Cara Sutra
@carasutra.bsky.social
UK-based, 40+ woman navigating midlife, perimenopause, chronic illness, trauma therapy & healing. Sharing personal & sex blog updates, BDSM/FemDom/male chastity interests. Spoonie. deaf 🦻 She/her. LGBTQIA+ 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
Blog & links https://carasutra.com/start-page/
Blog & links https://carasutra.com/start-page/
Pinned
Cara Sutra
@carasutra.bsky.social
· Jan 6
Cara Sutra Blog And Adult Product Reviews
Strictly 18+ blog by Cara Sutra. Discover educational and entertaining articles on the subject of sex & sexuality, plus adult product reviews.
carasutra.com
Hi! 👋 I'm a UK-based, 40+ woman navigating midlife, perimenopause, chronic illness, trauma therapy & healing.
Sharing personal updates plus my sex blog posts, BDSM/FemDom/male chastity interests.
Spoonie. She/her. LGBTQIA+ 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
All my links 👉 carasutra.com/start-page/
Blog 👉 carasutra.com
Sharing personal updates plus my sex blog posts, BDSM/FemDom/male chastity interests.
Spoonie. She/her. LGBTQIA+ 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
All my links 👉 carasutra.com/start-page/
Blog 👉 carasutra.com
Posts like that are so hard to edit or re-read because the tears just start again
February 13, 2026 at 3:26 PM
Posts like that are so hard to edit or re-read because the tears just start again
All the things that happened behind the scenes across 17 years of polished persona sex blogging.
The hardest post I’ve ever written. But with it, catharsis.
There are so many content and trigger warnings for this piece I can’t fit them all here. Go gently.
carasutra.com/2026/02/beyo...
The hardest post I’ve ever written. But with it, catharsis.
There are so many content and trigger warnings for this piece I can’t fit them all here. Go gently.
carasutra.com/2026/02/beyo...
Beyond the Sex Blogger Label: Revealing the Rest of Me
For years I only shared the sexy version of my life. This is everything I didn’t share. The truth behind the sex blogger label.
carasutra.com
February 13, 2026 at 3:17 PM
All the things that happened behind the scenes across 17 years of polished persona sex blogging.
The hardest post I’ve ever written. But with it, catharsis.
There are so many content and trigger warnings for this piece I can’t fit them all here. Go gently.
carasutra.com/2026/02/beyo...
The hardest post I’ve ever written. But with it, catharsis.
There are so many content and trigger warnings for this piece I can’t fit them all here. Go gently.
carasutra.com/2026/02/beyo...
Some ideas for sweetly romantic things to do together if money is tight (that aren't just 'stay in bed and have sex' 🤭)
carasutra.com/2024/02/10-c...
carasutra.com/2024/02/10-c...
10 Cheap Romantic Ideas: Romance on a Budget
Want to be more romantic but money is tight? Improve your relationship & discover my 10 cheap romantic ideas for hot romance on a budget!
carasutra.com
February 12, 2026 at 9:28 PM
Some ideas for sweetly romantic things to do together if money is tight (that aren't just 'stay in bed and have sex' 🤭)
carasutra.com/2024/02/10-c...
carasutra.com/2024/02/10-c...
Heading on a date this Valentine's and not sure what to talk about?
Chat inspiration doesn't come easy when you're nervous.
I put together this handy list of conversation starters to help:
carasutra.com/2023/02/25-c...
Chat inspiration doesn't come easy when you're nervous.
I put together this handy list of conversation starters to help:
carasutra.com/2023/02/25-c...
25 Conversation Starters For Your First Date: A Handy List
Nervous about a first time dating experience? Enjoy my handy list of 25 conversation starters for your first date -no more awkward silences!
carasutra.com
February 12, 2026 at 7:21 PM
Heading on a date this Valentine's and not sure what to talk about?
Chat inspiration doesn't come easy when you're nervous.
I put together this handy list of conversation starters to help:
carasutra.com/2023/02/25-c...
Chat inspiration doesn't come easy when you're nervous.
I put together this handy list of conversation starters to help:
carasutra.com/2023/02/25-c...
Searching for the holy grail: sexy, comfortable lingerie. Does it even exist?
Here I share my tips for finding undies that don't just look good, they FEEL good too.
carasutra.com/2024/11/your...
Here I share my tips for finding undies that don't just look good, they FEEL good too.
carasutra.com/2024/11/your...
Your Guide to Buying Comfortable Sexy Lingerie
So many lingerie recs out there, but how do you know it will fit YOU & be comfy? Welcome to my guide to buying COMFORTABLE sexy lingerie!
carasutra.com
February 12, 2026 at 12:39 PM
Searching for the holy grail: sexy, comfortable lingerie. Does it even exist?
Here I share my tips for finding undies that don't just look good, they FEEL good too.
carasutra.com/2024/11/your...
Here I share my tips for finding undies that don't just look good, they FEEL good too.
carasutra.com/2024/11/your...
I'm writing a personal post on the blog which makes the one about my low libido seem easy.
February 12, 2026 at 11:22 AM
I'm writing a personal post on the blog which makes the one about my low libido seem easy.
Some ideas for writing a love letter that captures and communicates your feelings for them. 📝💕
carasutra.com/2025/02/how-...
carasutra.com/2025/02/how-...
How to Write a Love Letter That Captures Your True Feelings
Click to discover 8 tips to help you write a love letter that captures your true feelings for your partner, that they will treasure forever!
carasutra.com
February 12, 2026 at 9:36 AM
Some ideas for writing a love letter that captures and communicates your feelings for them. 📝💕
carasutra.com/2025/02/how-...
carasutra.com/2025/02/how-...
What about what happens afterwards?
This week, I wrote about turning the 'lone waddle of shame' into shared, memorable intimacy.
How to make the practical parts of post-sex clean-up tender and loving.
carasutra.com/2026/02/clea...
This week, I wrote about turning the 'lone waddle of shame' into shared, memorable intimacy.
How to make the practical parts of post-sex clean-up tender and loving.
carasutra.com/2026/02/clea...
Turning Post-Sex Clean-Up Into Intimate Reconnection
What happens after sex matters. From bed to bathroom, this explores how clean-up can become part of intimacy, not the end of it.
carasutra.com
February 11, 2026 at 9:28 PM
What about what happens afterwards?
This week, I wrote about turning the 'lone waddle of shame' into shared, memorable intimacy.
How to make the practical parts of post-sex clean-up tender and loving.
carasutra.com/2026/02/clea...
This week, I wrote about turning the 'lone waddle of shame' into shared, memorable intimacy.
How to make the practical parts of post-sex clean-up tender and loving.
carasutra.com/2026/02/clea...
It's Valentine's Day this weekend.
I hear a lot about demonstrating your love for your partner, but what about when love feels difficult to believe in, difficult to accept?
carasutra.com/2026/01/acce...
I hear a lot about demonstrating your love for your partner, but what about when love feels difficult to believe in, difficult to accept?
carasutra.com/2026/01/acce...
Trusting That I’m Loved When I Struggle to Love Myself
My honest reflections on why I struggle to feel deserving of love, and what it means to learn to trust it after a lifetime of bracing for the fall.
carasutra.com
February 11, 2026 at 7:21 PM
It's Valentine's Day this weekend.
I hear a lot about demonstrating your love for your partner, but what about when love feels difficult to believe in, difficult to accept?
carasutra.com/2026/01/acce...
I hear a lot about demonstrating your love for your partner, but what about when love feels difficult to believe in, difficult to accept?
carasutra.com/2026/01/acce...
There's no grit or shock in AI 'writing'. It is so intent on being inoffensive that it engenders no real feeling or emotion at all.
It's empty, lifeless.
A drained, flaccid penis of writing, if you will, as opposed to a surging, lust-driven phallus.
It's empty, lifeless.
A drained, flaccid penis of writing, if you will, as opposed to a surging, lust-driven phallus.
Jacked off so much, I started writing erotica to at least engage my mind while I beat it. Ended up finding a groove, and made actual money from commissions. Sadly, the AI boom smothered my dream in its cradle.
February 11, 2026 at 3:11 PM
There's no grit or shock in AI 'writing'. It is so intent on being inoffensive that it engenders no real feeling or emotion at all.
It's empty, lifeless.
A drained, flaccid penis of writing, if you will, as opposed to a surging, lust-driven phallus.
It's empty, lifeless.
A drained, flaccid penis of writing, if you will, as opposed to a surging, lust-driven phallus.
Writing with a Spine: Imposter syndrome, identity shifts, courage, worth.
Writing With a Spine: Impostor Syndrome and the Unpublished Writer
A personal essay on writing, imposter syndrome and finding legitimacy, boundaries and backbone in a world that values books over lived truth.
carasutra.com
February 11, 2026 at 12:41 PM
Writing with a Spine: Imposter syndrome, identity shifts, courage, worth.
On living with low libido. Perhaps the 'fix' is not trying to fix it.
No advice, just where I'm at right now.
This was a difficult one to write.
carasutra.com/2026/01/livi...
No advice, just where I'm at right now.
This was a difficult one to write.
carasutra.com/2026/01/livi...
Living with Low Libido in Midlife: Where I Am Right Now
It’s time to tell you all the things I haven’t been saying. A quiet, honest look at low libido, midlife, and where I am right now.
carasutra.com
February 11, 2026 at 9:36 AM
On living with low libido. Perhaps the 'fix' is not trying to fix it.
No advice, just where I'm at right now.
This was a difficult one to write.
carasutra.com/2026/01/livi...
No advice, just where I'm at right now.
This was a difficult one to write.
carasutra.com/2026/01/livi...
Watched the first couple of episodes of Star Trek: Starfleet Academy last night, and really enjoyed them.
Fun series so far, with laugh out loud moments as well as usual ST drama! 🌠😊
PS. Where's Tilly?! 🤔
#StarTrek #StarfleetAcademy #WhatImWatching #Trekkie #SciFi
Fun series so far, with laugh out loud moments as well as usual ST drama! 🌠😊
PS. Where's Tilly?! 🤔
#StarTrek #StarfleetAcademy #WhatImWatching #Trekkie #SciFi
February 11, 2026 at 8:52 AM
Watched the first couple of episodes of Star Trek: Starfleet Academy last night, and really enjoyed them.
Fun series so far, with laugh out loud moments as well as usual ST drama! 🌠😊
PS. Where's Tilly?! 🤔
#StarTrek #StarfleetAcademy #WhatImWatching #Trekkie #SciFi
Fun series so far, with laugh out loud moments as well as usual ST drama! 🌠😊
PS. Where's Tilly?! 🤔
#StarTrek #StarfleetAcademy #WhatImWatching #Trekkie #SciFi
On loving winter: the slower pace, and permission to rest
Reasons to Love Winter: Deeper than Snowflake Aesthetics
Why I love winter as a season of rest, slowness, and survival, beyond cosy aesthetics and seasonal performance.
carasutra.com
February 10, 2026 at 9:35 PM
On loving winter: the slower pace, and permission to rest
This is how I plan to protect my energy this year. Not always succeeding, but at least I'm trying, I guess.
How I’m Protecting My Energy In 2026
How I’m protecting my energy in 2026 by learning to listen to myself, respect my limits, and rest. My priorities and what I’m letting go.
carasutra.com
February 10, 2026 at 7:21 PM
This is how I plan to protect my energy this year. Not always succeeding, but at least I'm trying, I guess.
Reposted by Cara Sutra
I've written a companion piece to the above, offering some practical tips when it comes to post-sex clean-up:
carasutra.com/2026/02/clea...
carasutra.com/2026/02/clea...
Turning Post-Sex Clean-Up Into Intimate Reconnection
What happens after sex matters. From bed to bathroom, this explores how clean-up can become part of intimacy, not the end of it.
carasutra.com
February 10, 2026 at 1:42 PM
I've written a companion piece to the above, offering some practical tips when it comes to post-sex clean-up:
carasutra.com/2026/02/clea...
carasutra.com/2026/02/clea...
Fuck diet culture 🤷♀️
New Year Weight Loss Plans? Why I’m Choosing Nourishment Over Diets This January
A rallying cry against January diet culture and new year weight loss plans. Choosing nourishment, self-trust, and kindness over punishment.
carasutra.com
February 10, 2026 at 12:34 PM
Fuck diet culture 🤷♀️
Felt dizzy all yesterday and was so upset about my ongoing illnesses. Feel so betrayed by my own body tbh. Upsetting.
Anyway, slept well last night for a change, and feel more positive today.
#ChronicIllness #Disability #Spoonie
Anyway, slept well last night for a change, and feel more positive today.
#ChronicIllness #Disability #Spoonie
February 10, 2026 at 9:57 AM
Felt dizzy all yesterday and was so upset about my ongoing illnesses. Feel so betrayed by my own body tbh. Upsetting.
Anyway, slept well last night for a change, and feel more positive today.
#ChronicIllness #Disability #Spoonie
Anyway, slept well last night for a change, and feel more positive today.
#ChronicIllness #Disability #Spoonie
Why I decided to go sober for the rest of my life
My Sobriety: Choosing the Sober Life When You’re Not an Alcoholic
My sobriety & choosing the sober life when you’re not an alcoholic. I’ve been sober almost 2 years, find out WHY & what I’ve learned so far!
carasutra.com
February 9, 2026 at 9:28 PM
Why I decided to go sober for the rest of my life
Letting myself feel sadness without guilt
Allowing Sadness Without Guilt: Why I Let Myself Feel Sad
Exploring sadness: Why I let myself feel sad, and the mental & physical benefits of allowing sadness in your life without any guilt.
carasutra.com
February 9, 2026 at 7:21 PM
Letting myself feel sadness without guilt
All these chatGPT caricatures have me feeling all kinds of 😬
February 9, 2026 at 12:57 PM
All these chatGPT caricatures have me feeling all kinds of 😬
On being deaf: living with bilateral progressive hearing loss
Being deaf: High-Frequency Hearing Loss & Me
In this personal post, I write about being deaf, my high-frequency hearing loss & my deafness experiences in the UK. Plus, my shiny new hearing aids!
carasutra.com
February 9, 2026 at 12:32 PM
On being deaf: living with bilateral progressive hearing loss
How perimenopause started for me
Hello Perimenopause | The Struggle To Be Believed & Get HRT
I didn’t ‘reach’ perimenopause so much as it hunted me down & attacked me. My story: symptoms, struggle to be believed & get prescribed HRT.
carasutra.com
February 9, 2026 at 9:36 AM
How perimenopause started for me
Therapy again this morning.
I cried during, and I cried afterwards.
Perhaps it is progress
I cried during, and I cried afterwards.
Perhaps it is progress
February 7, 2026 at 3:00 PM
Therapy again this morning.
I cried during, and I cried afterwards.
Perhaps it is progress
I cried during, and I cried afterwards.
Perhaps it is progress