David Furniture
@cheeseboygers.bsky.social
[high-pitched grinding noises] (he/him)
turns out they can't do anything about the turkeys anyway because each was torn apart by a german shepherd within minutes of being pardoned
November 29, 2025 at 1:34 PM
turns out they can't do anything about the turkeys anyway because each was torn apart by a german shepherd within minutes of being pardoned
my ass is a doorbuster
November 29, 2025 at 12:54 PM
my ass is a doorbuster
😯😯😯VERY MUCH MY SHIT😯😯😯
It's Thanksgiving and I'm feeling generous so here's Busta Rhymes and the TMNT
November 27, 2025 at 5:53 PM
😯😯😯VERY MUCH MY SHIT😯😯😯
HOW DARE ANY OF YOU ASSHOLES TRY TO LECTURE ME ABOUT THE APPROPRIATE USE OF 'SCHWEPPERVESCENCE'
November 25, 2025 at 3:27 PM
HOW DARE ANY OF YOU ASSHOLES TRY TO LECTURE ME ABOUT THE APPROPRIATE USE OF 'SCHWEPPERVESCENCE'
there is a heavy sigh hidden in every one of my posts. see if you can figure out where!
November 25, 2025 at 2:10 PM
there is a heavy sigh hidden in every one of my posts. see if you can figure out where!
a television fell on my head when i was 4
November 22, 2025 at 11:48 PM
a television fell on my head when i was 4
we saw you from across the marsh and really dig your vibe
November 19, 2025 at 11:27 PM
we saw you from across the marsh and really dig your vibe
i am going to become the woker
Trump on AI: "You can't go through 50 states. You have to get one approval. 50 is a disaster. Because you'll have one woke state and you'll have to do all woke. You'll be back in the woke business. We don't have woke anymore in this country. It's virtually illegal. You'll have a couple of wokesters"
November 19, 2025 at 9:26 PM
i am going to become the woker
i would absolutely subscribe* to a streaming service to watch this.
*- activate a free trial and promptly cancel
*- activate a free trial and promptly cancel
Vivziepop should stop making Hazbin Hotel and work for me making the Pervy Phantom animated series
November 19, 2025 at 4:16 PM
i would absolutely subscribe* to a streaming service to watch this.
*- activate a free trial and promptly cancel
*- activate a free trial and promptly cancel
i'd never made a lidded bowl before (or maybe it becomes a pot when lidded?). this one is khaya & granadillo. it was finicky, turned out a bit janky, and is probably too short to hold much, but now i've made one. i've passed through another ontological membrane, and now i'm all sticky.
#woodturning
#woodturning
November 19, 2025 at 3:19 PM
i'd never made a lidded bowl before (or maybe it becomes a pot when lidded?). this one is khaya & granadillo. it was finicky, turned out a bit janky, and is probably too short to hold much, but now i've made one. i've passed through another ontological membrane, and now i'm all sticky.
#woodturning
#woodturning
ok i think this evening's revelations are a decent enough use case good job everyone clap it up
someone better at this than me should figure out what to do with this 👍
November 18, 2025 at 3:21 AM
ok i think this evening's revelations are a decent enough use case good job everyone clap it up
holy shit a literal budgie smuggler!
November 18, 2025 at 2:38 AM
holy shit a literal budgie smuggler!
[zooming in on the dark spot shaped quite a bit like the wheelbarrow gamepiece from monopoly in my latest brain scan]
me: baby, don't worry. it's not a wheelbarrow token from the popular board game monopoly.
the journalist writing a profile on me: i must have you.
me: baby, don't worry. it's not a wheelbarrow token from the popular board game monopoly.
the journalist writing a profile on me: i must have you.
November 17, 2025 at 1:39 PM
[zooming in on the dark spot shaped quite a bit like the wheelbarrow gamepiece from monopoly in my latest brain scan]
me: baby, don't worry. it's not a wheelbarrow token from the popular board game monopoly.
the journalist writing a profile on me: i must have you.
me: baby, don't worry. it's not a wheelbarrow token from the popular board game monopoly.
the journalist writing a profile on me: i must have you.
someone better at this than me should figure out what to do with this 👍
November 17, 2025 at 1:18 PM
someone better at this than me should figure out what to do with this 👍
new vagus nerve who dis
November 17, 2025 at 9:11 AM
new vagus nerve who dis
inside you there are two smurfs...
November 17, 2025 at 4:05 AM
inside you there are two smurfs...
perfect example of my executive dysfunction: i always forget and finish the glass of water before i even start eating the roll of pennies
November 16, 2025 at 1:30 AM
perfect example of my executive dysfunction: i always forget and finish the glass of water before i even start eating the roll of pennies
the train conductor asked me if i smelled play-doh, and even though i didn't, i said i did. first little white lie in a while. still got it.
November 14, 2025 at 10:41 PM
the train conductor asked me if i smelled play-doh, and even though i didn't, i said i did. first little white lie in a while. still got it.
life's rich pageant
November 14, 2025 at 5:41 PM
life's rich pageant
i thought- I had tsuris
November 14, 2025 at 5:05 PM
i thought- I had tsuris
the gossamer veil: ...well i'm sure you'll have plenty of time to finish your memoirs... *in jail*...
the autobiographer: GODDAMMIT, I HATE JAIL!
the autobiographer: GODDAMMIT, I HATE JAIL!
November 14, 2025 at 12:01 PM
the gossamer veil: ...well i'm sure you'll have plenty of time to finish your memoirs... *in jail*...
the autobiographer: GODDAMMIT, I HATE JAIL!
the autobiographer: GODDAMMIT, I HATE JAIL!