The Boomerang Kid
@boomerangkid.bsky.social
Just sculpting my mashed potatoes — waiting for something extraordinary to happen.
Reposted by The Boomerang Kid
people who say not to grocery shop hungry just want to keep all the snacks for themselves
August 10, 2025 at 11:22 PM
people who say not to grocery shop hungry just want to keep all the snacks for themselves
Me: Can we get a pressure washer?
Her: Huh?
Me: Can we get a pressure washer?
Her: Y..yes?
Me: I'd clean the kitchen all the time
Her: No
Her: Huh?
Me: Can we get a pressure washer?
Her: Y..yes?
Me: I'd clean the kitchen all the time
Her: No
August 16, 2025 at 2:38 PM
Me: Can we get a pressure washer?
Her: Huh?
Me: Can we get a pressure washer?
Her: Y..yes?
Me: I'd clean the kitchen all the time
Her: No
Her: Huh?
Me: Can we get a pressure washer?
Her: Y..yes?
Me: I'd clean the kitchen all the time
Her: No
Her: Did you clean the kitchen like I asked?
Me: I did everything you said! Just about to grab the dishes out of the wash machine now
Her: You mean dishwasher
Me: ...
Her: ...
Me: I realize my mistake
Me: I did everything you said! Just about to grab the dishes out of the wash machine now
Her: You mean dishwasher
Me: ...
Her: ...
Me: I realize my mistake
August 16, 2025 at 2:32 PM
Her: Did you clean the kitchen like I asked?
Me: I did everything you said! Just about to grab the dishes out of the wash machine now
Her: You mean dishwasher
Me: ...
Her: ...
Me: I realize my mistake
Me: I did everything you said! Just about to grab the dishes out of the wash machine now
Her: You mean dishwasher
Me: ...
Her: ...
Me: I realize my mistake
Can't believe I used to be able to come home every day from school and watch the Animaniacs, completely unbothered, for 30 minutes. I took things for granted. I didn't realize what I had!
August 10, 2025 at 2:34 PM
Can't believe I used to be able to come home every day from school and watch the Animaniacs, completely unbothered, for 30 minutes. I took things for granted. I didn't realize what I had!
Spray-tan should come in a variety of colors. We should be able to choose whatever color spray-tan we want
August 10, 2025 at 2:30 PM
Spray-tan should come in a variety of colors. We should be able to choose whatever color spray-tan we want
I've been microdosing milk
July 30, 2025 at 3:53 PM
I've been microdosing milk
Everyone at the supermarket is picketing for higher wages, so I legitimately had buy noodles from a pasta farm just to make spaghetti! #FarmToTable
February 14, 2025 at 11:23 AM
Everyone at the supermarket is picketing for higher wages, so I legitimately had buy noodles from a pasta farm just to make spaghetti! #FarmToTable
*Shows up to the Writer's Strike in my dapper little bowling shoes while carrying my 7lb bowling ball*
Me: I believe I've committed a misunderstanding
Me: I believe I've committed a misunderstanding
February 14, 2025 at 11:20 AM
*Shows up to the Writer's Strike in my dapper little bowling shoes while carrying my 7lb bowling ball*
Me: I believe I've committed a misunderstanding
Me: I believe I've committed a misunderstanding
I just found out, a few decades too late, that I use too much toothpaste. I was humiliated in front of everyone!
January 25, 2025 at 3:00 AM
I just found out, a few decades too late, that I use too much toothpaste. I was humiliated in front of everyone!
Me: Idk if you knew this but I'm in the church play tomorrow
GF: Then how come you weren't at rehearsal?
Me: Oh, the church doesn't know about it yet
GF: Then how come you weren't at rehearsal?
Me: Oh, the church doesn't know about it yet
December 22, 2024 at 11:22 AM
Me: Idk if you knew this but I'm in the church play tomorrow
GF: Then how come you weren't at rehearsal?
Me: Oh, the church doesn't know about it yet
GF: Then how come you weren't at rehearsal?
Me: Oh, the church doesn't know about it yet
Wait, okay it's three decades later and I'm just now realizing that the DragonZord is just MechaGodzilla... was the lawsuit settled out of court or?
December 2, 2024 at 9:41 PM
Wait, okay it's three decades later and I'm just now realizing that the DragonZord is just MechaGodzilla... was the lawsuit settled out of court or?
Reposted by The Boomerang Kid
this owl just inhaled a pound of cocaine
November 12, 2024 at 12:55 AM
this owl just inhaled a pound of cocaine
Do people like football? Like, is it popular?
November 12, 2024 at 8:50 AM
Do people like football? Like, is it popular?
𝗧𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗿: Our gut influences neuro-activity – hence, 'our gut is a 2nd brain'
𝘛𝘪𝘮𝘮𝘺'𝘴 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘢 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘶𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺
𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗺𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗟𝗮𝗯 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗞𝗶𝗲𝗿𝗮: Do you realize what this means?
𝗟𝗮𝗯 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗞𝗶𝗲𝗿𝗮: I didn't fail my math test! Taco Bell did
𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗺𝘆: What? No. It means men have 3 brains!
𝘛𝘪𝘮𝘮𝘺'𝘴 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘢 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘶𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺
𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗺𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗟𝗮𝗯 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗞𝗶𝗲𝗿𝗮: Do you realize what this means?
𝗟𝗮𝗯 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗞𝗶𝗲𝗿𝗮: I didn't fail my math test! Taco Bell did
𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗺𝘆: What? No. It means men have 3 brains!
November 9, 2024 at 7:15 PM
𝗧𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗿: Our gut influences neuro-activity – hence, 'our gut is a 2nd brain'
𝘛𝘪𝘮𝘮𝘺'𝘴 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘢 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘶𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺
𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗺𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗟𝗮𝗯 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗞𝗶𝗲𝗿𝗮: Do you realize what this means?
𝗟𝗮𝗯 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗞𝗶𝗲𝗿𝗮: I didn't fail my math test! Taco Bell did
𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗺𝘆: What? No. It means men have 3 brains!
𝘛𝘪𝘮𝘮𝘺'𝘴 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘢 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘶𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺
𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗺𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗟𝗮𝗯 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗞𝗶𝗲𝗿𝗮: Do you realize what this means?
𝗟𝗮𝗯 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗞𝗶𝗲𝗿𝗮: I didn't fail my math test! Taco Bell did
𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗺𝘆: What? No. It means men have 3 brains!
My brother & I started a conga line in 2014. It grew massive, but in 2016, for health reasons, I was forced to leave my conga leadership position to return home
Last I heard, they'd impeded a bank robbery but also inadvertently facilitated a mass prison break
I haven't seen my brother in 10 years…
Last I heard, they'd impeded a bank robbery but also inadvertently facilitated a mass prison break
I haven't seen my brother in 10 years…
October 29, 2024 at 3:51 PM
My brother & I started a conga line in 2014. It grew massive, but in 2016, for health reasons, I was forced to leave my conga leadership position to return home
Last I heard, they'd impeded a bank robbery but also inadvertently facilitated a mass prison break
I haven't seen my brother in 10 years…
Last I heard, they'd impeded a bank robbery but also inadvertently facilitated a mass prison break
I haven't seen my brother in 10 years…
What is falling, if not a more thorough touching of the Earth?
October 16, 2024 at 5:20 PM
What is falling, if not a more thorough touching of the Earth?
If there's one thing that makes humans distinct, it's that we absolutely love our shiny things
From Pokémon to rocks, from personal résumés to transportation, if you put a shiny enough object, at the end of a string, and dangle it i— oh shit, we're fish.
We're all just a bunch of fish!
From Pokémon to rocks, from personal résumés to transportation, if you put a shiny enough object, at the end of a string, and dangle it i— oh shit, we're fish.
We're all just a bunch of fish!
October 4, 2024 at 7:12 AM
If there's one thing that makes humans distinct, it's that we absolutely love our shiny things
From Pokémon to rocks, from personal résumés to transportation, if you put a shiny enough object, at the end of a string, and dangle it i— oh shit, we're fish.
We're all just a bunch of fish!
From Pokémon to rocks, from personal résumés to transportation, if you put a shiny enough object, at the end of a string, and dangle it i— oh shit, we're fish.
We're all just a bunch of fish!
While not an exact quote, this paraphrasing isn't too far off from what a woman said to a boy doing a yoga stretch, at church
"Ladies… is it worth risking unsealing a portal to the dark-realm of Cthulhu, just so you can stretch like an Indian?"
Yet they wonder why younger generations don't attend…
"Ladies… is it worth risking unsealing a portal to the dark-realm of Cthulhu, just so you can stretch like an Indian?"
Yet they wonder why younger generations don't attend…
September 29, 2024 at 4:33 PM
While not an exact quote, this paraphrasing isn't too far off from what a woman said to a boy doing a yoga stretch, at church
"Ladies… is it worth risking unsealing a portal to the dark-realm of Cthulhu, just so you can stretch like an Indian?"
Yet they wonder why younger generations don't attend…
"Ladies… is it worth risking unsealing a portal to the dark-realm of Cthulhu, just so you can stretch like an Indian?"
Yet they wonder why younger generations don't attend…
My friends are greedy
They all want something from me
I don't have anything left to give
I'm like an old bone
In the back of the fridge
I could ask for what I want
So you could tell me what you need
There's no use trying anymore
I've got no home if it's not with you
open.spotify.com/track/6YKLlL...
They all want something from me
I don't have anything left to give
I'm like an old bone
In the back of the fridge
I could ask for what I want
So you could tell me what you need
There's no use trying anymore
I've got no home if it's not with you
open.spotify.com/track/6YKLlL...
Old Bone - Jim-E Stack Remix
Listen to Old Bone - Jim-E Stack Remix on Spotify. Song · Wet, Jim-E Stack · 2019
open.spotify.com
September 20, 2024 at 2:58 PM
My friends are greedy
They all want something from me
I don't have anything left to give
I'm like an old bone
In the back of the fridge
I could ask for what I want
So you could tell me what you need
There's no use trying anymore
I've got no home if it's not with you
open.spotify.com/track/6YKLlL...
They all want something from me
I don't have anything left to give
I'm like an old bone
In the back of the fridge
I could ask for what I want
So you could tell me what you need
There's no use trying anymore
I've got no home if it's not with you
open.spotify.com/track/6YKLlL...
I'm the 'Banksy' of breaking AI chat bots with my nonsensical reasoning skills
September 9, 2024 at 10:14 PM
I'm the 'Banksy' of breaking AI chat bots with my nonsensical reasoning skills
"There’s a profound wisdom hidden in the whispers of mushrooms that we’re yet to fully grasp. Given an opportunity, they might even break their silence & tell us what they’re dreaming about. After all, if mushrooms can move wheels, there’s not much they can’t do."
www.earth.com/news/mushroo...
www.earth.com/news/mushroo...
Mushroom is given a robot body and runs wild in fascinating video - Earth.com
Cornell scientists used king oyster mushrooms to control robots by harnessing their electrochemical signals.
www.earth.com
September 9, 2024 at 4:44 PM
"There’s a profound wisdom hidden in the whispers of mushrooms that we’re yet to fully grasp. Given an opportunity, they might even break their silence & tell us what they’re dreaming about. After all, if mushrooms can move wheels, there’s not much they can’t do."
www.earth.com/news/mushroo...
www.earth.com/news/mushroo...
Honestly, bravo. He kinda earned it... Free This Man!
September 8, 2024 at 2:18 AM
Honestly, bravo. He kinda earned it... Free This Man!
Relieve unnecessary Monday stress by doing Sunday twice #NoMoreMondays #EndTheMonday
September 7, 2024 at 1:48 PM
Relieve unnecessary Monday stress by doing Sunday twice #NoMoreMondays #EndTheMonday
If I could be any type of plant, I'd be a hydroelectric-power plant because it would be great if going with the flow energized me
September 6, 2024 at 9:41 PM
If I could be any type of plant, I'd be a hydroelectric-power plant because it would be great if going with the flow energized me
I'm a poor man with rich man temperature tastes
August 24, 2024 at 9:11 AM
I'm a poor man with rich man temperature tastes