Cody Morrison
@codyamorrison.bsky.social
Dad, husband, and sometimes comedian (debatable on the last point).
I'm starting to think that a lot of what I was taught in school about how the government works was wrong.
December 18, 2025 at 10:48 PM
I'm starting to think that a lot of what I was taught in school about how the government works was wrong.
Computers being down at work should be the same as when the teacher didn't show up in school. If they're not there in 15 minutes everyone is allowed to go home.
December 17, 2025 at 7:15 PM
Computers being down at work should be the same as when the teacher didn't show up in school. If they're not there in 15 minutes everyone is allowed to go home.
I'm predicting that in 2026 corporations will listen to feedback from consumers and lower prices while maintaining quality. Just kidding, they'll continue to raise prices and make products smaller and worse.
December 17, 2025 at 7:11 PM
I'm predicting that in 2026 corporations will listen to feedback from consumers and lower prices while maintaining quality. Just kidding, they'll continue to raise prices and make products smaller and worse.
Do climate change deniers tell their kids that Santa will leave them solar panels instead of coal?
December 15, 2025 at 11:14 PM
Do climate change deniers tell their kids that Santa will leave them solar panels instead of coal?
Chopping wood has been found to increase testosterone more than working out for a similar amount of time. I fully expect RFK Jr to mandate wood burners for every home.
December 15, 2025 at 4:11 AM
Chopping wood has been found to increase testosterone more than working out for a similar amount of time. I fully expect RFK Jr to mandate wood burners for every home.
Completely disregarding all healthy habits for the entire month of December because "it's the holidays" is my favorite holiday tradition.
December 15, 2025 at 2:53 AM
Completely disregarding all healthy habits for the entire month of December because "it's the holidays" is my favorite holiday tradition.
Charles Dickens wrote A Christmas Carol in 1843 warning about the dangers of unchecked greed and the exploitation of workers. Man I'm glad that we've solved that problem in the almost 200 years since then.
December 13, 2025 at 5:33 PM
Charles Dickens wrote A Christmas Carol in 1843 warning about the dangers of unchecked greed and the exploitation of workers. Man I'm glad that we've solved that problem in the almost 200 years since then.
The finale of 2025 better be good because so far this season has been a real letdown.
December 13, 2025 at 3:07 AM
The finale of 2025 better be good because so far this season has been a real letdown.
Just saw a car with a license plate that said LUV DP. I thought wow good for you being comfortable with yourself. Then I saw that it was a Dolly Parton vanity plate and thought oh no, you should never abbreviate Dolly's name like that.
December 12, 2025 at 3:43 PM
Just saw a car with a license plate that said LUV DP. I thought wow good for you being comfortable with yourself. Then I saw that it was a Dolly Parton vanity plate and thought oh no, you should never abbreviate Dolly's name like that.
It's fun how every time the weather turns cold my knuckles instantly look like I'm training for a bare knuckle boxing match because now apparently my soap is too harsh for my sensitive hands.
December 10, 2025 at 1:00 AM
It's fun how every time the weather turns cold my knuckles instantly look like I'm training for a bare knuckle boxing match because now apparently my soap is too harsh for my sensitive hands.
It's neat that both Stranger Things and Welcome to Derry are reminding us that if there was ever some inter dimensional horrors terrorizing a town the top priority of the government would be to figure out how to make it a weapon.
December 10, 2025 at 12:56 AM
It's neat that both Stranger Things and Welcome to Derry are reminding us that if there was ever some inter dimensional horrors terrorizing a town the top priority of the government would be to figure out how to make it a weapon.
Welcome to Dairy Queen where kids are terrorized by lactose intolerance.
December 9, 2025 at 12:59 AM
Welcome to Dairy Queen where kids are terrorized by lactose intolerance.
Saw a story where a raccoon broke into a liquor store and got so drunk that it passed out in the bathroom. Animals really are just like us.
December 3, 2025 at 7:59 PM
Saw a story where a raccoon broke into a liquor store and got so drunk that it passed out in the bathroom. Animals really are just like us.
Using my new snow removal machine today: Wow, this blows!
December 2, 2025 at 10:27 PM
Using my new snow removal machine today: Wow, this blows!
Patient: What can I say Doc, I just march to the beat of my own drum.
Doctor: I don't think you understand the severity of heart arrhythmia.
Doctor: I don't think you understand the severity of heart arrhythmia.
December 2, 2025 at 10:27 PM
Patient: What can I say Doc, I just march to the beat of my own drum.
Doctor: I don't think you understand the severity of heart arrhythmia.
Doctor: I don't think you understand the severity of heart arrhythmia.
Taking vitamins is my way of trying to trick my body into thinking I'm not as much of a garbage person as I really am.
December 2, 2025 at 3:50 AM
Taking vitamins is my way of trying to trick my body into thinking I'm not as much of a garbage person as I really am.
Genie nervously: Why would you wish for a gigantic head?
Me walking menacingly towards a restaurant that advertises burritos bigger than your head: Oh you'll see.
Me walking menacingly towards a restaurant that advertises burritos bigger than your head: Oh you'll see.
December 1, 2025 at 9:26 PM
Genie nervously: Why would you wish for a gigantic head?
Me walking menacingly towards a restaurant that advertises burritos bigger than your head: Oh you'll see.
Me walking menacingly towards a restaurant that advertises burritos bigger than your head: Oh you'll see.
I have a certain pair of socks that I like to wear when I'm relaxing. They're my decompression socks.
December 1, 2025 at 6:12 PM
I have a certain pair of socks that I like to wear when I'm relaxing. They're my decompression socks.
Nothing like a 4 day weekend to make you never want to go back to work again.
November 30, 2025 at 4:08 PM
Nothing like a 4 day weekend to make you never want to go back to work again.
A business called Dom's Subs could lead to some very confused sandwich seekers.
November 29, 2025 at 5:30 PM
A business called Dom's Subs could lead to some very confused sandwich seekers.
I was telling our three year old that chicken nuggets are made of chicken and she said "no, chickens are made out of chicken nuggets." I was not expecting a philosophical Uno reverse card.
November 29, 2025 at 3:42 AM
I was telling our three year old that chicken nuggets are made of chicken and she said "no, chickens are made out of chicken nuggets." I was not expecting a philosophical Uno reverse card.
Watching the Macy's Thanksgiving parade as a kid: Who are these old people musicians?
Watching the parade now: Hey is that Shaggy? But that means, oh no.
Watching the parade now: Hey is that Shaggy? But that means, oh no.
November 27, 2025 at 6:29 PM
Watching the Macy's Thanksgiving parade as a kid: Who are these old people musicians?
Watching the parade now: Hey is that Shaggy? But that means, oh no.
Watching the parade now: Hey is that Shaggy? But that means, oh no.
I heard that the turkeys that were pardoned this year needed the pardons because they stormed the Capitol on Jan 6.
November 27, 2025 at 12:42 AM
I heard that the turkeys that were pardoned this year needed the pardons because they stormed the Capitol on Jan 6.
Apparently the only thing more toxic than the sludge Campbells got busted dumping in Lake Erie is their workplace culture.
November 25, 2025 at 7:42 PM
Apparently the only thing more toxic than the sludge Campbells got busted dumping in Lake Erie is their workplace culture.
Boy, that Campbell's VP is in some hot water, with chicken and noodles. He seems as salty as their products. I'd say his career there is about to be condensed. I bet he gets canned.
November 25, 2025 at 4:28 PM
Boy, that Campbell's VP is in some hot water, with chicken and noodles. He seems as salty as their products. I'd say his career there is about to be condensed. I bet he gets canned.