Maffyou
@damplump.bsky.social
Earth Scientist | Plant Parent | Invertebrate Guardian | Snacks
🏳️🌈
He/Him
🏳️🌈
He/Him
Pb&j on the half shell
January 18, 2026 at 12:32 AM
Pb&j on the half shell
It's 11:11 and I'm worried that if i wish to not be tired anymore,the universe will give me death
January 14, 2026 at 4:12 PM
It's 11:11 and I'm worried that if i wish to not be tired anymore,the universe will give me death
Ran out of snacks and fruit. The only choices i have left are carrots or macaroni. I already ate a carrot but it didn't hit the spot
January 14, 2026 at 12:50 AM
Ran out of snacks and fruit. The only choices i have left are carrots or macaroni. I already ate a carrot but it didn't hit the spot
If i was a little bird, I'd dm you a pic of my sweet forehead plumage
January 9, 2026 at 12:02 AM
If i was a little bird, I'd dm you a pic of my sweet forehead plumage
The opening line of my dystopian play:
"Don't let them lie to you! All of your calories can come from cheese! They've been suppressing this information!!!!"
"Don't let them lie to you! All of your calories can come from cheese! They've been suppressing this information!!!!"
January 4, 2026 at 1:22 AM
The opening line of my dystopian play:
"Don't let them lie to you! All of your calories can come from cheese! They've been suppressing this information!!!!"
"Don't let them lie to you! All of your calories can come from cheese! They've been suppressing this information!!!!"
My friend is texting me about her girlfriend drama, their relationship might end, and I'm scrolling through antique lamps on etsy. Such is life
January 2, 2026 at 5:03 PM
My friend is texting me about her girlfriend drama, their relationship might end, and I'm scrolling through antique lamps on etsy. Such is life
Last night, one of my drunk house guests claimed that they were probably on the spectrum bc they could remember where people last placed their wine glass 🫤 I responded with 'Who else wants water?!'
December 26, 2025 at 1:57 PM
Last night, one of my drunk house guests claimed that they were probably on the spectrum bc they could remember where people last placed their wine glass 🫤 I responded with 'Who else wants water?!'
Could someone with a time machine go back a couple hours and tell me to get chips when I'm at the store
December 20, 2025 at 1:40 AM
Could someone with a time machine go back a couple hours and tell me to get chips when I'm at the store
The best time to go on your phone is right after you press play on a new miniseries
December 19, 2025 at 4:33 PM
The best time to go on your phone is right after you press play on a new miniseries
I've taken a spoonful of it for a test drive
Legit query: i have pistachio filling from Jordan. I don't know where the pistachios originated. Should i risk salmonella? I was going to use it in a cake
December 18, 2025 at 9:54 PM
I've taken a spoonful of it for a test drive
Tide creamy garlic laundry soap would be fun
December 17, 2025 at 8:31 PM
Tide creamy garlic laundry soap would be fun
This cat is going to be the end of me 😮💨
He woke me up multiple times last night crying like a baby. Now he's sleeping but I'm awake
He woke me up multiple times last night crying like a baby. Now he's sleeping but I'm awake
December 17, 2025 at 11:33 AM
This cat is going to be the end of me 😮💨
He woke me up multiple times last night crying like a baby. Now he's sleeping but I'm awake
He woke me up multiple times last night crying like a baby. Now he's sleeping but I'm awake
Legit query: i have pistachio filling from Jordan. I don't know where the pistachios originated. Should i risk salmonella? I was going to use it in a cake
December 15, 2025 at 11:09 PM
Legit query: i have pistachio filling from Jordan. I don't know where the pistachios originated. Should i risk salmonella? I was going to use it in a cake
I can't believe it's not halloumi
December 15, 2025 at 10:29 PM
I can't believe it's not halloumi
How do i know if a cat had a good sleep?
December 15, 2025 at 6:09 PM
How do i know if a cat had a good sleep?
He ate half of a plant and puked it up on the carpet
The baby cat has arrived
December 15, 2025 at 4:47 PM
He ate half of a plant and puked it up on the carpet
Someone needs to invent a teacup that will warm my feet as well as my hands
December 15, 2025 at 4:11 PM
Someone needs to invent a teacup that will warm my feet as well as my hands
Anne of greek gables
December 14, 2025 at 9:35 PM
Anne of greek gables
The baby cat has arrived
December 14, 2025 at 2:48 PM
The baby cat has arrived
The punishment for the people who decided on no subway service two weekends before xmas should be forced to eat only unripe persimmons for the next two weeks. OR receive a correctional slap from anyone inconvenienced by said decision
December 14, 2025 at 1:44 PM
The punishment for the people who decided on no subway service two weekends before xmas should be forced to eat only unripe persimmons for the next two weeks. OR receive a correctional slap from anyone inconvenienced by said decision
Should i be bad and have a coffee after 2pm?
December 12, 2025 at 7:15 PM
Should i be bad and have a coffee after 2pm?
Was going to go for a longer walk but i got hungry and lost my sparkle
December 12, 2025 at 3:38 PM
Was going to go for a longer walk but i got hungry and lost my sparkle
Hey babe, can you come feed me chips?
December 10, 2025 at 10:47 PM
Hey babe, can you come feed me chips?