🔫 climp
@climp.bsky.social
.·´¯`·.·★ ★·.·`¯´·.
Microsoft excel
Microsoft excel
[Guy who’s only bit is bringing up Chicago style pizza so he can say that one Jon Stewart joke about casserole] So you guys ordering a pizza? From what city?
December 28, 2025 at 6:32 PM
[Guy who’s only bit is bringing up Chicago style pizza so he can say that one Jon Stewart joke about casserole] So you guys ordering a pizza? From what city?
If anything you backing away from me is what’s threatening
December 28, 2025 at 6:30 PM
If anything you backing away from me is what’s threatening
There’s more to the roller rink than just their ATM
December 28, 2025 at 1:57 AM
There’s more to the roller rink than just their ATM
2025 was a good year if you like months
December 28, 2025 at 12:17 AM
2025 was a good year if you like months
[ringing the neighbor’s doorbell with a toaster under my arm] merry christmas can i use your bathtub real quick
December 28, 2025 at 12:09 AM
[ringing the neighbor’s doorbell with a toaster under my arm] merry christmas can i use your bathtub real quick
If i fought a battle of the mind i would have crazy side effects. Everybody on the bus would know.
December 27, 2025 at 4:24 AM
If i fought a battle of the mind i would have crazy side effects. Everybody on the bus would know.
We should split up. We’ll cover more ground that way.
December 27, 2025 at 3:16 AM
We should split up. We’ll cover more ground that way.
“1024 1080 800 600 640 480 768 1440 4k 8k” - The Mute Lister’s Refrain
December 26, 2025 at 7:40 PM
“1024 1080 800 600 640 480 768 1440 4k 8k” - The Mute Lister’s Refrain
Look, Tiny Tim made it. Time of death, 12:05 December 26th.
December 26, 2025 at 4:25 AM
Look, Tiny Tim made it. Time of death, 12:05 December 26th.
Ran out of paper halfway through wrapping the predator statue and now i really wish I’d started from the top
December 24, 2025 at 7:32 PM
Ran out of paper halfway through wrapping the predator statue and now i really wish I’d started from the top
Strategically stacking the gifts so my wife opens the bullets first.
December 24, 2025 at 4:43 PM
Strategically stacking the gifts so my wife opens the bullets first.
we’re not having dessert until i finish my karate demonstration and I’m not starting my karate demonstration until *everybody* comes outside
December 24, 2025 at 1:02 AM
we’re not having dessert until i finish my karate demonstration and I’m not starting my karate demonstration until *everybody* comes outside
Taking down grandma’s door with a battering ram even though she invited us
December 23, 2025 at 5:53 AM
Taking down grandma’s door with a battering ram even though she invited us
I’m starting to wonder why the police even need my lip prints
December 22, 2025 at 5:07 PM
I’m starting to wonder why the police even need my lip prints
Going back home for Christmas means awkward conversations with high school friends turned common gear vendors
December 22, 2025 at 4:08 PM
Going back home for Christmas means awkward conversations with high school friends turned common gear vendors
Sometimes i think this is all too many
December 22, 2025 at 4:03 PM
Sometimes i think this is all too many
I feel like I'm taking regular pills!
December 22, 2025 at 3:53 PM
I feel like I'm taking regular pills!
Dating app that matches you alphabetically. Who even cares anymore.
December 20, 2025 at 6:44 PM
Dating app that matches you alphabetically. Who even cares anymore.
Dad always used to “time to go home? Five cigarettes.” Then he smoked five cigarettes. He had a few other sayings about smoking
December 20, 2025 at 3:58 AM
Dad always used to “time to go home? Five cigarettes.” Then he smoked five cigarettes. He had a few other sayings about smoking
Inviting a new friend over and high fiving him so hard his wife gasps
December 20, 2025 at 2:46 AM
Inviting a new friend over and high fiving him so hard his wife gasps
“North by northeast maybe?” - The Windguesser
December 20, 2025 at 2:37 AM
“North by northeast maybe?” - The Windguesser
Zipping around the office on my heelys. “Hot stuff comin through “ i say, though I’m not actually holding any soup. It’s just me
December 20, 2025 at 2:34 AM
Zipping around the office on my heelys. “Hot stuff comin through “ i say, though I’m not actually holding any soup. It’s just me
Race to the Bottom: The Sordid History of Me Falling Down This Staircase Again
December 18, 2025 at 3:12 AM
Race to the Bottom: The Sordid History of Me Falling Down This Staircase Again
[man with the most blockable opinions] lmao sure go ahead and block me lol. literally laughing to myself .
December 18, 2025 at 3:08 AM
[man with the most blockable opinions] lmao sure go ahead and block me lol. literally laughing to myself .