I feel like such a fraud whenever I enter one of my depressive episodes. I feel like I literally have no reason to feel so down. Oftentimes that's exactly the case. I have a job that I can reliably get to. I live in a house that my family owns. I have time to goof off.
So why am I getting so upset?

As of September 9th, 2025, Haru Urara has passed away.

She lived a healthy life until her last day, and passed peacefully at the incredible age of 29 years old.

Your legacy will always be remembered. Rest in peace, Haru Urara 💜

friday.kodansha.co.jp/article/438213

I sit on the beach, at the edge of the water. The cool waves lap at my toes as I lean back to gaze at the moon. A chill wind coils around my bare arms. My fingers barely sink into the sand. I long for company, despite the bonfire ten feet back, surrounded by friends and family. I'm being quite 1/x

I am trapped within a prison of my own construction. I spend all day looking at screens, knowing I should be using them to improve my way of life but instead seeking the immediate gratification of entertainment. I have no discipline. Well, that's not entirely true: I consistently wake up with 1/X

I am the son of my mother and father.
I am a brother to my two younger siblings.
I am not who I should be.
I am a friend to a few people, and an acquaintance to a few more.
I was a friend to a few more people, and an acquaintance to a few more.
I was an employee for six different employers. 1/x

Really like the new Banksy that popped up.

The wind whistles around my Nissan as I drive ahead. There's no road. Instead, I'm rolling along a wide expanse of red clay. The tires have slowly turned red from how much of it has stuck on, and the gun metal gray body paint is starting to stain as well. I keep driving forward, sometimes 1/x

I got into another fight with my dad last night.
I hate to admit it, but he's right: I spend way too much time playing video games and goofing off instead of making money.
I can't afford to maintain my current lifestyle if I ever wish to move out and move on with my life. As easy as it would be 1/x

I just need to shout at the void. Don't reply to anything I post here.

When I'm not completely absorbed by my self-hatred, you can find me here:
@dorkylover.bsky.social