Brandon Mf'n B
@brandonmfnb.bsky.social
Boring Day job holder
Satirical. Cynical. Occasionally insightful.
If it’s dumb, I’m talking about it.
linktr.ee/brandon_mfn_b
Satirical. Cynical. Occasionally insightful.
If it’s dumb, I’m talking about it.
linktr.ee/brandon_mfn_b
Pinned
Oh, your whole social media identity is stuffing your face on camera... that's cool.
*Blocked*
*Blocked*
February 3, 2026 at 6:08 PM
Oh, your whole social media identity is stuffing your face on camera... that's cool.
*Blocked*
*Blocked*
They better not expect any sort of notice from me after this bullshit. Once I find a new job, I'm just going to stop showing up.
January 27, 2026 at 5:47 PM
They better not expect any sort of notice from me after this bullshit. Once I find a new job, I'm just going to stop showing up.
I thought he hated socialism?
January 21, 2026 at 7:05 PM
I thought he hated socialism?
Some y'all out here acting like y'all forgot mooches/bums exist and aren't consigned to a specific gender. Then y'all get mad when you get used up.
January 20, 2026 at 2:29 PM
Some y'all out here acting like y'all forgot mooches/bums exist and aren't consigned to a specific gender. Then y'all get mad when you get used up.
My super power is being pretty much non-existent until the moment someone needs something and then suddenly I exist.
January 15, 2026 at 5:06 PM
My super power is being pretty much non-existent until the moment someone needs something and then suddenly I exist.
Just remember:
The dumbest motherfucker in the room will always have the loudest opinion.
The dumbest motherfucker in the room will always have the loudest opinion.
January 15, 2026 at 2:11 PM
Just remember:
The dumbest motherfucker in the room will always have the loudest opinion.
The dumbest motherfucker in the room will always have the loudest opinion.
My sister over here trying to act like I'm way older than she is like we aren't in the same fucking high school year book... 🤣🤣
December 24, 2025 at 5:22 PM
My sister over here trying to act like I'm way older than she is like we aren't in the same fucking high school year book... 🤣🤣
You never realize how long it's been since you bought new underwear until it's time to buy new underwear...
December 18, 2025 at 10:06 PM
You never realize how long it's been since you bought new underwear until it's time to buy new underwear...
We can talk about protecting ourselves from anything that we want, but the simple fact of the matter is, that when pretty girl flashes smile at boy, boy is going to melt. How long he stays melted depends on how engaged pretty girl is...or pretends to be.
December 16, 2025 at 7:02 PM
We can talk about protecting ourselves from anything that we want, but the simple fact of the matter is, that when pretty girl flashes smile at boy, boy is going to melt. How long he stays melted depends on how engaged pretty girl is...or pretends to be.
Someone asked me today, "What's up?" to which I replied, "Not the temperature nor my enthusiasm for life at the moment."
😅😅
😅😅
December 15, 2025 at 10:53 PM
Someone asked me today, "What's up?" to which I replied, "Not the temperature nor my enthusiasm for life at the moment."
😅😅
😅😅
"It didn’t start with intensity. It started with ease.
Conversation that didn’t feel forced. Laughter that came naturally. A vibe that made time pass quicker than expected. The kind of energy that doesn’t demand attention but holds it anyway. Being around her felt light. Comfortable. Real."
Conversation that didn’t feel forced. Laughter that came naturally. A vibe that made time pass quicker than expected. The kind of energy that doesn’t demand attention but holds it anyway. Being around her felt light. Comfortable. Real."
December 14, 2025 at 1:44 PM
"It didn’t start with intensity. It started with ease.
Conversation that didn’t feel forced. Laughter that came naturally. A vibe that made time pass quicker than expected. The kind of energy that doesn’t demand attention but holds it anyway. Being around her felt light. Comfortable. Real."
Conversation that didn’t feel forced. Laughter that came naturally. A vibe that made time pass quicker than expected. The kind of energy that doesn’t demand attention but holds it anyway. Being around her felt light. Comfortable. Real."
“I wasn’t chasing certainty — I was just trying to figure out whether the door was ever actually open.”
evrythingnnothing.blogspot.com/2025/12/prob...
evrythingnnothing.blogspot.com/2025/12/prob...
Probably Staying In
There’s a particular kind of almost-relationship that doesn’t explode or collapse. It just quietly unravels while you’re still t...
evrythingnnothing.blogspot.com
December 14, 2025 at 1:27 AM
“I wasn’t chasing certainty — I was just trying to figure out whether the door was ever actually open.”
evrythingnnothing.blogspot.com/2025/12/prob...
evrythingnnothing.blogspot.com/2025/12/prob...
Can we just take a second to appreciate how stupid the word ‘scromiting’ is? Because nothing says ‘trust the science’ like a term that sounds like a gremlin sneezing.
December 11, 2025 at 11:43 PM
Can we just take a second to appreciate how stupid the word ‘scromiting’ is? Because nothing says ‘trust the science’ like a term that sounds like a gremlin sneezing.
Sweat pants and hoodies... that's all I'ma say.
December 9, 2025 at 9:57 PM
Sweat pants and hoodies... that's all I'ma say.
The same MF getting bailed out by the government are the same stupid MF that voted for the man who almost put them outta business in the first place.
Goddamn dummies. Won't learn a lick of shit from this either. Just keep on being fucking dummies. *Smh*
Goddamn dummies. Won't learn a lick of shit from this either. Just keep on being fucking dummies. *Smh*
December 9, 2025 at 6:08 PM
The same MF getting bailed out by the government are the same stupid MF that voted for the man who almost put them outta business in the first place.
Goddamn dummies. Won't learn a lick of shit from this either. Just keep on being fucking dummies. *Smh*
Goddamn dummies. Won't learn a lick of shit from this either. Just keep on being fucking dummies. *Smh*
I'm craving waffles for some reason… probably because they're fucking delicious. Who knows.
December 8, 2025 at 2:07 PM
I'm craving waffles for some reason… probably because they're fucking delicious. Who knows.
Most wonderful time of the year my ass...cold as shit out this MF.
December 5, 2025 at 2:39 PM
Most wonderful time of the year my ass...cold as shit out this MF.
Me: I feel good about this...and send.
*Narrator*
What a terrible idea he'd come to quickly regret.
*Narrator*
What a terrible idea he'd come to quickly regret.
December 5, 2025 at 2:52 AM
Me: I feel good about this...and send.
*Narrator*
What a terrible idea he'd come to quickly regret.
*Narrator*
What a terrible idea he'd come to quickly regret.
You ever had duck?
I've never had duck.
I kinda wanna try duck....
Anyway, boycotting Costco is stupid.
I've never had duck.
I kinda wanna try duck....
Anyway, boycotting Costco is stupid.
December 4, 2025 at 10:16 PM
You ever had duck?
I've never had duck.
I kinda wanna try duck....
Anyway, boycotting Costco is stupid.
I've never had duck.
I kinda wanna try duck....
Anyway, boycotting Costco is stupid.
Here's a smart idea: Let's boycott one of the only companies in the US that actually cares about employees and it's customers for a man who is actively fucking the economy.
December 4, 2025 at 7:49 PM
Here's a smart idea: Let's boycott one of the only companies in the US that actually cares about employees and it's customers for a man who is actively fucking the economy.
We're at that time of the year where the heat in the car is set to "summer time".
December 4, 2025 at 12:48 PM
We're at that time of the year where the heat in the car is set to "summer time".
I want someone to dance in the moonlight with 😭
December 3, 2025 at 9:46 PM
I want someone to dance in the moonlight with 😭
I'm starting to think Candace Owens was in love with Charlie Kirk. Which is more than I can say about the woman who did actually marry the man.
December 2, 2025 at 3:34 PM
I'm starting to think Candace Owens was in love with Charlie Kirk. Which is more than I can say about the woman who did actually marry the man.
You want me to stop posting? Okay, but before I do that, have you met my friends Phuk Yu and Fook Hoff?
November 29, 2025 at 2:41 PM
You want me to stop posting? Okay, but before I do that, have you met my friends Phuk Yu and Fook Hoff?
“Hi Brandon! 😊
Great news! We’ve received the money you owe us for merely existing.
Just wanted to let you know we noticed.
Thanks for being broke responsibly!”
Great news! We’ve received the money you owe us for merely existing.
Just wanted to let you know we noticed.
Thanks for being broke responsibly!”
November 27, 2025 at 10:58 PM
“Hi Brandon! 😊
Great news! We’ve received the money you owe us for merely existing.
Just wanted to let you know we noticed.
Thanks for being broke responsibly!”
Great news! We’ve received the money you owe us for merely existing.
Just wanted to let you know we noticed.
Thanks for being broke responsibly!”