Chris Morton
@ccmort.bsky.social
Sauntering vaguely downward but aspiring to be better. Home gardener, games of all kinds, chaotic good but only half the time. IT professional and Dad to two boys
The fall rituals are almost over. Soon to be ‘steezy shredding’ (says the younger boy)
November 23, 2025 at 6:06 PM
The fall rituals are almost over. Soon to be ‘steezy shredding’ (says the younger boy)
Yes finally killed the boss to get into the citadel! Wait what? He explodes?!? That’s just dirty 😂
(Reason #15347 I love this game) #silksong
(Reason #15347 I love this game) #silksong
September 17, 2025 at 5:12 PM
Yes finally killed the boss to get into the citadel! Wait what? He explodes?!? That’s just dirty 😂
(Reason #15347 I love this game) #silksong
(Reason #15347 I love this game) #silksong
Reposted by Chris Morton
the golden girls take over films: thread
June 21, 2025 at 8:37 PM
the golden girls take over films: thread
Bunny decided that one of my grow bags was the perfect place to have her babies. No peas this year I guess #gardening
a white rabbit is standing in the grass and eating grass .
ALT: a white rabbit is standing in the grass and eating grass .
media.tenor.com
June 17, 2025 at 11:38 AM
Bunny decided that one of my grow bags was the perfect place to have her babies. No peas this year I guess #gardening
Dentist also did X-rays. He smiled, paused and then made a deposit on a new ski house in Park City
May 19, 2025 at 4:40 PM
Dentist also did X-rays. He smiled, paused and then made a deposit on a new ski house in Park City
I swear my dentist chuckles every time I wince in pain. To be fair, can’t imagine a lot of laughs looking in people’s mouths.
May 19, 2025 at 4:31 PM
I swear my dentist chuckles every time I wince in pain. To be fair, can’t imagine a lot of laughs looking in people’s mouths.
With the heaviest, snarkiest, side-eye wink, while using exaggerated air quotes, my 12 year old said he wanted the ‘Easter bunny’ to bring specific candy this year.
I told him, with comparable snark, that the bunny told me to tell him to do more work around the house and stop complaining.
I told him, with comparable snark, that the bunny told me to tell him to do more work around the house and stop complaining.
April 18, 2025 at 9:49 PM
With the heaviest, snarkiest, side-eye wink, while using exaggerated air quotes, my 12 year old said he wanted the ‘Easter bunny’ to bring specific candy this year.
I told him, with comparable snark, that the bunny told me to tell him to do more work around the house and stop complaining.
I told him, with comparable snark, that the bunny told me to tell him to do more work around the house and stop complaining.
Just had a full on conversation with two rabbits in the yard. They seemed to agree that they won’t eat my plants this year and instead we can form a bond over shared hatred of our neighbors. Time will tell
April 10, 2025 at 10:35 PM
Just had a full on conversation with two rabbits in the yard. They seemed to agree that they won’t eat my plants this year and instead we can form a bond over shared hatred of our neighbors. Time will tell
It’s ‘Fill anything you can with dirt’ time of year to make space for growing seedlings.
April 10, 2025 at 10:25 PM
It’s ‘Fill anything you can with dirt’ time of year to make space for growing seedlings.
Today is the day I’ll be better I swear. I won’t forget things, won’t overlook others.
Splashing noise coming from the bathroom followed by a scream.l of anger.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow is the day I’ll be better…
Splashing noise coming from the bathroom followed by a scream.l of anger.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow is the day I’ll be better…
March 1, 2025 at 5:22 PM
Today is the day I’ll be better I swear. I won’t forget things, won’t overlook others.
Splashing noise coming from the bathroom followed by a scream.l of anger.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow is the day I’ll be better…
Splashing noise coming from the bathroom followed by a scream.l of anger.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow is the day I’ll be better…
Reposted by Chris Morton
I can't stop laughing at this man I'm sorry. This is the kind of shit the biggest loser in the world would say to their girlfriend about buying her flowers on Valentine's Day once, and he's doing so in an argument that started because he called her a bitch
March 1, 2025 at 2:49 PM
I can't stop laughing at this man I'm sorry. This is the kind of shit the biggest loser in the world would say to their girlfriend about buying her flowers on Valentine's Day once, and he's doing so in an argument that started because he called her a bitch
Reposted by Chris Morton
Went skiing for 6 hours. I feel like Tanya Harding sent a few guys with pipes to wail on my legs #gettingold
February 21, 2025 at 4:08 AM
Went skiing for 6 hours. I feel like Tanya Harding sent a few guys with pipes to wail on my legs #gettingold
Reposted by Chris Morton
celebrities dressed like miss piggy: thread
February 7, 2025 at 8:07 PM
celebrities dressed like miss piggy: thread
My son got this cool VR headset for Christmas and being the amazing gamer dad I tried it on and it looked amazing…until I tried moving around. I almost threw up on the spot. -1000 cool pts
January 14, 2025 at 10:19 PM
My son got this cool VR headset for Christmas and being the amazing gamer dad I tried it on and it looked amazing…until I tried moving around. I almost threw up on the spot. -1000 cool pts
I keep staring at the pics I took from #wndrboston thankful I am now aware that Yayoi Kusama exists
January 13, 2025 at 3:11 AM
I keep staring at the pics I took from #wndrboston thankful I am now aware that Yayoi Kusama exists
Getting more nervous about my son starting to drive soon. That nervousness is vastly outweighed by the relief of never having to pick him up from a friends house at midnight ever again.
December 30, 2024 at 4:18 AM
Getting more nervous about my son starting to drive soon. That nervousness is vastly outweighed by the relief of never having to pick him up from a friends house at midnight ever again.
Me: so sorry I’m exhausted, let’s catch up tomorrow
Also me: sure I’ll watch another episode, it’s only 2am.
Next day me: yeah so I’m like soooo tired tonight, think I’m just going to bed early…
Also me: sure I’ll watch another episode, it’s only 2am.
Next day me: yeah so I’m like soooo tired tonight, think I’m just going to bed early…
December 17, 2024 at 5:14 AM
Me: so sorry I’m exhausted, let’s catch up tomorrow
Also me: sure I’ll watch another episode, it’s only 2am.
Next day me: yeah so I’m like soooo tired tonight, think I’m just going to bed early…
Also me: sure I’ll watch another episode, it’s only 2am.
Next day me: yeah so I’m like soooo tired tonight, think I’m just going to bed early…
Reposted by Chris Morton
they’ll figure it out if they get hungry enough
November 25, 2024 at 1:04 AM
they’ll figure it out if they get hungry enough
Is it too early to open up the can of cranberry sauce now? You know…just to see if it’s bad?
November 24, 2024 at 9:23 PM
Is it too early to open up the can of cranberry sauce now? You know…just to see if it’s bad?
Trying to remain positive about life, the universe and everything. I’d settle for a slice of friendly’s watermelon roll but it no longer exists
November 13, 2024 at 9:59 PM
Trying to remain positive about life, the universe and everything. I’d settle for a slice of friendly’s watermelon roll but it no longer exists
This is the year I’ll roast a chestnut and somehow the world will be alright again
December 22, 2023 at 12:44 AM
This is the year I’ll roast a chestnut and somehow the world will be alright again
A man my age enthusiastically whistled to a few straight Xmas tunes in target yesterday. I contemplated slapping him amidst the piles of empty/broken boxes of lights, a stray stuffed animal and four hundred plastic candy canes filled with skittles.
December 22, 2023 at 12:42 AM
A man my age enthusiastically whistled to a few straight Xmas tunes in target yesterday. I contemplated slapping him amidst the piles of empty/broken boxes of lights, a stray stuffed animal and four hundred plastic candy canes filled with skittles.