Chris
@chrislockefun.bsky.social
Comedian, actor, writer. Don’t discount me.
Pinned
Chris
@chrislockefun.bsky.social
· Jul 12
20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Today we have Johnny Hell, Bob Crap, And Steve Shit
Okay I've got consensus from others. Bluesky DOES suck. It's humourless. Even comedians are not funny on here. Very bizarre. You can hate me if I don't fit in it's okay and feel free to say "Well YOU are not funny so..." etc if you're offended. It's all good! Something's up with this place though ☮️
December 18, 2025 at 6:26 PM
Okay I've got consensus from others. Bluesky DOES suck. It's humourless. Even comedians are not funny on here. Very bizarre. You can hate me if I don't fit in it's okay and feel free to say "Well YOU are not funny so..." etc if you're offended. It's all good! Something's up with this place though ☮️
Is this clementine still good?
December 18, 2025 at 5:25 PM
Is this clementine still good?
Are these sausages still good?
December 18, 2025 at 4:45 PM
Are these sausages still good?
My algorithm seems to be dictated by my thoughts. I'm not joking. No one believes me. Everyone thinks I'm paranoid. But I'm not. I can remember the future!
December 18, 2025 at 3:11 PM
My algorithm seems to be dictated by my thoughts. I'm not joking. No one believes me. Everyone thinks I'm paranoid. But I'm not. I can remember the future!
Am I not following fun people on Bluesky or is the point of Bluesky to not be fun?
December 18, 2025 at 12:39 AM
Am I not following fun people on Bluesky or is the point of Bluesky to not be fun?
Mr Bean has big dick energy
December 17, 2025 at 11:38 PM
Mr Bean has big dick energy
Billy Bob Thornton, actor and drummer/vocals of The Boxmasters. I really look up to him
December 17, 2025 at 10:34 PM
Billy Bob Thornton, actor and drummer/vocals of The Boxmasters. I really look up to him
“Canada is like poutine with lots of gravy” - Chris Locke
December 17, 2025 at 5:33 PM
“Canada is like poutine with lots of gravy” - Chris Locke
I have fake gnomes on my windowsill at home. They are inanimate. But when I leave the house they do stuff. I just know it. I found melted chocolate and some scrambled eggs in a frying pan this afternoon
December 16, 2025 at 7:31 PM
I have fake gnomes on my windowsill at home. They are inanimate. But when I leave the house they do stuff. I just know it. I found melted chocolate and some scrambled eggs in a frying pan this afternoon
Should I make a thirst trap profile pic to increase engagement?
December 16, 2025 at 4:16 PM
Should I make a thirst trap profile pic to increase engagement?
Everything is propaganda when you think about it- to keep us docile and complacent so we don’t rise up and tear this whole place apart. Also here's a great recipe for maple roasted nuts: 2 cups nuts (walnuts, pecans, almonds), 1/4 cup maple syrup, 1/8 teaspoon salt, 1 tablespoon sesame seeds
December 16, 2025 at 4:02 PM
Everything is propaganda when you think about it- to keep us docile and complacent so we don’t rise up and tear this whole place apart. Also here's a great recipe for maple roasted nuts: 2 cups nuts (walnuts, pecans, almonds), 1/4 cup maple syrup, 1/8 teaspoon salt, 1 tablespoon sesame seeds
Maybe every human being has been dumb and evil since the beginning of time? I'm just trying to figure things out
December 16, 2025 at 12:22 AM
Maybe every human being has been dumb and evil since the beginning of time? I'm just trying to figure things out
Deep cut but Rod Stieger in Fistful Of Dynamite sounds like Billy Crystal doing Fernando Lamas
December 14, 2025 at 4:23 PM
Deep cut but Rod Stieger in Fistful Of Dynamite sounds like Billy Crystal doing Fernando Lamas
Nosferatu is MY Batman
December 13, 2025 at 11:20 PM
Nosferatu is MY Batman
You know what - in those vids when a dad shaves his beard off and then his kids start crying... f**k you, kids
December 13, 2025 at 2:05 PM
You know what - in those vids when a dad shaves his beard off and then his kids start crying... f**k you, kids
Delicious! I’m dead! Hi I’m Chris. Maybe I should start from the beginning. 2 onion bhajias, 2 scoops chicken curry, a scoop chana masala, a quarter piece naan, some rice, 2 glasses white wine… cats meowing…… dizzy… the sun set somewhere I’m sure but in Canada you don’t know for 8 months
December 13, 2025 at 3:44 AM
Delicious! I’m dead! Hi I’m Chris. Maybe I should start from the beginning. 2 onion bhajias, 2 scoops chicken curry, a scoop chana masala, a quarter piece naan, some rice, 2 glasses white wine… cats meowing…… dizzy… the sun set somewhere I’m sure but in Canada you don’t know for 8 months
Stand up is hard to do these days cause humans are shit dumb creatures now not unlike the gremlins. You’re setting up a premise and audience members are spinning on a ceiling fan, throwing pint glasses at the wall, hitting each other with frying pans etc
December 12, 2025 at 2:17 PM
Stand up is hard to do these days cause humans are shit dumb creatures now not unlike the gremlins. You’re setting up a premise and audience members are spinning on a ceiling fan, throwing pint glasses at the wall, hitting each other with frying pans etc
That’d be sick if Lee Renaldo from Sonic Youth was super jacked like Mark Wahlberg. Super sick eh just ripped
December 12, 2025 at 2:23 AM
That’d be sick if Lee Renaldo from Sonic Youth was super jacked like Mark Wahlberg. Super sick eh just ripped
Get you a President who looks at you like Blackbeard the pirate
December 11, 2025 at 9:02 PM
Get you a President who looks at you like Blackbeard the pirate
I ate the other half of the bagel this morning with butter AND crunchy peanut butter plus coffee. What’d you have?
December 11, 2025 at 2:22 PM
I ate the other half of the bagel this morning with butter AND crunchy peanut butter plus coffee. What’d you have?
I'm writing a new novel called: I'm In A f**kin' Boat With A F**kin' Tiger
December 10, 2025 at 11:59 PM
I'm writing a new novel called: I'm In A f**kin' Boat With A F**kin' Tiger
Were they punching Rocky in the head for real in those movies?
December 10, 2025 at 8:49 PM
Were they punching Rocky in the head for real in those movies?
Over the last month or so Dumb by Nirvana has become my favourite song. Does this make sense to you?
December 10, 2025 at 6:22 PM
Over the last month or so Dumb by Nirvana has become my favourite song. Does this make sense to you?
I ate half a bagel with butter AND crunchy peanut butter. What did you have?
December 10, 2025 at 1:17 PM
I ate half a bagel with butter AND crunchy peanut butter. What did you have?