Danyool
@danyool.bsky.social
Cannelloni ready meal and roast potatoes for dinner. Fuck it.
February 11, 2026 at 9:09 PM
Cannelloni ready meal and roast potatoes for dinner. Fuck it.
It's cold outside
There's no kind of atmosphere
I'm all alone
More or less
There's no kind of atmosphere
I'm all alone
More or less
February 9, 2026 at 11:13 AM
It's cold outside
There's no kind of atmosphere
I'm all alone
More or less
There's no kind of atmosphere
I'm all alone
More or less
My mum was telling us about a friend hers. "Sue's got immaculate... erm..."
"Immaculate what?"
"Immaculate... you know. Of the eyes."
"Macular degeneration?"
"Yes."
"Oh."
"Immaculate what?"
"Immaculate... you know. Of the eyes."
"Macular degeneration?"
"Yes."
"Oh."
February 8, 2026 at 8:17 PM
My mum was telling us about a friend hers. "Sue's got immaculate... erm..."
"Immaculate what?"
"Immaculate... you know. Of the eyes."
"Macular degeneration?"
"Yes."
"Oh."
"Immaculate what?"
"Immaculate... you know. Of the eyes."
"Macular degeneration?"
"Yes."
"Oh."
Making glazed mini waffles and drinking vodka tonnyx like some sort of dangerously unregulated production line
February 7, 2026 at 7:47 PM
Making glazed mini waffles and drinking vodka tonnyx like some sort of dangerously unregulated production line
I'm in recovery after an enormous bowl of singapore noodles. Feeling better but not out of the woods yet
February 6, 2026 at 9:23 PM
I'm in recovery after an enormous bowl of singapore noodles. Feeling better but not out of the woods yet
Just donated to a colleague's fundraiser in the hope that they'll see my name pop up and it'll remind them that they haven't responded to my email
February 6, 2026 at 4:55 PM
Just donated to a colleague's fundraiser in the hope that they'll see my name pop up and it'll remind them that they haven't responded to my email
When Arthur is jonesing for scritches he'll sometimes stand on two legs so he can grab my hand. I've taken to calling him "Australopithecat" whenever he does this
Oh we do have a laugh here at Ripley Towers!
Oh we do have a laugh here at Ripley Towers!
February 5, 2026 at 2:35 PM
When Arthur is jonesing for scritches he'll sometimes stand on two legs so he can grab my hand. I've taken to calling him "Australopithecat" whenever he does this
Oh we do have a laugh here at Ripley Towers!
Oh we do have a laugh here at Ripley Towers!
My mate who's in a ukulele choir has given me one of his spare ukuleles. I'm holding it on the tube, opposite a man who's holding a terrarium he made in a terrarium workshop. London, eh? Bloody hell.
February 4, 2026 at 11:02 PM
My mate who's in a ukulele choir has given me one of his spare ukuleles. I'm holding it on the tube, opposite a man who's holding a terrarium he made in a terrarium workshop. London, eh? Bloody hell.
Every time I go round to see one of my mates, he texts me his address. I've gone there many times over many years. Might stop going if he doesn't pack it in.
February 4, 2026 at 6:11 PM
Every time I go round to see one of my mates, he texts me his address. I've gone there many times over many years. Might stop going if he doesn't pack it in.
I'm sitting at a desk normally used by a contact centre adviser, and she's got a note on her phone that says "Remember to log in and DO NOT STUTTER". Devastating. Heart's broken, lads. Kaput
February 4, 2026 at 10:38 AM
I'm sitting at a desk normally used by a contact centre adviser, and she's got a note on her phone that says "Remember to log in and DO NOT STUTTER". Devastating. Heart's broken, lads. Kaput
There's a nasty rumour going around that I'm in the Epstein files. This is completely false, and is a misunderstanding based on my appearance as "Steam Man" in the X-Files (Season 2 Episode 4: Mulder Meets the Steam Man)
February 3, 2026 at 5:46 PM
There's a nasty rumour going around that I'm in the Epstein files. This is completely false, and is a misunderstanding based on my appearance as "Steam Man" in the X-Files (Season 2 Episode 4: Mulder Meets the Steam Man)
Ate my dinner while standing in the kitchen again
February 2, 2026 at 9:04 PM
Ate my dinner while standing in the kitchen again
My favourite aspect of birding is staying in one spot until my mind and body slows down enough to match the rhythm of my surroundings, and then just noticing things.
Maybe the real treasure was not the birds I saw, but the micro-oscillations of the universe I tuned into along the way
Maybe the real treasure was not the birds I saw, but the micro-oscillations of the universe I tuned into along the way
February 1, 2026 at 8:54 PM
My favourite aspect of birding is staying in one spot until my mind and body slows down enough to match the rhythm of my surroundings, and then just noticing things.
Maybe the real treasure was not the birds I saw, but the micro-oscillations of the universe I tuned into along the way
Maybe the real treasure was not the birds I saw, but the micro-oscillations of the universe I tuned into along the way
People at the Greggs in Canary Wharf keep forming a single line when the space is designed for multiple lines, and I keep ignoring it and sensing the hateful looks as I get my breakfast.
I've been rehearsing my reply for if someone were to have a pop at me, which I'm sure will go perfectly fine.
I've been rehearsing my reply for if someone were to have a pop at me, which I'm sure will go perfectly fine.
February 1, 2026 at 11:57 AM
People at the Greggs in Canary Wharf keep forming a single line when the space is designed for multiple lines, and I keep ignoring it and sensing the hateful looks as I get my breakfast.
I've been rehearsing my reply for if someone were to have a pop at me, which I'm sure will go perfectly fine.
I've been rehearsing my reply for if someone were to have a pop at me, which I'm sure will go perfectly fine.
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor will have to rebrand again.
May I suggest, simply:
Andrew™
May I suggest, simply:
Andrew™
January 31, 2026 at 5:30 PM
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor will have to rebrand again.
May I suggest, simply:
Andrew™
May I suggest, simply:
Andrew™
I've just bought a Casio watch that keeps accurate by calibrating itself to a time signal from an atomic clock which it receives via longwave radio!
Motherfucker will even adjust itself when the clocks go forward and back!
Trying to work out how to make it rustle me up a sandwich.
Motherfucker will even adjust itself when the clocks go forward and back!
Trying to work out how to make it rustle me up a sandwich.
January 31, 2026 at 5:08 PM
I've just bought a Casio watch that keeps accurate by calibrating itself to a time signal from an atomic clock which it receives via longwave radio!
Motherfucker will even adjust itself when the clocks go forward and back!
Trying to work out how to make it rustle me up a sandwich.
Motherfucker will even adjust itself when the clocks go forward and back!
Trying to work out how to make it rustle me up a sandwich.
Fenchurch wants scritches but doesn't want to get off the sofa, so she's thrashing about in frustration and yelling at me. I love her very much.
January 30, 2026 at 11:08 AM
Fenchurch wants scritches but doesn't want to get off the sofa, so she's thrashing about in frustration and yelling at me. I love her very much.
I've had four pints after work, and instead of grabbing some junk food on the way home, I'm cooking a vaguely nutritious dinner. That is what I call personal development
January 29, 2026 at 10:02 PM
I've had four pints after work, and instead of grabbing some junk food on the way home, I'm cooking a vaguely nutritious dinner. That is what I call personal development
My brother's sorted me out with a couple of bags of the good shit for the weekend (asafoetida and his own masala blend)
January 28, 2026 at 6:45 PM
My brother's sorted me out with a couple of bags of the good shit for the weekend (asafoetida and his own masala blend)
Jason's seeded ciabattin with butter - come on down!
Jason's seeded ciabattin with peanut butter - code brown 🚨
Jason's seeded ciabattin with peanut butter - code brown 🚨
January 28, 2026 at 1:12 PM
Jason's seeded ciabattin with butter - come on down!
Jason's seeded ciabattin with peanut butter - code brown 🚨
Jason's seeded ciabattin with peanut butter - code brown 🚨
I bought adjustable mini shelves for my kitchen cupboards, and I don't want to sound hyperbolic, but this might be the best product in the entire history of commerce
January 27, 2026 at 7:37 PM
I bought adjustable mini shelves for my kitchen cupboards, and I don't want to sound hyperbolic, but this might be the best product in the entire history of commerce
The pair of shadow goblins that I've chosen to share my home with, and from whose tenebrous forms light cannot escape, are loudly demanding a refill of the kibble bowl
January 27, 2026 at 2:27 PM
The pair of shadow goblins that I've chosen to share my home with, and from whose tenebrous forms light cannot escape, are loudly demanding a refill of the kibble bowl
My birdwatching hobby takes me to some of the more wretched hives of scum and villainy that coastal Essex has to offer. Today, it's Canvey Island.
January 25, 2026 at 11:40 AM
My birdwatching hobby takes me to some of the more wretched hives of scum and villainy that coastal Essex has to offer. Today, it's Canvey Island.
Was in a reverie playing Linger on the acoustic and sounding like Dolores O'Riordan on helium, when Arthur sneezed on my hand and broke the spell
January 24, 2026 at 7:49 PM
Was in a reverie playing Linger on the acoustic and sounding like Dolores O'Riordan on helium, when Arthur sneezed on my hand and broke the spell