William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
The Screenwriter who employs his Leisure ill
Reposted by William Gerrard
“I couldn’t help but wonder: Did the soft animal of my body long for someone who would gruesomely mishandle the carcass of the soft animal of my body?”
September 20, 2024 at 3:36 PM
“I couldn’t help but wonder: Did the soft animal of my body long for someone who would gruesomely mishandle the carcass of the soft animal of my body?”
“Baby, don't worry. It's not a worm.”
November 18, 2025 at 5:38 PM
“Baby, don't worry. It's not a worm.”
I’ve been taking photos of funny/bizarre LA vanity plates for 6 years now, and this is easily the strangest, most disturbing one I’ve seen yet
November 15, 2025 at 5:57 PM
I’ve been taking photos of funny/bizarre LA vanity plates for 6 years now, and this is easily the strangest, most disturbing one I’ve seen yet
Reposted by William Gerrard
An all-time great Etsy find
November 13, 2025 at 6:14 AM
An all-time great Etsy find
My 5yo asked me “does Frankenstein brush his teeth” around the time when he himself was going to have to brush his own, so I had to do some quick thinking about how my answer to the former was going to affect the success or failure of the latter
November 13, 2025 at 7:05 AM
My 5yo asked me “does Frankenstein brush his teeth” around the time when he himself was going to have to brush his own, so I had to do some quick thinking about how my answer to the former was going to affect the success or failure of the latter
An all-time great Etsy find
November 13, 2025 at 6:14 AM
An all-time great Etsy find
(standing handcuffed before Gen Alpha kangaroo court)
Judge: We find the defendant… skibidi
Me: Is that… is that good or bad
*jury laughs*
Judge: You are hereby sentenced to 6 7 years in a maximum security penitentiary
Me: (being dragged off) 67 or 6 to 7? 67 or 6 to 7?!?
Judge: We find the defendant… skibidi
Me: Is that… is that good or bad
*jury laughs*
Judge: You are hereby sentenced to 6 7 years in a maximum security penitentiary
Me: (being dragged off) 67 or 6 to 7? 67 or 6 to 7?!?
November 12, 2025 at 11:45 PM
(standing handcuffed before Gen Alpha kangaroo court)
Judge: We find the defendant… skibidi
Me: Is that… is that good or bad
*jury laughs*
Judge: You are hereby sentenced to 6 7 years in a maximum security penitentiary
Me: (being dragged off) 67 or 6 to 7? 67 or 6 to 7?!?
Judge: We find the defendant… skibidi
Me: Is that… is that good or bad
*jury laughs*
Judge: You are hereby sentenced to 6 7 years in a maximum security penitentiary
Me: (being dragged off) 67 or 6 to 7? 67 or 6 to 7?!?
Reposted by William Gerrard
The results for Michael Caine are admittedly impressive
November 12, 2025 at 4:20 AM
The results for Michael Caine are admittedly impressive
The results for Michael Caine are admittedly impressive
November 12, 2025 at 4:20 AM
The results for Michael Caine are admittedly impressive
His telepathic mutant brother growing out of his chest card never declines
November 10, 2025 at 6:11 PM
His telepathic mutant brother growing out of his chest card never declines
Can’t believe I only just learned that, on the night that Tucker Carlson supposedly got scratched by a demon in his sleep, he was in bed with not one, not two, not three, but *four* dogs, lol, lmao
November 10, 2025 at 6:43 AM
Can’t believe I only just learned that, on the night that Tucker Carlson supposedly got scratched by a demon in his sleep, he was in bed with not one, not two, not three, but *four* dogs, lol, lmao
Imagine your doctor doing this while you’re choking
November 10, 2025 at 5:06 AM
Imagine your doctor doing this while you’re choking
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a chopped unc in possession of a Millennial smirk must be in want of an aloof wife
November 9, 2025 at 3:51 PM
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a chopped unc in possession of a Millennial smirk must be in want of an aloof wife
JIMMY STEWART: Uncle Billy, th-that’s a J, not a G!
UNCLE BILLY (confused): Genius with a J…
JIMMY STEWART: You put eight thousand dollars in a bank that spells Genius with a J?!
UNCLE BILLY: Genius with a J…
UNCLE BILLY (confused): Genius with a J…
JIMMY STEWART: You put eight thousand dollars in a bank that spells Genius with a J?!
UNCLE BILLY: Genius with a J…
November 9, 2025 at 6:42 AM
JIMMY STEWART: Uncle Billy, th-that’s a J, not a G!
UNCLE BILLY (confused): Genius with a J…
JIMMY STEWART: You put eight thousand dollars in a bank that spells Genius with a J?!
UNCLE BILLY: Genius with a J…
UNCLE BILLY (confused): Genius with a J…
JIMMY STEWART: You put eight thousand dollars in a bank that spells Genius with a J?!
UNCLE BILLY: Genius with a J…
It’s not a thirst trap, it’s a
November 8, 2025 at 11:22 PM
It’s not a thirst trap, it’s a
Reposted by William Gerrard
Incredibly courageous to take part in this conversation with a name like that
November 7, 2025 at 5:23 PM
Incredibly courageous to take part in this conversation with a name like that
Incredibly courageous to take part in this conversation with a name like that
November 7, 2025 at 5:23 PM
Incredibly courageous to take part in this conversation with a name like that
The concept of “hanging chads” from the Florida recount in 2000 now sounds like an incel Day of the Rope
November 6, 2025 at 12:26 PM
The concept of “hanging chads” from the Florida recount in 2000 now sounds like an incel Day of the Rope
This cover idea beat out one that focused on Cuomo’s loss with the headline “Italian Iced”
November 6, 2025 at 12:39 AM
This cover idea beat out one that focused on Cuomo’s loss with the headline “Italian Iced”
New Yorkers forgot about this, smh
November 5, 2025 at 5:29 PM
New Yorkers forgot about this, smh
Turn your haters into…. mayors?!?!?!
November 5, 2025 at 1:30 PM
Turn your haters into…. mayors?!?!?!
Reposted by William Gerrard
Like in the Hudsucker Proxy when Hudsucker splats on the pavement just as Norville is entering the building
Happy Election Day. Some people really meant it when they said they were gonna leave if Mamdani won.
November 4, 2025 at 6:12 PM
Like in the Hudsucker Proxy when Hudsucker splats on the pavement just as Norville is entering the building
*New Yorker experiencing Zeno’s paradox of motion* eyy, I’m always walkin halfway and thus never really walkin at all over here
November 4, 2025 at 10:58 PM
*New Yorker experiencing Zeno’s paradox of motion* eyy, I’m always walkin halfway and thus never really walkin at all over here