Clue Heywood
@clueheywood.bsky.social
Three-time winner of Phoenix Magazine's Readers Choice Award for "Best Twitter," but now saving my better stuff for Bluesky, because you folks are so smart. And, did I mention, handsome!
Arizona, USA
Arizona, USA
people are making a big deal about Trump et al pressuring Lauren Boebert to rescind her vote in the White House Situation Room, but last I checked the White House doesn't have an "I banged a bunch of children and we need you to help cover it up" room
November 13, 2025 at 12:14 AM
people are making a big deal about Trump et al pressuring Lauren Boebert to rescind her vote in the White House Situation Room, but last I checked the White House doesn't have an "I banged a bunch of children and we need you to help cover it up" room
How right you were, Jay Johnston.
November 12, 2025 at 3:44 PM
How right you were, Jay Johnston.
Thank you, veterans
November 11, 2025 at 4:12 PM
Thank you, veterans
lol best dive bar bathroom sticker I’ve ever seen
November 11, 2025 at 1:28 AM
lol best dive bar bathroom sticker I’ve ever seen
I went 1-10 against the spread yesterday which is quite an incredible feat of futility, but that said, Go Birds.
November 11, 2025 at 1:01 AM
I went 1-10 against the spread yesterday which is quite an incredible feat of futility, but that said, Go Birds.
What idiot called it two women named the diminutive of abigail leaving a thanksgiving night orgy before it’s over because they’re already sexually satisfied and not When the Gails of November Came Early
November 9, 2025 at 7:56 PM
What idiot called it two women named the diminutive of abigail leaving a thanksgiving night orgy before it’s over because they’re already sexually satisfied and not When the Gails of November Came Early
Would love to celebrate the electoral wins yesterday but this cycle of the country electing malignant people then fighting back with “waves” is exhausting, things are just so fundamentally broken here, in what we think government does, and in our souls, I have little hope for any real reconciliation
November 6, 2025 at 1:36 AM
Would love to celebrate the electoral wins yesterday but this cycle of the country electing malignant people then fighting back with “waves” is exhausting, things are just so fundamentally broken here, in what we think government does, and in our souls, I have little hope for any real reconciliation
I have a ancient statue avatar and some vague Latin in my display name, I am now a Conservative thought leader online, which beats my old job selling hot tubs in Gulfport
November 4, 2025 at 9:17 PM
I have a ancient statue avatar and some vague Latin in my display name, I am now a Conservative thought leader online, which beats my old job selling hot tubs in Gulfport
“The sweet onion sauce splatter included an abrasion ring, which we noted in our report was a little unusual.”
“Can you explain to the court why that is unusual?”
“It means the thrower’s hand was close to or touching the officer’s body when the sub was thrown.”
(Jury gasps)
“Can you explain to the court why that is unusual?”
“It means the thrower’s hand was close to or touching the officer’s body when the sub was thrown.”
(Jury gasps)
November 4, 2025 at 5:26 PM
“The sweet onion sauce splatter included an abrasion ring, which we noted in our report was a little unusual.”
“Can you explain to the court why that is unusual?”
“It means the thrower’s hand was close to or touching the officer’s body when the sub was thrown.”
(Jury gasps)
“Can you explain to the court why that is unusual?”
“It means the thrower’s hand was close to or touching the officer’s body when the sub was thrown.”
(Jury gasps)
@theamitie.bsky.social (summons every ounce of strength my decaying body still possesses) congrats.
November 2, 2025 at 5:02 AM
@theamitie.bsky.social (summons every ounce of strength my decaying body still possesses) congrats.
Well it was an amazing World Series and a reminder that baseball despite its faults is probably the greatest sport invented by man, and also I hope all Dodgers fans are stricken with painful sores and tumors, and cast into hellfire, for eternity
November 2, 2025 at 4:37 AM
Well it was an amazing World Series and a reminder that baseball despite its faults is probably the greatest sport invented by man, and also I hope all Dodgers fans are stricken with painful sores and tumors, and cast into hellfire, for eternity
Love the Big Sky conference, they lean into being a bunch of weird mountain people, ask too many questions and they think you’re from the government
November 1, 2025 at 4:23 AM
Love the Big Sky conference, they lean into being a bunch of weird mountain people, ask too many questions and they think you’re from the government
Tomorrow they’ll say it’s “win or go home” but let’s be real none of these players live in fuckin’ Canada.
November 1, 2025 at 3:29 AM
Tomorrow they’ll say it’s “win or go home” but let’s be real none of these players live in fuckin’ Canada.
Pathetic showing by the Blue Jays in the ninth. Pathetic. Good Lord. Just hand it to the Dodgers. Sick of this shit.
November 1, 2025 at 3:15 AM
Pathetic showing by the Blue Jays in the ninth. Pathetic. Good Lord. Just hand it to the Dodgers. Sick of this shit.
Annual Halloween Wikipedia dive to read about Bobby “Boris” Pickett’s many and increasingly more depressing tries to recapture the magic of Monster Mash
November 1, 2025 at 12:25 AM
Annual Halloween Wikipedia dive to read about Bobby “Boris” Pickett’s many and increasingly more depressing tries to recapture the magic of Monster Mash
After 14 years and 25,783 episodes, MTV has canceled “Ridiculousness”
October 31, 2025 at 10:17 PM
After 14 years and 25,783 episodes, MTV has canceled “Ridiculousness”
Sending love notes to the lady friend
October 30, 2025 at 4:55 AM
Sending love notes to the lady friend
I love the Blue Jays because they have multiple fat but athletic guys. As a fat unathletic guy, it’s nice to have my enemies at least pause and think “but what if he’s athletic?”
October 30, 2025 at 12:15 AM
I love the Blue Jays because they have multiple fat but athletic guys. As a fat unathletic guy, it’s nice to have my enemies at least pause and think “but what if he’s athletic?”
If you’re a Chiefs hater like I am, you might enjoy this photo of sad David Koechner* I took at the super bowl
*he was really nice and I’m a pos for taking this in his time of greatest need.
*he was really nice and I’m a pos for taking this in his time of greatest need.
October 28, 2025 at 1:58 AM
If you’re a Chiefs hater like I am, you might enjoy this photo of sad David Koechner* I took at the super bowl
*he was really nice and I’m a pos for taking this in his time of greatest need.
*he was really nice and I’m a pos for taking this in his time of greatest need.
Manscape a little. Like when they trim back the bushes around the base of a tree. It’ll look bigger. Try that.
October 27, 2025 at 4:52 AM
Manscape a little. Like when they trim back the bushes around the base of a tree. It’ll look bigger. Try that.
What idiot called it an outcall escort who has a driver and not Whore Dash
October 25, 2025 at 5:53 PM
What idiot called it an outcall escort who has a driver and not Whore Dash
sometimes when a task feels insurmountable I watch 747 landings at old Kai Tak airport in Hong Kong, now it doesn't feel that difficult
October 20, 2025 at 4:05 PM
sometimes when a task feels insurmountable I watch 747 landings at old Kai Tak airport in Hong Kong, now it doesn't feel that difficult
Honestly sitting here watching Florida State at Stanford fills me with more regret than sitting at Gypsy’s Roadhouse at 1:45 pm on a Tuesday
October 19, 2025 at 3:42 AM
Honestly sitting here watching Florida State at Stanford fills me with more regret than sitting at Gypsy’s Roadhouse at 1:45 pm on a Tuesday