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daniellebkoenig.bsky.social
@daniellebkoenig.bsky.social
1.6K followers 96 following 340 posts
Writer/co-host of How to Survive with Danielle & Kristine
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daniellebkoenig.bsky.social
Today we’re learning How to Survive Uber with Oliver Pardo!
January 6, 2026 at 3:42 PM
daniellebkoenig.bsky.social
In the past when we destabilized another country, we at least had the decency to lie about it being about oil.
January 5, 2026 at 3:27 AM
Reposted
howtosurvive.bsky.social
Today we’re learning How to Survive losing your voice and network censors with Gary Mann!
December 30, 2025 at 4:13 PM
daniellebkoenig.bsky.social
In response to the CIA drone strike on Venezuela, Maduro has called Trump “ a fargin ice hole”.
December 30, 2025 at 4:07 PM
Reposted
howtosurvive.bsky.social
Today we’re learning How to Survive being ill-prepared for life and Burning Man with @jordanmorris.bsky.social!
December 24, 2025 at 8:01 PM
daniellebkoenig.bsky.social
I made the Most Popular Posts on Chortle!
www.chortle.blog/p/our-10-mos...
Our 10 Most Popular Posts of 2025
A brief look back.
www.chortle.blog
December 19, 2025 at 8:21 PM
Reposted
craigcalcaterra.bsky.social
The Vanity Fair photographer from the Susie Wiles story.

Holy. Shit.

www.washingtonpost.com/style/power/...
Were there moments that you missed? Anything that happened that’s on the cutting room floor? I don’t think there’s anything I missed that I wish I’d gotten. I’ll give you a little anecdote: Stephen Miller was perhaps the most concerned about the portrait session. He asked me, “Should I smile or not smile?” and I said, “How would you want to be portrayed?” We agreed that we would do a bit of both. And then when we were finished, he comes up to me to shake my hand and say goodbye. And he says to me, “You know, you have a lot of power in the discretion you use to be kind to people.” And I looked at him and I said, “You know, you do, too.”
December 17, 2025 at 8:34 PM
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howtosurvive.bsky.social
Today we’re surviving white water rapids and working on the river with @dreaclark.bsky.social!
December 16, 2025 at 5:24 PM
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howtosurvive.bsky.social
Today we’re learning How to Survive sulfuric acid and a sulfur allergy with
Jeremy Bent!
@jeremybent.bsky.social!
December 9, 2025 at 6:43 PM
daniellebkoenig.bsky.social
🎵It’s beginning to look a lot like an e-meter reading!🎵
December 3, 2025 at 7:15 AM
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howtosurvive.bsky.social
Today we’re learning How to Survive Holiday Stress!
December 2, 2025 at 5:22 PM
daniellebkoenig.bsky.social
Is it “Son of Shithead”? Because, if so, I’m not surprised.
December 1, 2025 at 6:10 AM
daniellebkoenig.bsky.social
Happy Caturday. Am I doing this right?
November 29, 2025 at 10:52 PM
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jimmypardo.com
TOMORROW!!
Join Oliver Pardo and me for 90-120 minutes of stupidity!!
My Annual Virtual Holiday Show!

jimmypardo.simpletix.com
November 28, 2025 at 5:37 PM
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howtosurvive.bsky.social
Today we’re surviving a bad trip with Ilana Cohn Sullivan!
November 25, 2025 at 11:27 PM
daniellebkoenig.bsky.social
I have a new piece up at Belladonna! Please check it out.
belladonnacomedy.bsky.social The Belladonna Comedy @belladonnacomedy.bsky.social · Nov 25
“Why 17, you ask? Because it’s exactly all you’ll need for the rest of your life.”
By @daniellebkoenig.bsky.social

Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/press-releas...
November 25, 2025 at 4:04 PM
daniellebkoenig.bsky.social
So we just need to say that one of the Epstein survivors won something, send her in to meet Trump and he’ll suddenly listen to her?
November 22, 2025 at 1:27 AM
daniellebkoenig.bsky.social
But first they’ll have to find her, as she lives in Canada and he met her at camp.

www.ms.now/news/kash-pa...
Kash Patel's girlfriend being protected by FBI SWAT agents as security perk
Agents on a detail with the country singer would presumably be unable to respond or delayed in responding to other incidents, according to sources.
www.ms.now
November 17, 2025 at 3:42 PM
daniellebkoenig.bsky.social
Totally wild that Jesse Eisenberg said no to the Zuckerberg sequel but signed up for a third Now You See Me film.
November 16, 2025 at 7:49 AM
daniellebkoenig.bsky.social
How soon before she turns that puppy out?

www.usatoday.com/story/news/p...
Custom meals, puppy time among Ghislaine Maxwell's alleged prison benefits, Raskin says
Rep. Jamie Raskin said Ghislaine Maxwell is getting special treatment in prison, including time with a puppy.
www.usatoday.com
November 12, 2025 at 3:49 PM
daniellebkoenig.bsky.social
And another one! Please check out my (really short) humor piece!
www.chortle.blog/p/08678807-2...
Chortle
Short humor for anyone who chuckles, guffaws, snickers, hoots, or otherwise expresses mirth. New posts every weekday! Click to read Chortle, a Substack publication with thousands of subscribers.
www.chortle.blog
November 7, 2025 at 7:18 PM
daniellebkoenig.bsky.social
Just came back from the dentist. We're going to keep an eye on number 14.
November 5, 2025 at 12:52 AM
daniellebkoenig.bsky.social
Hey there! I have a HUMOR piece up on Belladonna. Please check it out!
November 4, 2025 at 5:52 PM
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howtosurvive.bsky.social
Today we’re learning How to Survive space missions and Madonna auditions with @dennishensley.bsky.social !

podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/h...
How To Survive a Space Mission & a Madonna Audition (w/Dennis Hensley)
Podcast Episode · How To Survive with Danielle & Kristine · 11/04/2025 · 1h 21m
podcasts.apple.com
November 4, 2025 at 3:27 PM
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chortle.blog
Please be aware that the 2025 Hyundai Ioniq 5 could kill you.

New post from @daniellebkoenig.bsky.social!
Hyundai Safety Warning for Anyone Over 40
Shiny dashboard reveals terrible truth about your neck.
www.chortle.blog
November 3, 2025 at 5:53 PM