Advice for Everyone
Do your best not to lie, within reason. When you are caught in a lie, admit to it instantly, and if possible, cheerfully. In this way you will still be able to maintain a reputation for honesty
open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...
Do your best not to lie, within reason. When you are caught in a lie, admit to it instantly, and if possible, cheerfully. In this way you will still be able to maintain a reputation for honesty
open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...
Advice Everyone Should Follow
I'm planning on getting around to some of these myself
open.substack.com
February 6, 2026 at 4:07 PM
Advice for Everyone
Do your best not to lie, within reason. When you are caught in a lie, admit to it instantly, and if possible, cheerfully. In this way you will still be able to maintain a reputation for honesty
open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...
Do your best not to lie, within reason. When you are caught in a lie, admit to it instantly, and if possible, cheerfully. In this way you will still be able to maintain a reputation for honesty
open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...
Reposted by Danny Lavery
“My desire for friendship is not exclusive, but it is often possessive.”
open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...
open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...
The platonic equivalent of r/deadbedrooms and friendship crop rotation
"This creates its own problem when all your friends have known you for the same length of time, like how farmers need to practice crop rotation or else they’ll wear out the soil."
open.substack.com
January 30, 2026 at 6:06 PM
“My desire for friendship is not exclusive, but it is often possessive.”
open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...
open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...
“My desire for friendship is not exclusive, but it is often possessive.”
open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...
open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...
The platonic equivalent of r/deadbedrooms and friendship crop rotation
"This creates its own problem when all your friends have known you for the same length of time, like how farmers need to practice crop rotation or else they’ll wear out the soil."
open.substack.com
January 30, 2026 at 6:06 PM
“My desire for friendship is not exclusive, but it is often possessive.”
open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...
open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...
“Have you still got those green pills I gave you?”
“We mustn't worry him with technical talk. The worst thing for this sort of case is discussion.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you. If you need a prescription, I’ll go so far as to say you ought to be married.”
www.thechatner.com/p/signs-your...
“We mustn't worry him with technical talk. The worst thing for this sort of case is discussion.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you. If you need a prescription, I’ll go so far as to say you ought to be married.”
www.thechatner.com/p/signs-your...
Signs You're A Doctor In A Midcentury Novel
“Have you still got those yellow pills I gave you?”
“Your father’s heart is weak. You must never tell him this; it would weaken his heart.”
“The best prescription I can offer him is someone who be...
www.thechatner.com
January 27, 2026 at 6:59 PM
“Have you still got those green pills I gave you?”
“We mustn't worry him with technical talk. The worst thing for this sort of case is discussion.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you. If you need a prescription, I’ll go so far as to say you ought to be married.”
www.thechatner.com/p/signs-your...
“We mustn't worry him with technical talk. The worst thing for this sort of case is discussion.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you. If you need a prescription, I’ll go so far as to say you ought to be married.”
www.thechatner.com/p/signs-your...
you would not believe how often the titular butch in lesbian pulp classic "Beebo Brinker" drinks a glass of milk defiantly at someone
www.thechatner.com/p/everything...
www.thechatner.com/p/everything...
Everything Beebo Brinker Eats and Drinks in the 1962 Lesbian Pulp Classic "Beebo Brinker"
You'd never guess how many times Beebo Brinker defiantly drinks milk in the lesbian pulp fiction "Beebo Brinker" Chronicles.
www.thechatner.com
January 23, 2026 at 9:55 PM
you would not believe how often the titular butch in lesbian pulp classic "Beebo Brinker" drinks a glass of milk defiantly at someone
www.thechatner.com/p/everything...
www.thechatner.com/p/everything...
"To hear someone call out “On your left” with no hope of friendly eye contact, to have to leap out of the way lest they jangle their hateful little bell at you — without those little courtesies, I become an animal. I would happily kill and kill again."
www.thechatner.com/p/they-got-m...
www.thechatner.com/p/they-got-m...
They Got Me At Last. I Became A Cyclist
“I’m just like you,” I want to say, instead of “On your left.” This isn’t who I am, not really. It’s not the wheels, but the feet that matter.
www.thechatner.com
January 19, 2026 at 9:35 PM
"To hear someone call out “On your left” with no hope of friendly eye contact, to have to leap out of the way lest they jangle their hateful little bell at you — without those little courtesies, I become an animal. I would happily kill and kill again."
www.thechatner.com/p/they-got-m...
www.thechatner.com/p/they-got-m...
A green dog over a tree. A yellow dog under a tree.
John 1:48: “Jesus answered and said to him, ‘Before Philip called you, when you were under the fig tree, I saw you.”
www.thechatner.com/p/a-biblical...
John 1:48: “Jesus answered and said to him, ‘Before Philip called you, when you were under the fig tree, I saw you.”
www.thechatner.com/p/a-biblical...
A Biblical Exegesis of P.D. Eastman's "Go, Dog, Go"
"Work, dogs, work!" Exodus 5:9: “Let more work be laid on them, that they may labor in it.”
www.thechatner.com
January 12, 2026 at 9:20 PM
A green dog over a tree. A yellow dog under a tree.
John 1:48: “Jesus answered and said to him, ‘Before Philip called you, when you were under the fig tree, I saw you.”
www.thechatner.com/p/a-biblical...
John 1:48: “Jesus answered and said to him, ‘Before Philip called you, when you were under the fig tree, I saw you.”
www.thechatner.com/p/a-biblical...
[offended] From time to time I may be at his beck. But I certainly am not at his call
January 10, 2026 at 2:44 AM
[offended] From time to time I may be at his beck. But I certainly am not at his call
Reposted by Danny Lavery
nonfiction titles today:
First Things: Why The Morning Ends (And Why It Doesn’t Have To)
Pasta Fabulous
1927: The Year Before 1928
What Costco Can Teach Us About China, and What China Can Teach Us About Strategy
www.thechatner.com/p/what-every...
First Things: Why The Morning Ends (And Why It Doesn’t Have To)
Pasta Fabulous
1927: The Year Before 1928
What Costco Can Teach Us About China, and What China Can Teach Us About Strategy
www.thechatner.com/p/what-every...
What Every Non-Fiction Book Is Called Now
we all remember the “tiny things we know to be small” title crisis of 2022 but we ought not overlook nonfiction titles like
www.thechatner.com
December 29, 2025 at 4:21 PM
nonfiction titles today:
First Things: Why The Morning Ends (And Why It Doesn’t Have To)
Pasta Fabulous
1927: The Year Before 1928
What Costco Can Teach Us About China, and What China Can Teach Us About Strategy
www.thechatner.com/p/what-every...
First Things: Why The Morning Ends (And Why It Doesn’t Have To)
Pasta Fabulous
1927: The Year Before 1928
What Costco Can Teach Us About China, and What China Can Teach Us About Strategy
www.thechatner.com/p/what-every...
nonfiction titles today:
First Things: Why The Morning Ends (And Why It Doesn’t Have To)
Pasta Fabulous
1927: The Year Before 1928
What Costco Can Teach Us About China, and What China Can Teach Us About Strategy
www.thechatner.com/p/what-every...
First Things: Why The Morning Ends (And Why It Doesn’t Have To)
Pasta Fabulous
1927: The Year Before 1928
What Costco Can Teach Us About China, and What China Can Teach Us About Strategy
www.thechatner.com/p/what-every...
What Every Non-Fiction Book Is Called Now
we all remember the “tiny things we know to be small” title crisis of 2022 but we ought not overlook nonfiction titles like
www.thechatner.com
December 29, 2025 at 4:21 PM
nonfiction titles today:
First Things: Why The Morning Ends (And Why It Doesn’t Have To)
Pasta Fabulous
1927: The Year Before 1928
What Costco Can Teach Us About China, and What China Can Teach Us About Strategy
www.thechatner.com/p/what-every...
First Things: Why The Morning Ends (And Why It Doesn’t Have To)
Pasta Fabulous
1927: The Year Before 1928
What Costco Can Teach Us About China, and What China Can Teach Us About Strategy
www.thechatner.com/p/what-every...
you are under no obligation to believe this, but the movie playing in the lounge for transgender night at the gay bathhouse this weekend was harry potter and the chamber of secrets. incredible move
December 21, 2025 at 11:05 PM
you are under no obligation to believe this, but the movie playing in the lounge for transgender night at the gay bathhouse this weekend was harry potter and the chamber of secrets. incredible move
"Who would have thought that beneath that rather Charlotte Brontë exterior, there was actually a Charlotte Brontë interior, full of meek pride, hopeless hope, and timid determination?"
www.thechatner.com/p/the-best-l...
www.thechatner.com/p/the-best-l...
The Best Lines From John Collier's "His Monkey Wife"
"Mr. Bernard Shaw would have been delighted. So was the chimp.”
www.thechatner.com
December 16, 2025 at 5:28 PM
"Who would have thought that beneath that rather Charlotte Brontë exterior, there was actually a Charlotte Brontë interior, full of meek pride, hopeless hope, and timid determination?"
www.thechatner.com/p/the-best-l...
www.thechatner.com/p/the-best-l...
the baby experienced the full spectrum of baby feelings today: joy, curiosity, gentleness, destruction, chicken, not allowed to touch guitar, weeping, laughing, leg stuck in crib, bath time, fear of Santa, throwing almonds in car, realizing he can hit me with a tennis racket, yelling at bedtime
December 14, 2025 at 4:54 AM
the baby experienced the full spectrum of baby feelings today: joy, curiosity, gentleness, destruction, chicken, not allowed to touch guitar, weeping, laughing, leg stuck in crib, bath time, fear of Santa, throwing almonds in car, realizing he can hit me with a tennis racket, yelling at bedtime
“That’s a new silver fox! It’s stunning.”
“Thank you.”
“It must have been pretty expensive.”
“It was.”
"The Shop Around The Corner" Without Any Christmas or Romance Is Still A Pretty Good Movie About Luggage Inventory
www.thechatner.com/p/the-shop-a...
“Thank you.”
“It must have been pretty expensive.”
“It was.”
"The Shop Around The Corner" Without Any Christmas or Romance Is Still A Pretty Good Movie About Luggage Inventory
www.thechatner.com/p/the-shop-a...
"The Shop Around The Corner" Without Any Christmas or Romance Is Still A Pretty Good Movie About Luggage Inventory
“That’s a new silver fox!
www.thechatner.com
December 12, 2025 at 10:43 PM
“That’s a new silver fox! It’s stunning.”
“Thank you.”
“It must have been pretty expensive.”
“It was.”
"The Shop Around The Corner" Without Any Christmas or Romance Is Still A Pretty Good Movie About Luggage Inventory
www.thechatner.com/p/the-shop-a...
“Thank you.”
“It must have been pretty expensive.”
“It was.”
"The Shop Around The Corner" Without Any Christmas or Romance Is Still A Pretty Good Movie About Luggage Inventory
www.thechatner.com/p/the-shop-a...
one of the many upsides of sleeping with much older men is they often text "copy that" when confirming the time of an assignation
December 12, 2025 at 9:23 PM
one of the many upsides of sleeping with much older men is they often text "copy that" when confirming the time of an assignation
because I like consistency and reasonable quality and shared taste; I like a well-made shoe and a twelve-dollar sandwich and driving a safe, popular car, I have made a list of books that will never change your life. They are all reasonably good:
open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...
open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...
Books That Will Never Change Your Life
Here is a list of books that will never try to change your life.
open.substack.com
December 10, 2025 at 5:41 PM
because I like consistency and reasonable quality and shared taste; I like a well-made shoe and a twelve-dollar sandwich and driving a safe, popular car, I have made a list of books that will never change your life. They are all reasonably good:
open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...
open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...
"Do you like my hat?" and "There is no democracy in any love relation: only mercy." Love's Work in Go, Dog, Go
www.thechatner.com/p/loves-work...
www.thechatner.com/p/loves-work...
Love's Work in "Go, Dog, Go"
Do you like my hat?
www.thechatner.com
December 5, 2025 at 10:47 PM
"Do you like my hat?" and "There is no democracy in any love relation: only mercy." Love's Work in Go, Dog, Go
www.thechatner.com/p/loves-work...
www.thechatner.com/p/loves-work...
“Potatoes matter to me. It’s important to treat them with respect. People matter to me too, but I think it’s better to focus on one thing at a time, rather than splitting your attention across everything you care about.”
Meeting New People comes out June 2nd
open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...
Meeting New People comes out June 2nd
open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...
"Potatoes matter to me": An Excerpt From Meeting New People
"Potatoes matter to me. It’s important to treat them with respect. People matter to me too, but I think it’s much better to focus on one thing at a time."
open.substack.com
December 2, 2025 at 6:56 PM
“Potatoes matter to me. It’s important to treat them with respect. People matter to me too, but I think it’s better to focus on one thing at a time, rather than splitting your attention across everything you care about.”
Meeting New People comes out June 2nd
open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...
Meeting New People comes out June 2nd
open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...
No :) I don’t need to do that right now :)
I’ll remember it
I'll remember it because it's important :)
www.thechatner.com/p/what-it-fe...
I’ll remember it
I'll remember it because it's important :)
www.thechatner.com/p/what-it-fe...
What It Feels Like to Not Have to Write Something Down
No :) I don’t need to do that right now :)
www.thechatner.com
November 24, 2025 at 7:52 PM
No :) I don’t need to do that right now :)
I’ll remember it
I'll remember it because it's important :)
www.thechatner.com/p/what-it-fe...
I’ll remember it
I'll remember it because it's important :)
www.thechatner.com/p/what-it-fe...
book PR scam copy has gotten just better enough in the last year that it drives me insane. I can't handle the extra five seconds of sleuthing before sending to spam!
www.thechatner.com/p/the-worst-...
www.thechatner.com/p/the-worst-...
The Worst Part About Publishing a Book in 2025 Is The New Kind of Spam
I don’t like getting spam emails as a general rule, but they’re usually pretty easy to filter and don’t cause more than a momentary spasm of irritation:
www.thechatner.com
November 21, 2025 at 8:19 PM
book PR scam copy has gotten just better enough in the last year that it drives me insane. I can't handle the extra five seconds of sleuthing before sending to spam!
www.thechatner.com/p/the-worst-...
www.thechatner.com/p/the-worst-...
It will not surprise you to learn that our nineteen-month-old has a charming and idiosyncratic way of saying the phrase “basketball hoop”: he says “Ba-ka-baa hoo.” He says it often and with great conviction.
www.thechatner.com/p/everything...
www.thechatner.com/p/everything...
Everything the Baby Currently Believes to be Basketball
The baby has recently entered into the age of fixations.
www.thechatner.com
November 17, 2025 at 9:01 PM
It will not surprise you to learn that our nineteen-month-old has a charming and idiosyncratic way of saying the phrase “basketball hoop”: he says “Ba-ka-baa hoo.” He says it often and with great conviction.
www.thechatner.com/p/everything...
www.thechatner.com/p/everything...
"Every five years between 1977-1989 and 1998-2015 sees a new Sorcerer sequel set in a different country with a different method of freight handling. This includes the movie Planes, Trains and Automobiles"
-Different kind of “shipping wars”
-Roy Scheider is nominated for a record-breaking 36 Emmys for his performance on NBC’s seaQuest DSV, beating Alan Alda’s run on M*A*S*H
www.thechatner.com/p/life-in-th...
-Roy Scheider is nominated for a record-breaking 36 Emmys for his performance on NBC’s seaQuest DSV, beating Alan Alda’s run on M*A*S*H
www.thechatner.com/p/life-in-th...
Life in the universe where William Friedkin’s Sorcerer beats out Star Wars: A New Hope at the box office in the spring of 1977
Roy Scheider is nominated for a record-breaking 36 Emmys for his performance on NBC’s seaQuest DSV, beating Alan Alda’s run on M*A*S*H
www.thechatner.com
November 14, 2025 at 7:21 PM
"Every five years between 1977-1989 and 1998-2015 sees a new Sorcerer sequel set in a different country with a different method of freight handling. This includes the movie Planes, Trains and Automobiles"
-Different kind of “shipping wars”
-Roy Scheider is nominated for a record-breaking 36 Emmys for his performance on NBC’s seaQuest DSV, beating Alan Alda’s run on M*A*S*H
www.thechatner.com/p/life-in-th...
-Roy Scheider is nominated for a record-breaking 36 Emmys for his performance on NBC’s seaQuest DSV, beating Alan Alda’s run on M*A*S*H
www.thechatner.com/p/life-in-th...
Life in the universe where William Friedkin’s Sorcerer beats out Star Wars: A New Hope at the box office in the spring of 1977
Roy Scheider is nominated for a record-breaking 36 Emmys for his performance on NBC’s seaQuest DSV, beating Alan Alda’s run on M*A*S*H
www.thechatner.com
November 14, 2025 at 4:41 PM
-Different kind of “shipping wars”
-Roy Scheider is nominated for a record-breaking 36 Emmys for his performance on NBC’s seaQuest DSV, beating Alan Alda’s run on M*A*S*H
www.thechatner.com/p/life-in-th...
-Roy Scheider is nominated for a record-breaking 36 Emmys for his performance on NBC’s seaQuest DSV, beating Alan Alda’s run on M*A*S*H
www.thechatner.com/p/life-in-th...
every year, for the last six years, I get about halfway through November thinking “wow, I’ve made it through November, the month everyone in my family revealead themselves to be part of a sinister pedophile-protecting cabal, without going insane at all this time”
November 14, 2025 at 4:04 AM
every year, for the last six years, I get about halfway through November thinking “wow, I’ve made it through November, the month everyone in my family revealead themselves to be part of a sinister pedophile-protecting cabal, without going insane at all this time”