🔫 climp
@climp.bsky.social
.·´¯`·.·★ ★·.·`¯´·.
Microsoft excel
Microsoft excel
[Guy who bought a grappling hook yesterday] No man it’s crazy i woke up and my gutters were just like that
February 12, 2026 at 6:45 PM
[Guy who bought a grappling hook yesterday] No man it’s crazy i woke up and my gutters were just like that
Reposted by 🔫 climp
the phrase ‘phone it in’ no longer makes sense bc making a phone call is one of the worst things you can be asked to do
February 12, 2026 at 2:47 AM
the phrase ‘phone it in’ no longer makes sense bc making a phone call is one of the worst things you can be asked to do
finally having the graphic talk about where old people come from
February 12, 2026 at 2:44 AM
finally having the graphic talk about where old people come from
[Grabbing the barber’s wrist] Remember your oath.
February 11, 2026 at 3:33 PM
[Grabbing the barber’s wrist] Remember your oath.
I believe Abraham Lincoln said “it best”
February 11, 2026 at 3:32 PM
I believe Abraham Lincoln said “it best”
Yes, I can hear you better now, thanks [LYING]
February 11, 2026 at 2:44 PM
Yes, I can hear you better now, thanks [LYING]
no way are centaurs flexible enough to wipe
February 11, 2026 at 12:51 AM
no way are centaurs flexible enough to wipe
Nothing about the Olympics coverage even hints at recent advancements in toothbrush technology
February 9, 2026 at 4:39 AM
Nothing about the Olympics coverage even hints at recent advancements in toothbrush technology
Rotating a skull in my mind and fucking up my entire face and head
February 9, 2026 at 2:44 AM
Rotating a skull in my mind and fucking up my entire face and head
[guy who thinks the middle east is the same as middle earth] we should bomb the middle east.
February 8, 2026 at 4:08 AM
[guy who thinks the middle east is the same as middle earth] we should bomb the middle east.
Pulling a police dog out of retirement for one last case after like a month
February 6, 2026 at 5:06 AM
Pulling a police dog out of retirement for one last case after like a month
See the phenomenon that’s making America say “I don’t think so, Tim”
February 6, 2026 at 4:49 AM
See the phenomenon that’s making America say “I don’t think so, Tim”
Guy doing my lethal injection just came out of the bathroom and his hands are totally dry
February 6, 2026 at 3:37 AM
Guy doing my lethal injection just came out of the bathroom and his hands are totally dry
Sorry doc but i didn’t come here just have you wave your fancy invoices at me
February 5, 2026 at 5:29 AM
Sorry doc but i didn’t come here just have you wave your fancy invoices at me
Blurry ass doctor without borders
February 5, 2026 at 5:20 AM
Blurry ass doctor without borders
Hiding the phone from your date while you discreetly google “spaghetti”
February 3, 2026 at 7:11 PM
Hiding the phone from your date while you discreetly google “spaghetti”
Glum kids on a bare slope love to see me roll up with a bucket of gravel marked “emergency scree”
February 3, 2026 at 4:32 PM
Glum kids on a bare slope love to see me roll up with a bucket of gravel marked “emergency scree”
I know the harvest festival is important and all but what if we tried something new? What if we took a little blood from a lot of people instead of a lot of blood from me?
February 2, 2026 at 9:17 PM
I know the harvest festival is important and all but what if we tried something new? What if we took a little blood from a lot of people instead of a lot of blood from me?
Scientists to accelerate more particles? A fed up public says "enough is enough"
January 30, 2026 at 6:56 PM
Scientists to accelerate more particles? A fed up public says "enough is enough"
[Engineer] Sir, users keep typing the word “a n d.” what could it be?
[Tim Cook] Ava
[Tim Cook] Abs
[Tim Cook] Ana
[Tim Cook] Ava
[Tim Cook] Abs
[Tim Cook] Ana
January 29, 2026 at 4:01 PM
[Engineer] Sir, users keep typing the word “a n d.” what could it be?
[Tim Cook] Ava
[Tim Cook] Abs
[Tim Cook] Ana
[Tim Cook] Ava
[Tim Cook] Abs
[Tim Cook] Ana
Hey man give me your coordinates. I’m not going to mess you or anything i just need your exact position on earth.
January 29, 2026 at 4:35 AM
Hey man give me your coordinates. I’m not going to mess you or anything i just need your exact position on earth.
My only skill is constructing wet paper bags big enough for me to crawl into.
January 29, 2026 at 1:54 AM
My only skill is constructing wet paper bags big enough for me to crawl into.
In 1994 Tom Hanks made movie history playing the groundbreaking role of Tim Robbins in The Shawshank Redemption
January 29, 2026 at 1:48 AM
In 1994 Tom Hanks made movie history playing the groundbreaking role of Tim Robbins in The Shawshank Redemption
It should come as no surprise to fans that the winner of this year's Kentucky Derby was, once again, a horse
January 28, 2026 at 2:00 AM
It should come as no surprise to fans that the winner of this year's Kentucky Derby was, once again, a horse