Kirk Ahrens
banner
captkirk.bsky.social
Kirk Ahrens
@captkirk.bsky.social
He Him. Love you.
With all due reverence...

What the fuck is the McDonald's Impact Summit?!!?
Trump: "They saw a lot of unbelievable activity at the McDonald's next to the base where they take off. The McDonald's was doing -- right? -- 5 times, they were going crazy. So they say 'there's something going on over there.' The biggest activity that McDonald's had ever had. It was a nice story."
November 18, 2025 at 5:13 PM
Talking about diminishing returns in naughty shopping list form.
The inbox is surreal. Epstein made more than 600 Amazon purchases, including:

• A leather bullwhip
• Girls’ school uniforms
• A prostate massager
• An FBI agent costume
• Size 12 Crocs
• Nilla Wafers
September 11, 2025 at 2:38 PM
Mulholland Drive?
June 27, 2025 at 1:04 PM
Late spring dinosaurs
June 13, 2025 at 9:13 PM
In 01, vacay in NY with @thedicebagdungeon.bsky.social . Pop on TV, see SNL sketch where Lipton interviews Screech "Saved by the Bell." (Tobey Maguire). All week imitating TM's Screech.

Leaving, waiting 4 cab. Dustin Diamond walks in, chats with manager. !! "Screech..is right..behind us!"
Right folks. Feeling rather down at the moment so bringing back an oldie

Please Quote this with your most minor celebrity interaction
June 13, 2025 at 11:21 AM
She's back!
April 25, 2025 at 10:28 PM
Fuuuuuuuuck youuuuu
I would have voted yes. They called a procedural vote without notice & I like 8 others didn’t make it there on time. Musk’s attacks on our institutions are unconstitutional. He should be subpoenaed & answer to our committee. They should call the vote again with notice.
Hey @rokhanna.bsky.social , we know you rep Silicon Valley — but care to explain? 🤔
February 6, 2025 at 7:57 PM
All the Bluesky commies are roasting this turd for kissing Musk's ass last week. Nice.
Hardworking Amazon drivers and warehouse workers deserve a fair contract. Amazon needs to come to the table and negotiate. I'm proud to stand in solidarity with the Teamsters.
December 20, 2024 at 9:00 PM
Another dinosaur here, at over time park.
November 22, 2024 at 9:33 PM
I never cared about Citizens United because I felt like the existence of Fox News, a strictly propaganda channel, meant the game was given away already. But I kinda feel now if Murdoch and every one of his employees called in sick for the rest of time, Joe Rogan and YouTube would say, we got this.
November 7, 2024 at 6:35 PM
Absolutely shut the fuck up.
npr.org NPR @npr.org · Oct 28
Republican president nominee Donald Trump put on a splashy rally at New York's hallmark Madison Square Garden, but repeated insults and at times racist and misogynistic remarks from guest speakers threatened to grab the most attention.
Off-color jokes, vitriol take over Trump Madison Square Garden rally
Republican president nominee Donald Trump put on a splashy rally at New York's hallmark Madison Square Garden, but repeated insults and at times racist and misogynistic remarks from guest speakers threatened to grab the most attention.
www.npr.org
October 28, 2024 at 6:26 PM
I called my father to wish him a happy 75th birthday. He reported disappointment in the Marlins and dolphins and said, here's your mother. It took him 3 minutes.
September 26, 2024 at 12:05 AM
Bluesky now has over 10 million users, and I was #1,426,882!

Am I like, silent generation? Boomer? This may not be the brag I was hoping for...
September 17, 2024 at 11:17 AM
What a day. My company is owned by Lehman Brothers and I missed my primary voting day.
August 20, 2024 at 11:10 PM
Joe, do the funny thing.
July 11, 2024 at 4:59 PM
Deftly navigating a casual get together of old dinosaurs.
June 19, 2024 at 5:35 PM
Reposted by Kirk Ahrens
Bowie
April 3, 2024 at 5:06 AM
Love is a many splendored thing.
March 3, 2024 at 1:05 PM
The model and the art
November 21, 2023 at 2:57 PM
The two funniest things ever are
1) Monkey Jesus
2) Watching the Dolphins game with some big fans as they drew within a field goal of setting the all time scoring record and then elected to run out the clock. The rage, so delicious.
October 25, 2023 at 1:49 PM