacrificed to Baphomet in the Comet Ping Pong basement!"
Conservatives today: "Look, there's a big difference between raping a child and raping an older child. If anything, those girls are lucky that Trump took their virginity so they can't be sacrificed to Baphomet in the Comet Ping Pong basement!"
November 15, 2025 at 2:38 AM
Conservatives a year ago: "Release the Files!"
Conservatives today: "Look, there's a big difference between raping a child and raping an older child. If anything, those girls are lucky that Trump took their virginity so they can't be sacrificed to Baphomet in the Comet Ping Pong basement!"
Conservatives today: "Look, there's a big difference between raping a child and raping an older child. If anything, those girls are lucky that Trump took their virginity so they can't be sacrificed to Baphomet in the Comet Ping Pong basement!"
I was banned from Twitter for telling MAGA Todd Starnes, who called for shooting Muslims in the streets, I would gift him a bullet for every stair he could climb without wheezing. Twitter said it was body shaming and a threat. The Left will always eat their own for performative allyship points.
November 14, 2025 at 6:56 PM
I was banned from Twitter for telling MAGA Todd Starnes, who called for shooting Muslims in the streets, I would gift him a bullet for every stair he could climb without wheezing. Twitter said it was body shaming and a threat. The Left will always eat their own for performative allyship points.
Man, fuck this piece of shit.
(eats a Snickers…feels the same)
(eats a Snickers…feels the same)
Sean Duffy threatens "action" against air traffic controllers who didn't come to work during the shutdown: "I'm concerned about their patriotism."
November 11, 2025 at 11:55 PM
Man, fuck this piece of shit.
(eats a Snickers…feels the same)
(eats a Snickers…feels the same)
Reposted by Derek Sheen
AOC should announce tonight
November 10, 2025 at 2:30 AM
AOC should announce tonight
Useless. Every single one of them.
If Chuck Schumer was a stronger leader, he would have been able to convince most of these senators to hold the line.
I’m terribly disappointed in him.
I’m terribly disappointed in him.
November 10, 2025 at 2:44 AM
Useless. Every single one of them.
That’s it. I’m all done. I will never vote Democrat or donate to a Democrat cause ever again. The party is cooked. I’m out. @housedemocrats.bsky.social
Dems backed Trump into a corner where he’s advocating for starving Americans and hemorrhaging support. If they vote to let him off the hook in exchange for nothing it’s a cataclysmic failure. I know people are in pain but insulating Republicans from political consequences is not the answer.
November 10, 2025 at 2:19 AM
That’s it. I’m all done. I will never vote Democrat or donate to a Democrat cause ever again. The party is cooked. I’m out. @housedemocrats.bsky.social
For my New York friends who haven’t voted yet: never forget that Zohran Mamdami was only nine years old when he flew those planes into the World Trade Center.
November 4, 2025 at 10:51 PM
For my New York friends who haven’t voted yet: never forget that Zohran Mamdami was only nine years old when he flew those planes into the World Trade Center.
Dick Cheney’s up in Heaven now, shooting Jimi Hendrix and John Lennon in the face.
November 4, 2025 at 8:35 PM
Dick Cheney’s up in Heaven now, shooting Jimi Hendrix and John Lennon in the face.
“He can’t be a Nazi. He’s Jewish.”
Oh honey. It’s the 21st century. Anyone can be whatever they want to be.
Oh honey. It’s the 21st century. Anyone can be whatever they want to be.
November 4, 2025 at 8:39 AM
“He can’t be a Nazi. He’s Jewish.”
Oh honey. It’s the 21st century. Anyone can be whatever they want to be.
Oh honey. It’s the 21st century. Anyone can be whatever they want to be.
I kinda hope this all ends with somebody force feeding Mike Johnson his own jewelry and cash before pushing him into a crowd of starving people and yelling “THERE’S MONEY INSIDE OF HIM!”.
Q: SNAP has never out of funding in its history. Why were past administration able to find funding to keep it afloat during a shutdown & you can't?
ROLLINS: Under Joe Biden, you see an almost 30% increase in the cost of the SNAP program. The goal of these program is to move families into real work
ROLLINS: Under Joe Biden, you see an almost 30% increase in the cost of the SNAP program. The goal of these program is to move families into real work
November 1, 2025 at 7:42 AM
I kinda hope this all ends with somebody force feeding Mike Johnson his own jewelry and cash before pushing him into a crowd of starving people and yelling “THERE’S MONEY INSIDE OF HIM!”.
Hide the Ketchup
Powell: "In the near term, risks to inflation are tilted to the upside, and risks to employment to the downside -- a challenging situation. There is no risk-free path for policy as we navigate this tension between our employment and inflation goals."
October 29, 2025 at 6:40 PM
Hide the Ketchup
"America First"
October 28, 2025 at 5:11 PM
"America First"
It's not a bug, it's a feature...of actual white supremacists and neo-Nazis who've been trying to infiltrate our government, to legitimize their movement, for years. I mean, c'mon, that haircut screams racial epithets at babies.
Here is Gregory Bovino, the man in charge of ICE agents in Chicago.
October 28, 2025 at 4:52 PM
It's not a bug, it's a feature...of actual white supremacists and neo-Nazis who've been trying to infiltrate our government, to legitimize their movement, for years. I mean, c'mon, that haircut screams racial epithets at babies.
You guys remember that episode of the Twilight Zone where the world is reduced to rubble in a nuclear holocaust and the lone survivor is all, “I finally have time enough at last to try a buttplug without embarrassment or judgement!” and then he falls and breaks his only ass?
Weird episode.
Weird episode.
October 27, 2025 at 8:53 AM
You guys remember that episode of the Twilight Zone where the world is reduced to rubble in a nuclear holocaust and the lone survivor is all, “I finally have time enough at last to try a buttplug without embarrassment or judgement!” and then he falls and breaks his only ass?
Weird episode.
Weird episode.
Funny, because I consider myself a bit of a billionaire economist myself.
Bessent on American farmers being hurt by tariffs: "Martha, in case you don't know it, I'm actually a soybean farmer, so I have felt this pain too."
October 26, 2025 at 6:06 PM
Funny, because I consider myself a bit of a billionaire economist myself.
A master what now?…
WELKER: Why didn't the president tell the public he was going to tear down the entire East Wing, which as you know is part of the people's house?
BESSENT: Well, I think this was a judgment call on the president. The president is a master builder. It could've been asbestos. It could've been mold.
BESSENT: Well, I think this was a judgment call on the president. The president is a master builder. It could've been asbestos. It could've been mold.
October 26, 2025 at 5:59 PM
A master what now?…
What’s Stephen Miller’s favorite game?
Nahtzee!!
Nahtzee!!
Stephen Miller: "The scandal is how Democrats & the left scarred the landscape of our country w/grotesque so-called modern art that celebrates ugliness ... very importantly, President Trump is making sure it's in the neo-classical design around which our nation's architecture has long been directed"
October 25, 2025 at 1:02 AM
What’s Stephen Miller’s favorite game?
Nahtzee!!
Nahtzee!!
I don’t know anyone on the left who is afraid of retaliation or retribution by their own side. But I can point to a LOT of people on the right who live in abject fear of pissing off members their of their own base.
It’s always projection with these them: the calls are coming from inside the house.
It’s always projection with these them: the calls are coming from inside the house.
Q: Getting back to the Jeffries threat, this is one of a number of J6 pardons that's been rearrested. Did Trump make a mistake?
JOHNSON: I don't know any of the details. I'll tell you the violence on the left is far more prevalent than on the right. The rhetoric that you saw Saturday plays into it
JOHNSON: I don't know any of the details. I'll tell you the violence on the left is far more prevalent than on the right. The rhetoric that you saw Saturday plays into it
October 21, 2025 at 4:47 PM
I don’t know anyone on the left who is afraid of retaliation or retribution by their own side. But I can point to a LOT of people on the right who live in abject fear of pissing off members their of their own base.
It’s always projection with these them: the calls are coming from inside the house.
It’s always projection with these them: the calls are coming from inside the house.