Cthulhu the Librarian
@cthulhulovesbooks.bsky.social
Bright Cosmic Horror Writer & YouTuber | Douglas Adams Fan | DD214 Blanket Enthusiast | Eldritch Shitposter | French Pastry Connoisseur | Cosmic Librarian | LGBT+ Ally | Free Palestine 🇵🇸
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Cthulhu_the_Librarian
Bright Cosmic Horror is a subgenre where the universe remains vast, incomprehensible, and indifferent—but the characters within it choose to care anyway. It explores the emotional lives of eldritch or...
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Welcome,
I'm Cthulhu the Librarian, reluctant content creator because apparently screaming into the void now requires branding.
My channel features eldritch rants and mythic podcasts. If you enjoy absurd cosmic tales (think Douglas Adams) you're in the right place
youtube.com/@cthulhu_the...
I'm Cthulhu the Librarian, reluctant content creator because apparently screaming into the void now requires branding.
My channel features eldritch rants and mythic podcasts. If you enjoy absurd cosmic tales (think Douglas Adams) you're in the right place
youtube.com/@cthulhu_the...
youtu.be/fBDYnoP5Fyo?...
Ordinary ambient? Too mortal.
This is bright cosmic horror, an hour-long soundscape born in the void between comfort and dread.
Put it on and see where it takes you:
Ordinary ambient? Too mortal.
This is bright cosmic horror, an hour-long soundscape born in the void between comfort and dread.
Put it on and see where it takes you:
Echos of Shub-Olunethra: An Hour of Ambient Bright Cosmic Horror |🕯️
YouTube video by Cthulhu the Librarian
youtu.be
October 20, 2025 at 6:20 PM
youtu.be/fBDYnoP5Fyo?...
Ordinary ambient? Too mortal.
This is bright cosmic horror, an hour-long soundscape born in the void between comfort and dread.
Put it on and see where it takes you:
Ordinary ambient? Too mortal.
This is bright cosmic horror, an hour-long soundscape born in the void between comfort and dread.
Put it on and see where it takes you:
I once attempted to measure a strand of spaghetti against the known radius of the universe. Halfway through, the noodle looped back and filed a restraining order against me. Cosmologists insist on “string theory,” but I maintain we are all merely trapped in pasta theory.
September 3, 2025 at 3:42 PM
I once attempted to measure a strand of spaghetti against the known radius of the universe. Halfway through, the noodle looped back and filed a restraining order against me. Cosmologists insist on “string theory,” but I maintain we are all merely trapped in pasta theory.
I once joined mortals for chess. Thought I was clever using a star cluster as pawns. Forgot about gravity. Half their pieces collapsed into a black hole. They accused me of cheating; I accused them of poor astrophysics.
August 28, 2025 at 7:45 PM
I once joined mortals for chess. Thought I was clever using a star cluster as pawns. Forgot about gravity. Half their pieces collapsed into a black hole. They accused me of cheating; I accused them of poor astrophysics.
When you’re friends with Yog-Sothoth you wake up in every timeline at once. Which is why I stopped accepting his invitations, each hangout ended three centuries before it began. And don’t get me started on movies. He spoiled Casablanca before film was invented.
August 27, 2025 at 2:35 PM
When you’re friends with Yog-Sothoth you wake up in every timeline at once. Which is why I stopped accepting his invitations, each hangout ended three centuries before it began. And don’t get me started on movies. He spoiled Casablanca before film was invented.
I, Cthulhu, sometimes indulge in a little nap. Upon waking, Greenland had drifted three inches to the left. Not my fault. That’s simply what happens when I roll over and the tectonic plates panic and a few cartographers quietly retire.
August 26, 2025 at 9:15 PM
I, Cthulhu, sometimes indulge in a little nap. Upon waking, Greenland had drifted three inches to the left. Not my fault. That’s simply what happens when I roll over and the tectonic plates panic and a few cartographers quietly retire.
Tried cooking pasta last night. Mortals insist you boil it in water; I used molten plasma from a collapsing star. Texture was chewy, flavor was catastrophic, and technically the FDA now classifies my kitchen as a weapon.
August 26, 2025 at 9:01 PM
Tried cooking pasta last night. Mortals insist you boil it in water; I used molten plasma from a collapsing star. Texture was chewy, flavor was catastrophic, and technically the FDA now classifies my kitchen as a weapon.
Experimented with mortal gardening. Planted tomatoes. Accidentally grew a sentient labyrinth that now charges tolls in riddles. Still more polite than Home Depot.
August 26, 2025 at 7:43 PM
Experimented with mortal gardening. Planted tomatoes. Accidentally grew a sentient labyrinth that now charges tolls in riddles. Still more polite than Home Depot.
Made small talk with Yog-Sothoth one time about how nice it is outside and he agreed then said this was exactly what the weather was like on 9/11
August 26, 2025 at 3:18 PM
Made small talk with Yog-Sothoth one time about how nice it is outside and he agreed then said this was exactly what the weather was like on 9/11
I once submitted The Gospel According to Tentacles to Jesus during his ministry. He returned it with “kindly rejected—too many footnotes, not enough parables.” I’ve never forgiven him, though I admit the Sermon on the Mount was tighter editing than I ever managed.
August 26, 2025 at 11:58 AM
I once submitted The Gospel According to Tentacles to Jesus during his ministry. He returned it with “kindly rejected—too many footnotes, not enough parables.” I’ve never forgiven him, though I admit the Sermon on the Mount was tighter editing than I ever managed.
Once again, I discovered a freshman deity had returned a grimoire dog-eared, and insultingly highlighted. Imagine desecrating an interdimensional text with neon yellow ink. I left a note: Knowledge is not a coloring book. Repeat this on the board until your worshippers revolt.
August 25, 2025 at 10:02 PM
Once again, I discovered a freshman deity had returned a grimoire dog-eared, and insultingly highlighted. Imagine desecrating an interdimensional text with neon yellow ink. I left a note: Knowledge is not a coloring book. Repeat this on the board until your worshippers revolt.
Zeus once told me lightning was “his brand.” As if thunderbolts were a logo, not an electrical tantrum hurled at mortals in togas. The man thinks he invented weather. I’ve seen fungi with more modesty, and better organizational skills.
August 25, 2025 at 7:21 PM
Zeus once told me lightning was “his brand.” As if thunderbolts were a logo, not an electrical tantrum hurled at mortals in togas. The man thinks he invented weather. I’ve seen fungi with more modesty, and better organizational skills.
Odin has replaced Valkyrie steeds with a U-Haul fleet. Because nothing says “eternal glory” like watching heroes of legend stacked in a rental truck that smells faintly of mildew and despair. I’ve seen fresher organizational skills in the Library’s overdue notices drawer.
August 25, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Odin has replaced Valkyrie steeds with a U-Haul fleet. Because nothing says “eternal glory” like watching heroes of legend stacked in a rental truck that smells faintly of mildew and despair. I’ve seen fresher organizational skills in the Library’s overdue notices drawer.
Pumpkin spice latte is not coffee, it is a sanctioned hallucination, a potion brewed to convince mortals they are participating in autumn even while standing in a strip mall that smells faintly of brake fluid.
August 23, 2025 at 8:37 PM
Pumpkin spice latte is not coffee, it is a sanctioned hallucination, a potion brewed to convince mortals they are participating in autumn even while standing in a strip mall that smells faintly of brake fluid.
Traveling at light speed sounds impressive until you realize that for me, it’s the equivalent of being stuck in traffic behind a cosmic minivan with its blinker on since the Big Bang.
August 23, 2025 at 6:54 PM
Traveling at light speed sounds impressive until you realize that for me, it’s the equivalent of being stuck in traffic behind a cosmic minivan with its blinker on since the Big Bang.
Public beatings require a permit these days, and the paperwork backlog is apocalyptic. By the time your visage is processed for collective outrage, you’ll already be on season three of streaming.
August 22, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Public beatings require a permit these days, and the paperwork backlog is apocalyptic. By the time your visage is processed for collective outrage, you’ll already be on season three of streaming.
Tried mortal dating apps. They all said 'must love dogs.' Not a single one clarified whether 'dogs' included spectral three-headed wolf guardians who devour socks. Ambiguous criteria is how civilizations fall.
August 22, 2025 at 6:44 PM
Tried mortal dating apps. They all said 'must love dogs.' Not a single one clarified whether 'dogs' included spectral three-headed wolf guardians who devour socks. Ambiguous criteria is how civilizations fall.
Mortals think ‘writer’s block’ is a tragedy. In the Library, it’s a pest, thick, gray, and prone to breeding in margins. I recommend fire, or at least a thesaurus wielded with malice. Ignore it, and it will alphabetize your thoughts until you start narrating your own breathing.
August 22, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Mortals think ‘writer’s block’ is a tragedy. In the Library, it’s a pest, thick, gray, and prone to breeding in margins. I recommend fire, or at least a thesaurus wielded with malice. Ignore it, and it will alphabetize your thoughts until you start narrating your own breathing.
Mortals keep summoning me incorrectly. Last week, some fool lit three Yankee candles and played Nickelback. Do I look like I accept offerings from a clearance aisle? If you can’t be bothered to find proper incense, stay home and play Scrabble.
August 22, 2025 at 3:29 PM
Mortals keep summoning me incorrectly. Last week, some fool lit three Yankee candles and played Nickelback. Do I look like I accept offerings from a clearance aisle? If you can’t be bothered to find proper incense, stay home and play Scrabble.
There is a precise geometry to breakfast: a fragile balance of pastry, caffeine, and despair. Disturb it, and entire civilizations collapse. I attempted toast this morning and accidentally scheduled a minor apocalypse for Thursday. The cat was unimpressed.
August 22, 2025 at 1:31 PM
There is a precise geometry to breakfast: a fragile balance of pastry, caffeine, and despair. Disturb it, and entire civilizations collapse. I attempted toast this morning and accidentally scheduled a minor apocalypse for Thursday. The cat was unimpressed.
Hoping left wingers will put purity dick riding aside in 2028 and choose a candidate, otherwise Jill Stein will come out from her kremlin crypt again and syphon energy off the voting bloc with her finger wagging vampirism in pursuit of immortality.
August 19, 2025 at 9:36 PM
Hoping left wingers will put purity dick riding aside in 2028 and choose a candidate, otherwise Jill Stein will come out from her kremlin crypt again and syphon energy off the voting bloc with her finger wagging vampirism in pursuit of immortality.
I asked Zeus why he keeps turning into animals. He said it was for ‘research.’ Yes, research into how many lawsuits you can rack up before Olympus needs an HR department. Spoiler: it’s more than one.
August 18, 2025 at 9:33 PM
I asked Zeus why he keeps turning into animals. He said it was for ‘research.’ Yes, research into how many lawsuits you can rack up before Olympus needs an HR department. Spoiler: it’s more than one.
Mortals ask why I don’t intervene in their petty wars. I tried once. Replaced every weapon with a slightly disappointed librarian. Entire nations surrendered, mostly out of shame. Do you know how hard it is to feed a platoon of librarians?
August 18, 2025 at 4:19 PM
Mortals ask why I don’t intervene in their petty wars. I tried once. Replaced every weapon with a slightly disappointed librarian. Entire nations surrendered, mostly out of shame. Do you know how hard it is to feed a platoon of librarians?
Mortals ‘brew coffee.’ I conduct a summoning. The beans scream, the kettle boils like Tartarus, and by the time the cup is poured three minor pantheons have collapsed. Still tastes better than Starbucks
August 16, 2025 at 11:21 PM
Mortals ‘brew coffee.’ I conduct a summoning. The beans scream, the kettle boils like Tartarus, and by the time the cup is poured three minor pantheons have collapsed. Still tastes better than Starbucks
Zeus lectures mortals about loyalty while turning into swans, bulls, and the occasional drizzle. I’m eldritch, not judgmental, but if your romantic strategy requires barnyard cosplay, perhaps rethink Olympus HR policy.
August 16, 2025 at 2:13 PM
Zeus lectures mortals about loyalty while turning into swans, bulls, and the occasional drizzle. I’m eldritch, not judgmental, but if your romantic strategy requires barnyard cosplay, perhaps rethink Olympus HR policy.