Bhav Patel (Dodonerd)
@bhav.bsky.social
They don't know I'm a niche internet micro-celebrity in the fields of Analytics, Data and Experimentation. Specifically Product Analytics. Data Director at Huel
Pinned
Bhav Patel (Dodonerd)
@bhav.bsky.social
· Dec 21
Ho Ho Ho. Data Clause has come early. My post on writing SQL in Google Sheets got a lot of love so I've written a full user guide on using the Google Sheets query function. This post is written fo...
Ho Ho Ho. Data Clause has come early. My post on writing SQL in Google Sheets got a lot of love so I've written a full user guide on using the Google Sheets query function. This post is written for be...
www.linkedin.com
I've written a guide to using SQL in google sheets. It serves as a nice intro for anyone who has always wanted to learn but has been worried about breaking their data warehouse by accident haha. The link below is for the Linkedin Post that will take you to the post.
www.linkedin.com/posts/dodone...
www.linkedin.com/posts/dodone...
Decided my side hustle is going to be coaching senior execs to be more active on linkedin through humorous posts. Like a professional coach for people who need to become bigger wankers.
January 22, 2026 at 8:06 AM
Decided my side hustle is going to be coaching senior execs to be more active on linkedin through humorous posts. Like a professional coach for people who need to become bigger wankers.
Anyone needing a solid gym play list should try out the F1 movie soundtrack by Hans Zimmer. Its mental.
January 17, 2026 at 10:12 AM
Anyone needing a solid gym play list should try out the F1 movie soundtrack by Hans Zimmer. Its mental.
I got my first Brilliant ever! Huge day.
January 16, 2026 at 8:05 AM
I got my first Brilliant ever! Huge day.
Every now and then I watch The Hunger Games to remind myself that we already live in an us and them world and that we're all just tributes sacrificed for their entertainment.
January 14, 2026 at 10:54 PM
Every now and then I watch The Hunger Games to remind myself that we already live in an us and them world and that we're all just tributes sacrificed for their entertainment.
Maybe Thanos was on to something.
January 12, 2026 at 8:23 AM
Maybe Thanos was on to something.
I love the town I live in, but the residents have no sense of humour. Here is a screenshot from our towns whatsapp group:
January 11, 2026 at 12:32 PM
I love the town I live in, but the residents have no sense of humour. Here is a screenshot from our towns whatsapp group:
I met all the Shaun the Sheep today at Wrest Park! (
January 10, 2026 at 9:54 PM
I met all the Shaun the Sheep today at Wrest Park! (
This cartoon is so true
January 9, 2026 at 10:54 PM
This cartoon is so true
The older I get, the easier I find it to be confrontational but also the less I give a shit about being confrontational.
January 9, 2026 at 3:13 PM
The older I get, the easier I find it to be confrontational but also the less I give a shit about being confrontational.
Reposted by Bhav Patel (Dodonerd)
My most searched article on Google in December 😆
Rubiks Cube: How to solve it
What challenged me to solve one myself: There are so many possible configurations (over 43 quintillions) that it would be impossible to solve it by randomly turning the faces until it’s all done.
www.ssp.sh
January 9, 2026 at 9:53 AM
My most searched article on Google in December 😆
Saw this on reddit today and honestly...
January 8, 2026 at 8:59 PM
Saw this on reddit today and honestly...
I like to randomly message my best mates with a message that gets them to go "awww... wait what the fuck". For example:
"Hey mate, was thinking about you in the shower today so thought I'd say hey. Hows the family?"
or
"Hey mate, was in bed thinking about you last night. Dinner next week?"
"Hey mate, was thinking about you in the shower today so thought I'd say hey. Hows the family?"
or
"Hey mate, was in bed thinking about you last night. Dinner next week?"
January 7, 2026 at 12:13 PM
I like to randomly message my best mates with a message that gets them to go "awww... wait what the fuck". For example:
"Hey mate, was thinking about you in the shower today so thought I'd say hey. Hows the family?"
or
"Hey mate, was in bed thinking about you last night. Dinner next week?"
"Hey mate, was thinking about you in the shower today so thought I'd say hey. Hows the family?"
or
"Hey mate, was in bed thinking about you last night. Dinner next week?"
People who say "the customer is always right" have never had to deal with any of my stakeholders.
January 7, 2026 at 9:01 AM
People who say "the customer is always right" have never had to deal with any of my stakeholders.
Whenever I tell people about that I do boxing, I really have to emphasise that its not a boxercise class. I'm not sure why.
January 7, 2026 at 8:48 AM
Whenever I tell people about that I do boxing, I really have to emphasise that its not a boxercise class. I'm not sure why.
It occurred to me this morning that counter culture is true driver of capitalism. It continues to fuel it.
January 6, 2026 at 9:26 AM
It occurred to me this morning that counter culture is true driver of capitalism. It continues to fuel it.
Doctor: Do you have a sedentary lifestyle?
Me: I'm not a complete rock, I do move away from my desk occasionally.
Doctor: Sedentary, not sedimentary.
Me: I'm not a complete rock, I do move away from my desk occasionally.
Doctor: Sedentary, not sedimentary.
January 4, 2026 at 7:28 PM
Doctor: Do you have a sedentary lifestyle?
Me: I'm not a complete rock, I do move away from my desk occasionally.
Doctor: Sedentary, not sedimentary.
Me: I'm not a complete rock, I do move away from my desk occasionally.
Doctor: Sedentary, not sedimentary.
Is anyone following the traitors UK? I figured out who the secret traitor is but I dont want to give spoilers.
January 3, 2026 at 10:11 AM
Is anyone following the traitors UK? I figured out who the secret traitor is but I dont want to give spoilers.
Traitors is back!!!!!
January 1, 2026 at 8:52 PM
Traitors is back!!!!!
Happy new year ya filthy animals
January 1, 2026 at 9:27 AM
Happy new year ya filthy animals
"People don't leave bad jobs, they leave bad data" - Bhavik Patel.
December 31, 2025 at 7:32 PM
"People don't leave bad jobs, they leave bad data" - Bhavik Patel.
"At my last job, we used this other analytics platform. It was really easy to use"
Me: "So why d'you leave?"
Me: "So why d'you leave?"
December 30, 2025 at 8:59 AM
"At my last job, we used this other analytics platform. It was really easy to use"
Me: "So why d'you leave?"
Me: "So why d'you leave?"
Yes Mark that's exactly how it works. Historians do the exact same thing. Economists cant predict the future, they're not magicians. Once the future has happened they try to piece it back together.
What's that old saying: "Past performance is not indicative of future performance".
What's that old saying: "Past performance is not indicative of future performance".
December 29, 2025 at 3:49 PM
Yes Mark that's exactly how it works. Historians do the exact same thing. Economists cant predict the future, they're not magicians. Once the future has happened they try to piece it back together.
What's that old saying: "Past performance is not indicative of future performance".
What's that old saying: "Past performance is not indicative of future performance".
I've decided I'm going to be the CEO of a company/any company by the time I'm 45... and no I don't mean start my own consultancy and give myself the job title of CEO.
This gives me just under 4 years!
(If anyone wants to let me be the ceo of their company that would be really helpful).
This gives me just under 4 years!
(If anyone wants to let me be the ceo of their company that would be really helpful).
December 28, 2025 at 7:57 PM
I've decided I'm going to be the CEO of a company/any company by the time I'm 45... and no I don't mean start my own consultancy and give myself the job title of CEO.
This gives me just under 4 years!
(If anyone wants to let me be the ceo of their company that would be really helpful).
This gives me just under 4 years!
(If anyone wants to let me be the ceo of their company that would be really helpful).
We found the solution to our Fivetran issue! We paused the Shopify connector and deselected a couple of tables, re-enabled the connector and synced it. We looked through our code and we couldn't find these tables in any of them... this scene from friends comes to mind
www.youtube.com/shorts/swwZh...
www.youtube.com/shorts/swwZh...
Joey? What does this light switch do? l FRIENDS #shorts #comedy #funny #friends
YouTube video by Comedy Series HUB
www.youtube.com
December 28, 2025 at 12:26 AM
We found the solution to our Fivetran issue! We paused the Shopify connector and deselected a couple of tables, re-enabled the connector and synced it. We looked through our code and we couldn't find these tables in any of them... this scene from friends comes to mind
www.youtube.com/shorts/swwZh...
www.youtube.com/shorts/swwZh...