REMEMBER

Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will, but...

... so too does putting all your money into fell*tio-themed memecoins.

For those interested, my cat will be conducting a two-day workshop next week on "FINDING SUCCESS THROUGH NARCISSISM"

Space will be limited

Okay, how exactly can one get into the psyop racket?

It's not for me, my cat is the one who's curious.

I do not understand, with my security cams at home, I can see my cat take a dump in 4K resolution.

YET... whenever there is a high-profile crime in a major city, all the footage looks like it came from the security cam of a 7-Eleven in 1983.

CC's Log:

It must be day 3,201 since all I've had for sustenance has been the thermally processed muscle tissue of a dead turkey.

I do not know how much longer I can carry on like this.

What I wouldn't do for a chunk of bovine or swine flesh right now...

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If anybody is interested, I have a few bags of unused giblets priced to MOVE FAST

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This is a good time to remind everyone that the turkeys we will eat today have been sourced from avian penitentiaries and are birds that committed some of the most vile crimes imaginable.

So, eat with a clear conscious. Your juicy bird had it coming.

For the last 27 years, every time I tune into the Macy's Parade I ask myself, "where the f**k is Willard Scott?

Thanksgiving is always more joyful when you read your turkey's rap sheet after saying grace.

It is comforting to know that the big juicy bird not only filled your belly, but that in the process you took a dangerous monster off the streets.

If you haven't found that turkey baster that you lost in the cesspool that you call a bedroom by now, perhaps it's best to just buy a new one before Thursday

I'm just waiting for someone to say in my presence, "I'm all done with my Christmas shopping."

I swear, I'll b👀b slap that individual six ways from Sunday

Don't anybody dare tell me that soaking in a 55-gallon barrel full of your favorite flavor of 7-Eleven Slurpee is NOT medicinal

I dunno... this place doesn't seem to have that MySpace feel that I was so longing for