Captain Frasier
@captainfrasier.bsky.social
Captain of the USS Tossed Salad (NCC-91693) I'm listening, in space
FIRST SEASON (2020) REMASTERED IN 4K
FIRST SEASON (2020) REMASTERED IN 4K
CAPTAIN FRASIER [amazed]: It's a planet made entirely of ice. A gorgeous world, frozen so deeply that even the atmosphere around it has condensed into a solid
DOCTOR NILES: It's absolutely breathtaking.
DAPHNE: What is it with you boys and very cold things?
MARTIN: don't ask
DOCTOR NILES: It's absolutely breathtaking.
DAPHNE: What is it with you boys and very cold things?
MARTIN: don't ask
March 25, 2025 at 3:11 AM
CAPTAIN FRASIER [amazed]: It's a planet made entirely of ice. A gorgeous world, frozen so deeply that even the atmosphere around it has condensed into a solid
DOCTOR NILES: It's absolutely breathtaking.
DAPHNE: What is it with you boys and very cold things?
MARTIN: don't ask
DOCTOR NILES: It's absolutely breathtaking.
DAPHNE: What is it with you boys and very cold things?
MARTIN: don't ask
CAPTAIN FRASIER: It appears to be some sort of glowing, sentient, vaporous life form!
DOCTOR NILES: Quick! Frasier! It's a ball of pseudointellectual hot gas, you should know exactly how to communicate with it!
DOCTOR NILES: Quick! Frasier! It's a ball of pseudointellectual hot gas, you should know exactly how to communicate with it!
March 25, 2025 at 3:10 AM
CAPTAIN FRASIER: It appears to be some sort of glowing, sentient, vaporous life form!
DOCTOR NILES: Quick! Frasier! It's a ball of pseudointellectual hot gas, you should know exactly how to communicate with it!
DOCTOR NILES: Quick! Frasier! It's a ball of pseudointellectual hot gas, you should know exactly how to communicate with it!
Reposted by Captain Frasier
escape time loop escape time loop escape time loop escape time loop escape time loop escape time loop escape time loop escape time loop
March 23, 2025 at 6:40 PM
escape time loop escape time loop escape time loop escape time loop escape time loop escape time loop escape time loop escape time loop
CAPTAIN FRASIER [whispering]: Niles, remind me — is it BetaZOID or BetaZED?
DOCTOR NILES: BetaZED is their home planet. BetaZOID is their species.
FRASIER [straightening uniform] Thank you. Viewscreen on.
NILES: Just as our home planet is EARTH, and your species is CULTURELESS BUFFOON
DOCTOR NILES: BetaZED is their home planet. BetaZOID is their species.
FRASIER [straightening uniform] Thank you. Viewscreen on.
NILES: Just as our home planet is EARTH, and your species is CULTURELESS BUFFOON
March 18, 2025 at 10:01 PM
CAPTAIN FRASIER [whispering]: Niles, remind me — is it BetaZOID or BetaZED?
DOCTOR NILES: BetaZED is their home planet. BetaZOID is their species.
FRASIER [straightening uniform] Thank you. Viewscreen on.
NILES: Just as our home planet is EARTH, and your species is CULTURELESS BUFFOON
DOCTOR NILES: BetaZED is their home planet. BetaZOID is their species.
FRASIER [straightening uniform] Thank you. Viewscreen on.
NILES: Just as our home planet is EARTH, and your species is CULTURELESS BUFFOON
CAPTAIN FRASIER: Dad, I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. This is simply a diplomatic mission.
MARTIN: Yeah? That why we're headed to the sex planet at warp 8?
FRASIER: It's named Risa.
MARTIN: Ah, I don't care what you call it. Just shower when you're done
MARTIN: Yeah? That why we're headed to the sex planet at warp 8?
FRASIER: It's named Risa.
MARTIN: Ah, I don't care what you call it. Just shower when you're done
March 18, 2025 at 9:56 PM
CAPTAIN FRASIER: Dad, I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. This is simply a diplomatic mission.
MARTIN: Yeah? That why we're headed to the sex planet at warp 8?
FRASIER: It's named Risa.
MARTIN: Ah, I don't care what you call it. Just shower when you're done
MARTIN: Yeah? That why we're headed to the sex planet at warp 8?
FRASIER: It's named Risa.
MARTIN: Ah, I don't care what you call it. Just shower when you're done
CAPTAIN FRASIER: Computer. Sherry. Dry
March 18, 2025 at 9:56 PM
CAPTAIN FRASIER: Computer. Sherry. Dry
The vibe I bring to the function
March 18, 2025 at 6:49 PM
The vibe I bring to the function
CAPTAIN FRASIER: What's wrong, Roz?
ENSIGN ROZ: It's my mom. She's going through "the phase"
FRASIER: Why Roz. I never knew you were part Betazoid!
ROZ: What? No, it's more of a Klingon phase.
FRASIER: ...I'm afraid to ask.
ROZ: She's bitten off three guys' ears this month
ENSIGN ROZ: It's my mom. She's going through "the phase"
FRASIER: Why Roz. I never knew you were part Betazoid!
ROZ: What? No, it's more of a Klingon phase.
FRASIER: ...I'm afraid to ask.
ROZ: She's bitten off three guys' ears this month
March 18, 2025 at 6:30 PM
CAPTAIN FRASIER: What's wrong, Roz?
ENSIGN ROZ: It's my mom. She's going through "the phase"
FRASIER: Why Roz. I never knew you were part Betazoid!
ROZ: What? No, it's more of a Klingon phase.
FRASIER: ...I'm afraid to ask.
ROZ: She's bitten off three guys' ears this month
ENSIGN ROZ: It's my mom. She's going through "the phase"
FRASIER: Why Roz. I never knew you were part Betazoid!
ROZ: What? No, it's more of a Klingon phase.
FRASIER: ...I'm afraid to ask.
ROZ: She's bitten off three guys' ears this month
AMBASSADOR DAPHNE: Your father's asleep so I'll be popping up to ten forward for a pint.
CAPTAIN FRASIER: Oh? Meeting someone?
DAPHNE: No one in particular, but someone might be able to get me back to their quarters if they're ten forward ENOUGH!
DOCTOR NILES [drops tricorder]
CAPTAIN FRASIER: Oh? Meeting someone?
DAPHNE: No one in particular, but someone might be able to get me back to their quarters if they're ten forward ENOUGH!
DOCTOR NILES [drops tricorder]
March 18, 2025 at 6:29 PM
AMBASSADOR DAPHNE: Your father's asleep so I'll be popping up to ten forward for a pint.
CAPTAIN FRASIER: Oh? Meeting someone?
DAPHNE: No one in particular, but someone might be able to get me back to their quarters if they're ten forward ENOUGH!
DOCTOR NILES [drops tricorder]
CAPTAIN FRASIER: Oh? Meeting someone?
DAPHNE: No one in particular, but someone might be able to get me back to their quarters if they're ten forward ENOUGH!
DOCTOR NILES [drops tricorder]
CAPTAIN FRASIER: It's a very important mission! We're going across the galaxy to return an invaluable artifact that was misplaced during a sacred pilgrimage!
MARTIN: What, so a Vulcan forgot his luggage?
CAPTAIN: ...
MARTIN: Cause it sounds like a Vulcan forgot his luggage.
MARTIN: What, so a Vulcan forgot his luggage?
CAPTAIN: ...
MARTIN: Cause it sounds like a Vulcan forgot his luggage.
March 18, 2025 at 6:29 PM
CAPTAIN FRASIER: It's a very important mission! We're going across the galaxy to return an invaluable artifact that was misplaced during a sacred pilgrimage!
MARTIN: What, so a Vulcan forgot his luggage?
CAPTAIN: ...
MARTIN: Cause it sounds like a Vulcan forgot his luggage.
MARTIN: What, so a Vulcan forgot his luggage?
CAPTAIN: ...
MARTIN: Cause it sounds like a Vulcan forgot his luggage.
Live
Laugh
Lambrusco
Laugh
Lambrusco
Live
Laugh
LOWER DECKS! LOWER DECKS! LOWER DECKS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Laugh
LOWER DECKS! LOWER DECKS! LOWER DECKS!!!!!!!!!!!!
March 17, 2025 at 7:22 AM
Live
Laugh
Lambrusco
Laugh
Lambrusco
[beep boop]
CAPTAIN FRASIER: Enter.
ENSIGN ROZ [entering]: Hey there, cap. Is it okay if I switch shifts later? I have a date.
FRASIER: Roz—there are only 68 people on this ship. Who could you POSSIBLY be dating?
ROZ: Oh, you know. Whoever picks up the subspace distress signal
CAPTAIN FRASIER: Enter.
ENSIGN ROZ [entering]: Hey there, cap. Is it okay if I switch shifts later? I have a date.
FRASIER: Roz—there are only 68 people on this ship. Who could you POSSIBLY be dating?
ROZ: Oh, you know. Whoever picks up the subspace distress signal
March 16, 2025 at 6:38 PM
[beep boop]
CAPTAIN FRASIER: Enter.
ENSIGN ROZ [entering]: Hey there, cap. Is it okay if I switch shifts later? I have a date.
FRASIER: Roz—there are only 68 people on this ship. Who could you POSSIBLY be dating?
ROZ: Oh, you know. Whoever picks up the subspace distress signal
CAPTAIN FRASIER: Enter.
ENSIGN ROZ [entering]: Hey there, cap. Is it okay if I switch shifts later? I have a date.
FRASIER: Roz—there are only 68 people on this ship. Who could you POSSIBLY be dating?
ROZ: Oh, you know. Whoever picks up the subspace distress signal
Reposted by Captain Frasier
ENSIGN: It's a Klingon ship, sir.
MARTIN: Klingons? Lemme talk to 'em! Klingons love me!
CAPTAIN FRASIER: [chuckling] Sure, Dad. They're probably preparing the tea ceremony for you right now.
NILES: [giggles] Do you have your Bat'leth?
VIEWSCREEN: MARTY!
MARTIN: K'VAGH!
MARTIN: Klingons? Lemme talk to 'em! Klingons love me!
CAPTAIN FRASIER: [chuckling] Sure, Dad. They're probably preparing the tea ceremony for you right now.
NILES: [giggles] Do you have your Bat'leth?
VIEWSCREEN: MARTY!
MARTIN: K'VAGH!
March 16, 2025 at 2:04 PM
ENSIGN: It's a Klingon ship, sir.
MARTIN: Klingons? Lemme talk to 'em! Klingons love me!
CAPTAIN FRASIER: [chuckling] Sure, Dad. They're probably preparing the tea ceremony for you right now.
NILES: [giggles] Do you have your Bat'leth?
VIEWSCREEN: MARTY!
MARTIN: K'VAGH!
MARTIN: Klingons? Lemme talk to 'em! Klingons love me!
CAPTAIN FRASIER: [chuckling] Sure, Dad. They're probably preparing the tea ceremony for you right now.
NILES: [giggles] Do you have your Bat'leth?
VIEWSCREEN: MARTY!
MARTIN: K'VAGH!
DOCTOR NILES: Damnit, Captain. I'm a doctor, not a 2012 Domaine Leroy Musigny Grand Cru
March 16, 2025 at 5:20 AM
DOCTOR NILES: Damnit, Captain. I'm a doctor, not a 2012 Domaine Leroy Musigny Grand Cru
MARTIN: C'mon, they're just Klingons! What's the worst they could do?
CAPTAIN FRASIER: Oh I don't know, Dad, drain our blood for their drinks? Flay the flesh from our bones?
MARTIN: [Walking away on space cane] Pffft. As if you have any of that left after the divorce
CAPTAIN FRASIER: Oh I don't know, Dad, drain our blood for their drinks? Flay the flesh from our bones?
MARTIN: [Walking away on space cane] Pffft. As if you have any of that left after the divorce
March 16, 2025 at 5:17 AM
MARTIN: C'mon, they're just Klingons! What's the worst they could do?
CAPTAIN FRASIER: Oh I don't know, Dad, drain our blood for their drinks? Flay the flesh from our bones?
MARTIN: [Walking away on space cane] Pffft. As if you have any of that left after the divorce
CAPTAIN FRASIER: Oh I don't know, Dad, drain our blood for their drinks? Flay the flesh from our bones?
MARTIN: [Walking away on space cane] Pffft. As if you have any of that left after the divorce
CAPTAIN FRASIER: I DO so wish Maris had been able to join us for dinner here on the surface.
DOCTOR NILES: Oh, you know how it goes. One mention of the transporter and she swoons so hard her molecules phase halfway through the bed
DOCTOR NILES: Oh, you know how it goes. One mention of the transporter and she swoons so hard her molecules phase halfway through the bed
March 9, 2025 at 4:15 AM
CAPTAIN FRASIER: I DO so wish Maris had been able to join us for dinner here on the surface.
DOCTOR NILES: Oh, you know how it goes. One mention of the transporter and she swoons so hard her molecules phase halfway through the bed
DOCTOR NILES: Oh, you know how it goes. One mention of the transporter and she swoons so hard her molecules phase halfway through the bed
Captain's log, stardate 77301.4
Lilith
Lilith
March 9, 2025 at 4:12 AM
Captain's log, stardate 77301.4
Lilith
Lilith
[Gets stuck in a time loop for 80+ years]
CAPTAIN: Oh, for GOD'S SAKE
CAPTAIN: Oh, for GOD'S SAKE
March 9, 2025 at 4:11 AM
[Gets stuck in a time loop for 80+ years]
CAPTAIN: Oh, for GOD'S SAKE
CAPTAIN: Oh, for GOD'S SAKE
Describe a Star Trek episode poorly but accurately.
The crew can't seem to stop playing poker
The crew can't seem to stop playing poker
Describe a Star trek episode poorly but accurately.
Janeway's ancestor falls in love with a NIMBY
Janeway's ancestor falls in love with a NIMBY
describe a star trek episode poorly but accurately.
Trouble with your ship? Try rebooting.
Trouble with your ship? Try rebooting.
March 9, 2025 at 4:08 AM
Describe a Star Trek episode poorly but accurately.
The crew can't seem to stop playing poker
The crew can't seem to stop playing poker
CAPTAIN FRASIER: Hail the Tamarian vessel!
ENSIGN: Channel open.
CAPTAIN FRASIER: Sam and Diane, wed in the Bar! Sam, when the walls fell.
TAMARIAN: Norm, waiting for Cliff during a snowstorm?!
CAPTAIN FRASIER: Sam. (A tear forms in his eye) When Diane returns in the finale
ENSIGN: Channel open.
CAPTAIN FRASIER: Sam and Diane, wed in the Bar! Sam, when the walls fell.
TAMARIAN: Norm, waiting for Cliff during a snowstorm?!
CAPTAIN FRASIER: Sam. (A tear forms in his eye) When Diane returns in the finale
February 23, 2025 at 10:12 PM
CAPTAIN FRASIER: Hail the Tamarian vessel!
ENSIGN: Channel open.
CAPTAIN FRASIER: Sam and Diane, wed in the Bar! Sam, when the walls fell.
TAMARIAN: Norm, waiting for Cliff during a snowstorm?!
CAPTAIN FRASIER: Sam. (A tear forms in his eye) When Diane returns in the finale
ENSIGN: Channel open.
CAPTAIN FRASIER: Sam and Diane, wed in the Bar! Sam, when the walls fell.
TAMARIAN: Norm, waiting for Cliff during a snowstorm?!
CAPTAIN FRASIER: Sam. (A tear forms in his eye) When Diane returns in the finale
CAPTAIN FRASIER: For the last time, Eddie cannot run the transporter console!
MARTIN: Sure he can! Get up there, buddy.
[Eddie jumps up and materializes several bones onto the pad]
FRASIER: I'll be damned.
MARTIN: Great job, pal! [To captain] He can only get the bones for now though
MARTIN: Sure he can! Get up there, buddy.
[Eddie jumps up and materializes several bones onto the pad]
FRASIER: I'll be damned.
MARTIN: Great job, pal! [To captain] He can only get the bones for now though
February 21, 2025 at 3:00 AM
CAPTAIN FRASIER: For the last time, Eddie cannot run the transporter console!
MARTIN: Sure he can! Get up there, buddy.
[Eddie jumps up and materializes several bones onto the pad]
FRASIER: I'll be damned.
MARTIN: Great job, pal! [To captain] He can only get the bones for now though
MARTIN: Sure he can! Get up there, buddy.
[Eddie jumps up and materializes several bones onto the pad]
FRASIER: I'll be damned.
MARTIN: Great job, pal! [To captain] He can only get the bones for now though
DOCTOR NILES: I'm in love with her, captain. She's more than the sun and the moon— she's the stars, the nebulas, the universe itself!
AMBASSADOR DAPHNE: Oh don't mind me, just heating me kettle on the warp core
CAPTAIN FRASIER: Well. She's at least a black hole of some sort
AMBASSADOR DAPHNE: Oh don't mind me, just heating me kettle on the warp core
CAPTAIN FRASIER: Well. She's at least a black hole of some sort
February 21, 2025 at 1:49 AM
DOCTOR NILES: I'm in love with her, captain. She's more than the sun and the moon— she's the stars, the nebulas, the universe itself!
AMBASSADOR DAPHNE: Oh don't mind me, just heating me kettle on the warp core
CAPTAIN FRASIER: Well. She's at least a black hole of some sort
AMBASSADOR DAPHNE: Oh don't mind me, just heating me kettle on the warp core
CAPTAIN FRASIER: Well. She's at least a black hole of some sort
Captain's log srardate. Star-- stardate. 77something point something
The synthahol
Neebs adjusting
The scrambled eggs. They're calling again
The synthahol
Neebs adjusting
The scrambled eggs. They're calling again
February 21, 2025 at 12:18 AM
Captain's log srardate. Star-- stardate. 77something point something
The synthahol
Neebs adjusting
The scrambled eggs. They're calling again
The synthahol
Neebs adjusting
The scrambled eggs. They're calling again