Danyool
@danyool.bsky.social
There is a real and present danger that my parents have secretly decided not to sort out all the crap they've amassed over the years before they cark it
November 25, 2025 at 9:26 PM
There is a real and present danger that my parents have secretly decided not to sort out all the crap they've amassed over the years before they cark it
Fun fact: if you say "Eat, drink and be merry!" in the company of my parents, my dad will solemnly say "For tomorrow we die".
November 25, 2025 at 7:20 PM
Fun fact: if you say "Eat, drink and be merry!" in the company of my parents, my dad will solemnly say "For tomorrow we die".
Textbook lunch hour trip to the big Sainsbury's. Yelled "Cunt!" when I found someone had locked a big trolley to the end of a row of little trolleys, but other than that it went like clockwork.
November 25, 2025 at 2:30 PM
Textbook lunch hour trip to the big Sainsbury's. Yelled "Cunt!" when I found someone had locked a big trolley to the end of a row of little trolleys, but other than that it went like clockwork.
A haiku
My cat smells of poo
I don't mean all of the time
But right now? Deffo.
My cat smells of poo
I don't mean all of the time
But right now? Deffo.
November 24, 2025 at 5:32 PM
A haiku
My cat smells of poo
I don't mean all of the time
But right now? Deffo.
My cat smells of poo
I don't mean all of the time
But right now? Deffo.
My brother has been up to his laksa tricks again
November 23, 2025 at 9:01 PM
My brother has been up to his laksa tricks again
Saw a tit of the long-tailed variety. First non-blurry photo of one in quite a while!
November 23, 2025 at 7:14 PM
Saw a tit of the long-tailed variety. First non-blurry photo of one in quite a while!
A couple of my Dutch relatives are in town
November 23, 2025 at 4:24 PM
A couple of my Dutch relatives are in town
A member of DLR staff doing a passenger survey asked me "Where did you join the DLR?" and I thought he said "Are you enjoying the DLR?" so I said "Loving it!"
November 20, 2025 at 9:38 PM
A member of DLR staff doing a passenger survey asked me "Where did you join the DLR?" and I thought he said "Are you enjoying the DLR?" so I said "Loving it!"
It's time for the annual work quiz, with free booze, pizza, crisps and sweets. I'm such a sucker for the free stuff I'm travelling into the office for it, after a day working from home
Also I have a title to reclaim
Also I have a title to reclaim
November 20, 2025 at 5:08 PM
It's time for the annual work quiz, with free booze, pizza, crisps and sweets. I'm such a sucker for the free stuff I'm travelling into the office for it, after a day working from home
Also I have a title to reclaim
Also I have a title to reclaim
I like it when robotic dancers on Instagram meet up with other robotic dancers on Instagram and do robotic dancing together
November 20, 2025 at 2:37 PM
I like it when robotic dancers on Instagram meet up with other robotic dancers on Instagram and do robotic dancing together
We have an assessor in the office, and he asked to see our youtube channel, so I brought it up on my laptop, shared it on the big screen, and there was my youtube search history for everyone to see.
I panicked, but it was all "egg muffin recipes" and "Archie Gemmill goal vs Holland". Phewee!
I panicked, but it was all "egg muffin recipes" and "Archie Gemmill goal vs Holland". Phewee!
November 19, 2025 at 1:34 PM
We have an assessor in the office, and he asked to see our youtube channel, so I brought it up on my laptop, shared it on the big screen, and there was my youtube search history for everyone to see.
I panicked, but it was all "egg muffin recipes" and "Archie Gemmill goal vs Holland". Phewee!
I panicked, but it was all "egg muffin recipes" and "Archie Gemmill goal vs Holland". Phewee!
It's so cold my phone doesn't recognise my fingerprints
November 19, 2025 at 8:33 AM
It's so cold my phone doesn't recognise my fingerprints
My mum's hearing is going, and whatever she thinks someone has said, it's always the exact opposite of what they actually said. So I've said that if she thinks about the opposite of what she thinks they said, she'll know what they actually said. Easier said than done though
November 16, 2025 at 6:40 PM
My mum's hearing is going, and whatever she thinks someone has said, it's always the exact opposite of what they actually said. So I've said that if she thinks about the opposite of what she thinks they said, she'll know what they actually said. Easier said than done though
Hey girl, are you my cortisol levels? Because you are so high right now
November 14, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Hey girl, are you my cortisol levels? Because you are so high right now
Just had a smashing boozy post-work sesh in the pub like I used to have in the beforetimes. £8.20 for a pint of Neck Oil though, fucking hell
November 12, 2025 at 9:15 PM
Just had a smashing boozy post-work sesh in the pub like I used to have in the beforetimes. £8.20 for a pint of Neck Oil though, fucking hell
What do the French call custard creams? Crèmes de crème anglaise?
In related news, I don't want to do any woorrk
In related news, I don't want to do any woorrk
November 12, 2025 at 1:33 PM
What do the French call custard creams? Crèmes de crème anglaise?
In related news, I don't want to do any woorrk
In related news, I don't want to do any woorrk
I've thrown myself into my cookery this week, and yet none of my problems in life have gone away??
November 11, 2025 at 9:38 PM
I've thrown myself into my cookery this week, and yet none of my problems in life have gone away??
I've made 1.3kg of soffrito mix for the freezer. That feels like a lot. I just decided to weigh out all the celery I had, which turned out to be quite a lot, and used the same amount of carrots and onion. One thing led to another, and ultimately, to 1.3kg of soffrito
November 10, 2025 at 9:45 PM
I've made 1.3kg of soffrito mix for the freezer. That feels like a lot. I just decided to weigh out all the celery I had, which turned out to be quite a lot, and used the same amount of carrots and onion. One thing led to another, and ultimately, to 1.3kg of soffrito
Saw a kestrel hunting on the Thames Estuary, near Coalhouse Fort. Thought it had caught a fish, but on closer inspection I think it's a rat. RIP, whatever you are (were)
November 10, 2025 at 3:35 PM
Saw a kestrel hunting on the Thames Estuary, near Coalhouse Fort. Thought it had caught a fish, but on closer inspection I think it's a rat. RIP, whatever you are (were)
The radio broadcast of the two minutes silence from the Cenotaph was punctuated by the sound of someone opening a can of fizzy pop 🫡
November 9, 2025 at 11:06 AM
The radio broadcast of the two minutes silence from the Cenotaph was punctuated by the sound of someone opening a can of fizzy pop 🫡
There's nothing more efficient than a burger van operated by two or three seasoned Turkish men with an almost telepathic connection
November 8, 2025 at 12:01 PM
There's nothing more efficient than a burger van operated by two or three seasoned Turkish men with an almost telepathic connection
Idly googled the company that owns the Bonne Maman brand to see if they're evil or not, and found out that they and other jam manufacturers illegally fixed jam prices in France for several years. They were nicknamed the "Compote Cartel".
Anyway, their chocolate chip cookies are excellent.
Anyway, their chocolate chip cookies are excellent.
November 7, 2025 at 7:29 PM
Idly googled the company that owns the Bonne Maman brand to see if they're evil or not, and found out that they and other jam manufacturers illegally fixed jam prices in France for several years. They were nicknamed the "Compote Cartel".
Anyway, their chocolate chip cookies are excellent.
Anyway, their chocolate chip cookies are excellent.
I feel like the world would be a significantly better place if we all agreed that leaving a package by someone's front door does not count as delivering the package
November 7, 2025 at 6:36 PM
I feel like the world would be a significantly better place if we all agreed that leaving a package by someone's front door does not count as delivering the package
Do not attempt to connect with me, reach out to me or align with me. And don't even think about touching base with me
November 7, 2025 at 3:07 PM
Do not attempt to connect with me, reach out to me or align with me. And don't even think about touching base with me
Just went to investigate a series of noises in the lounge, and what I think happened is Arthur was chasing his own tail, whacked his head into the sideboard and hissed at it like it was the sideboard's fault
November 7, 2025 at 11:37 AM
Just went to investigate a series of noises in the lounge, and what I think happened is Arthur was chasing his own tail, whacked his head into the sideboard and hissed at it like it was the sideboard's fault