Caffeinated Otter
@caffeinatedotter.bsky.social
Author of short and episodic fiction: fantasy, SF, smut — http://brain-implant.tech/writing/ he/him
Wizard of Mass Destruction
December 30, 2025 at 3:57 PM
Wizard of Mass Destruction
Reposted by Caffeinated Otter
you should read HIGH-MAINTENANCE SPEED WHORE immediately
December 30, 2025 at 3:03 PM
you should read HIGH-MAINTENANCE SPEED WHORE immediately
My, but there's a genre of filk-y song that you could mistake for traditional if you went by vibes which goes "let's SLAUGHTER those FOREIGN FUCKS coming for our LAND AND WOMEN" so you suspiciously check and yep: written in America in or since the 80s
December 30, 2025 at 3:12 PM
My, but there's a genre of filk-y song that you could mistake for traditional if you went by vibes which goes "let's SLAUGHTER those FOREIGN FUCKS coming for our LAND AND WOMEN" so you suspiciously check and yep: written in America in or since the 80s
Gaslight gatekeep girlboss, or as they say in mechsplo, bootblack brainwash bitchbreak,
December 30, 2025 at 1:29 AM
Gaslight gatekeep girlboss, or as they say in mechsplo, bootblack brainwash bitchbreak,
"National cuisines" are — wait for it — a deliberately engineered instrument of nationalism
December 29, 2025 at 10:16 PM
"National cuisines" are — wait for it — a deliberately engineered instrument of nationalism
Reposted by Caffeinated Otter
omg italians used to cook pasta "for hours" until "very soft"?? cooking pasta firmly wasn't common until mid 1800s, and "al dente" appears only after WW1?? en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al_dente
![For centuries in Italy, the ideal pasta was very soft, and chefs such as the 15th century chef Martino da Como, who recommended cooking pasta for hours to achieve the desired firmness. The resulting pasta's softness influenced how it was served. At the time, the leading physicians of Italy followed Hippocrates and Galen, who maintained contraria contrariis curantur ('opposites cure opposites'). As a result, they recommended pasta be served with dried spices and pepper, as well as cheese,[10] particularly the dry, aged varieties.[11] Such a soft pasta was slippery when eaten with the hand, and historian Massimo Montanari credits the pasta's firmness with promoting the uptake of forks in Italy.[12]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:sxre4hdvxmps2ontfyzegzo5/bafkreib3ofbj4kzieq4rn5h3jqffd4544eq2pvkbu3snrnoppyhz7zylzm@jpeg)
![Records of pasta being cooked for shorter lengths and to harder textures arrived in 17th century Naples.[13][14] At first, these were restricted to fresh pasta, and it was not until the mid-19th century in the area that cooks are recorded taking a short cooktime and firm texture for granted for all pastas.[13] Despite this development, the term al dente remained unused; historians Silvano Serventi and Françoise Sabban [fr] write that before World War I, the term "was unknown".[15] In the years since as the term has gained prominence, the idea of cooking pasta al dente has entered the Italian national identity.[15] Internationally, the phrase was spread through restaurants in the second half of the 20th century.[16]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:sxre4hdvxmps2ontfyzegzo5/bafkreifzxxoooawivza3wcnmhj4mfm3rerjzmwuq5vjbztnhxijboconr4@jpeg)
December 29, 2025 at 9:51 PM
omg italians used to cook pasta "for hours" until "very soft"?? cooking pasta firmly wasn't common until mid 1800s, and "al dente" appears only after WW1?? en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al_dente
Reposted by Caffeinated Otter
pull 4 tarot cards. this is your crew: The Brains, The Muscle, The Vixen, The Heart. pull a 5th. this is The Score. decide what it is and why you want it. shuffle The Score back into the deck. this is The Collection. on each turn, each crewmember pulls an item from The Collection. now find The Score
December 23, 2025 at 2:08 PM
pull 4 tarot cards. this is your crew: The Brains, The Muscle, The Vixen, The Heart. pull a 5th. this is The Score. decide what it is and why you want it. shuffle The Score back into the deck. this is The Collection. on each turn, each crewmember pulls an item from The Collection. now find The Score
Fuck, it's weird the things that'll set you off, isn't it
The February bereavement anniversary's gonna be rough at this rate
The February bereavement anniversary's gonna be rough at this rate
December 29, 2025 at 7:26 PM
Fuck, it's weird the things that'll set you off, isn't it
The February bereavement anniversary's gonna be rough at this rate
The February bereavement anniversary's gonna be rough at this rate
It's painful to watch whenever someone goes "although I can see legitimate use cases [for genAI]—" because the next words out of their mouth inevitably give away that they're gullible shits both-sidesing "it's literal magic trust me bro! :)" and "that's a fucking lie"
December 29, 2025 at 3:42 PM
It's painful to watch whenever someone goes "although I can see legitimate use cases [for genAI]—" because the next words out of their mouth inevitably give away that they're gullible shits both-sidesing "it's literal magic trust me bro! :)" and "that's a fucking lie"
Cyberpunk gf using her cortical implants to livestream experience-by-proxy sense data via her hardware's cuck login
December 29, 2025 at 1:18 PM
Cyberpunk gf using her cortical implants to livestream experience-by-proxy sense data via her hardware's cuck login
Reposted by Caffeinated Otter
While I work on editing and formatting Hekate's Call for sale, I'll still be working on its sequel Legion Candidate, as well as Manifest, a cyberpunk serialization.
You can support me on Patreon and Ko-Fi:
Patreon: patreon.com/malachiteos
Ko-Fi: ko-fi.com/malachiteos
You can support me on Patreon and Ko-Fi:
Patreon: patreon.com/malachiteos
Ko-Fi: ko-fi.com/malachiteos
Get more from Malachite on Patreon
erohorror and other writings
patreon.com
December 28, 2025 at 6:53 PM
While I work on editing and formatting Hekate's Call for sale, I'll still be working on its sequel Legion Candidate, as well as Manifest, a cyberpunk serialization.
You can support me on Patreon and Ko-Fi:
Patreon: patreon.com/malachiteos
Ko-Fi: ko-fi.com/malachiteos
You can support me on Patreon and Ko-Fi:
Patreon: patreon.com/malachiteos
Ko-Fi: ko-fi.com/malachiteos
Reposted by Caffeinated Otter
Hekate's Call. One of the pillars of Mechsploitation is now complete.
The salvaging company Ilina Falke contracts for goes under mid-mission, and she is forcibly re-contracted to a new PMC full of awful women who hate her.
archiveofourown.org/works/575893...
The salvaging company Ilina Falke contracts for goes under mid-mission, and she is forcibly re-contracted to a new PMC full of awful women who hate her.
archiveofourown.org/works/575893...
Hekate's Call - Chapter 1 - malachiteOS - Original Work [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
archiveofourown.org
December 28, 2025 at 6:53 PM
Hekate's Call. One of the pillars of Mechsploitation is now complete.
The salvaging company Ilina Falke contracts for goes under mid-mission, and she is forcibly re-contracted to a new PMC full of awful women who hate her.
archiveofourown.org/works/575893...
The salvaging company Ilina Falke contracts for goes under mid-mission, and she is forcibly re-contracted to a new PMC full of awful women who hate her.
archiveofourown.org/works/575893...
Every time I see someone earnestly advocate for adding an RSS feed to your website, I nod eagerly, and then they go "—and all you have to do is the manual labour of also adding a feed entry every time you update your Neocities!" and I die a little
December 28, 2025 at 2:28 PM
Every time I see someone earnestly advocate for adding an RSS feed to your website, I nod eagerly, and then they go "—and all you have to do is the manual labour of also adding a feed entry every time you update your Neocities!" and I die a little
Towering above my limp and trembling supine body, her arms folded, she tightened her fingers around my throat—
Genemodded spacers with another pair of hands on the end of their lower limbs: still a foot fetish if you're into those specifically? Greatest debate in history of forums,
December 28, 2025 at 2:16 AM
Towering above my limp and trembling supine body, her arms folded, she tightened her fingers around my throat—
Nobody can innovate their way out of debanking being a problem. The money industry has a monopoly on doing the actual, you know, moving money around *because it's money.* Unless you want everyone to Just Do Without e.g. moving money to arbitrary people, you probably don't wanna Burn It All, either.
December 27, 2025 at 10:47 PM
Nobody can innovate their way out of debanking being a problem. The money industry has a monopoly on doing the actual, you know, moving money around *because it's money.* Unless you want everyone to Just Do Without e.g. moving money to arbitrary people, you probably don't wanna Burn It All, either.
The spacer lounging against the bar caught me staring; crooked a come-hither finger from the toe of her fuck-me shoes. I didn't dare look up to see what kind of smirk she had on her face—
Genemodded spacers with another pair of hands on the end of their lower limbs: still a foot fetish if you're into those specifically? Greatest debate in history of forums,
December 27, 2025 at 10:33 PM
The spacer lounging against the bar caught me staring; crooked a come-hither finger from the toe of her fuck-me shoes. I didn't dare look up to see what kind of smirk she had on her face—
Genemodded spacers with another pair of hands on the end of their lower limbs: still a foot fetish if you're into those specifically? Greatest debate in history of forums,
December 27, 2025 at 10:25 PM
Genemodded spacers with another pair of hands on the end of their lower limbs: still a foot fetish if you're into those specifically? Greatest debate in history of forums,
Me: I could write the next bit of Paladins of Mother Weep-No-More
Me: I could write another bit of Daemon
Me: Or fazione
Me: Or shot, chaser
Me: Contemplatorum Sable IV?
Me: brain plz, what?
Brain: 500 words of exposition about fantasy megafauna that exist solely to get to the actual point
Me: fuck—
Me: I could write another bit of Daemon
Me: Or fazione
Me: Or shot, chaser
Me: Contemplatorum Sable IV?
Me: brain plz, what?
Brain: 500 words of exposition about fantasy megafauna that exist solely to get to the actual point
Me: fuck—
December 27, 2025 at 9:40 PM
Me: I could write the next bit of Paladins of Mother Weep-No-More
Me: I could write another bit of Daemon
Me: Or fazione
Me: Or shot, chaser
Me: Contemplatorum Sable IV?
Me: brain plz, what?
Brain: 500 words of exposition about fantasy megafauna that exist solely to get to the actual point
Me: fuck—
Me: I could write another bit of Daemon
Me: Or fazione
Me: Or shot, chaser
Me: Contemplatorum Sable IV?
Me: brain plz, what?
Brain: 500 words of exposition about fantasy megafauna that exist solely to get to the actual point
Me: fuck—
Somebody claims to be building a payments app on top of ATProto in which "neither we *nor our banking partner* will know about your transactions" [emphasis mine] and that only way that can possibly be true is with some extremely fine and novel rules-lawyering about what "the bank knows about" means
December 27, 2025 at 8:30 PM
Somebody claims to be building a payments app on top of ATProto in which "neither we *nor our banking partner* will know about your transactions" [emphasis mine] and that only way that can possibly be true is with some extremely fine and novel rules-lawyering about what "the bank knows about" means
"in 2026, lady knights are OUT, dyke knights are IN"
...I dunno what websites *you've* been on previously,
...I dunno what websites *you've* been on previously,
December 27, 2025 at 6:04 PM
"in 2026, lady knights are OUT, dyke knights are IN"
...I dunno what websites *you've* been on previously,
...I dunno what websites *you've* been on previously,
Pretty much any classic "famous textbook psych-field thing you'd very obviously be forbidden to replicate" would make the kernel of a mechsplo story
...as long as you acknowledge the fact they were all *fucking terrible science*
...as long as you acknowledge the fact they were all *fucking terrible science*
December 27, 2025 at 3:43 PM
Pretty much any classic "famous textbook psych-field thing you'd very obviously be forbidden to replicate" would make the kernel of a mechsplo story
...as long as you acknowledge the fact they were all *fucking terrible science*
...as long as you acknowledge the fact they were all *fucking terrible science*
Pilot squad on leave texting their mechanic back aboard "sorry we force-lapinised your gf" and not explaining all week that they just stuck a bunny ear headband on her & took pictures while she was drunk because the "I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS WHAT DID YOU DO!!!" texts are increasingly funny
December 27, 2025 at 3:29 PM
Pilot squad on leave texting their mechanic back aboard "sorry we force-lapinised your gf" and not explaining all week that they just stuck a bunny ear headband on her & took pictures while she was drunk because the "I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS WHAT DID YOU DO!!!" texts are increasingly funny
I don't plan on changing avatar for anything any time soon, but I have a satisfying new wizard picture in case the urge strikes me
December 27, 2025 at 3:07 PM
I don't plan on changing avatar for anything any time soon, but I have a satisfying new wizard picture in case the urge strikes me
Staring down your fidgeting, wet-eyed mech pilot, muzzle dangling from one hand, chastity cage from the other: "If you don't hurry up and pick, *both* ends get muzzled"
December 27, 2025 at 1:11 PM
Staring down your fidgeting, wet-eyed mech pilot, muzzle dangling from one hand, chastity cage from the other: "If you don't hurry up and pick, *both* ends get muzzled"