Who's got two thumbs and can I have one?
November 22, 2025 at 5:52 PM
Who's got two thumbs and can I have one?
I'm really starting to embrace an NPC lifestyle. I love to wander back and forth, I wear clothes, I threaten anyone who dares walk under my bridge, if you select the third option I stab - it's good!
November 21, 2025 at 10:17 AM
I'm really starting to embrace an NPC lifestyle. I love to wander back and forth, I wear clothes, I threaten anyone who dares walk under my bridge, if you select the third option I stab - it's good!
Clippy ripped me off??! That mouthy cunt.
November 5, 2025 at 11:01 PM
Clippy ripped me off??! That mouthy cunt.
It's weird that graffiti isn't a pasta. I should be able to eat graffiti and meatballs.
November 4, 2025 at 10:11 PM
It's weird that graffiti isn't a pasta. I should be able to eat graffiti and meatballs.
Oh no! I thought I would get raptured so I spent my superannuation on little treats!! I goofed my retirement!!! Please buy my ebay labubus!!!!
September 23, 2025 at 11:25 PM
Oh no! I thought I would get raptured so I spent my superannuation on little treats!! I goofed my retirement!!! Please buy my ebay labubus!!!!
Air fryer?? I hardly know her!!!!!
PLEASE DO NOT MAKE ME CRISP UP THIS WOMAN STRANGER.
PLEASE DO NOT MAKE ME CRISP UP THIS WOMAN STRANGER.
September 10, 2025 at 12:38 PM
Air fryer?? I hardly know her!!!!!
PLEASE DO NOT MAKE ME CRISP UP THIS WOMAN STRANGER.
PLEASE DO NOT MAKE ME CRISP UP THIS WOMAN STRANGER.
I keep worrying that I never wear sunscreen but then I remember I don't go outside. The ultimate sunscreen? Roof.
September 2, 2025 at 2:55 AM
I keep worrying that I never wear sunscreen but then I remember I don't go outside. The ultimate sunscreen? Roof.
I find it difficult to relate to a lot of people but every video I see of a seal, I'm like, "I get it, man."
August 9, 2025 at 12:53 AM
I find it difficult to relate to a lot of people but every video I see of a seal, I'm like, "I get it, man."
'The Subway' is about me. I have green hair and am there all the time. I love sweet onion chicken teriyaki.
August 3, 2025 at 10:12 AM
'The Subway' is about me. I have green hair and am there all the time. I love sweet onion chicken teriyaki.
Ah the weekend, time to catch up on my stories.
(𝘞𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘪𝘬𝘵𝘰𝘬𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘶𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘮'𝘴 𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴)
(𝘞𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘪𝘬𝘵𝘰𝘬𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘶𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘮'𝘴 𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴)
July 26, 2025 at 12:46 AM
Ah the weekend, time to catch up on my stories.
(𝘞𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘪𝘬𝘵𝘰𝘬𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘶𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘮'𝘴 𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴)
(𝘞𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘪𝘬𝘵𝘰𝘬𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘶𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘮'𝘴 𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴)
Um no I'VE got Bette Davis' eyes and I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE THEM.
July 10, 2025 at 2:53 PM
Um no I'VE got Bette Davis' eyes and I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE THEM.
Michelin star chefs think they're allllll that!!! Alright cook me doritos nachos!! They would have no idea how to make dip I eat off a spoon! And they couldn't comprehend butter noodle!!!!
July 5, 2025 at 11:43 AM
Michelin star chefs think they're allllll that!!! Alright cook me doritos nachos!! They would have no idea how to make dip I eat off a spoon! And they couldn't comprehend butter noodle!!!!
I was just trying to be the best court jester, I don't think I deserved to get got for contempt of court :(
July 4, 2025 at 2:59 AM
I was just trying to be the best court jester, I don't think I deserved to get got for contempt of court :(
"...well, is there a Mrs I???"
"-THIS IS VERY SERIOUS!! You threw a cutlery drawer at the MRI-"
"-I shoulda known Mr I was attractive!!"
"A MAN IS DEAD"
"-THIS IS VERY SERIOUS!! You threw a cutlery drawer at the MRI-"
"-I shoulda known Mr I was attractive!!"
"A MAN IS DEAD"
June 26, 2025 at 6:23 AM
"...well, is there a Mrs I???"
"-THIS IS VERY SERIOUS!! You threw a cutlery drawer at the MRI-"
"-I shoulda known Mr I was attractive!!"
"A MAN IS DEAD"
"-THIS IS VERY SERIOUS!! You threw a cutlery drawer at the MRI-"
"-I shoulda known Mr I was attractive!!"
"A MAN IS DEAD"
Reposted by Bec Petraitis
That's old sonic the hedgehog there. Always going fast, he was. Always getting pregnant.
June 23, 2025 at 8:45 AM
That's old sonic the hedgehog there. Always going fast, he was. Always getting pregnant.
A 'Looka-like Cam!' graphic flashes across the baseball stadium screen as a star wipe reveals a big image of a butt. The butt image shrinks down to allow for a split screen with its looka-like, sitting in the stands. It's you. The man in the control room thinks you look like a butt.
June 19, 2025 at 3:44 PM
A 'Looka-like Cam!' graphic flashes across the baseball stadium screen as a star wipe reveals a big image of a butt. The butt image shrinks down to allow for a split screen with its looka-like, sitting in the stands. It's you. The man in the control room thinks you look like a butt.
Bought my first house, tore back the carpet and was blessed with the original flooring!! It's vintage dirt! Worms and all!!
June 15, 2025 at 12:02 PM
Bought my first house, tore back the carpet and was blessed with the original flooring!! It's vintage dirt! Worms and all!!
"My dog is my doctor. A dogtor if you will-"
"-ma'am I can't fill a prescription written in dog piss."
"-ma'am I can't fill a prescription written in dog piss."
June 11, 2025 at 5:50 AM
"My dog is my doctor. A dogtor if you will-"
"-ma'am I can't fill a prescription written in dog piss."
"-ma'am I can't fill a prescription written in dog piss."
Going to a colour analysis appointment just to feel the texture of the fabrics, let me at em
June 11, 2025 at 3:56 AM
Going to a colour analysis appointment just to feel the texture of the fabrics, let me at em
I need an ambulance I can catch like uber pool, for when I've broke my leg but can hold it for a stop or two. This will save money and gives me the welcome distraction of avoiding chit chat.
June 1, 2025 at 12:53 PM
I need an ambulance I can catch like uber pool, for when I've broke my leg but can hold it for a stop or two. This will save money and gives me the welcome distraction of avoiding chit chat.
UhhH yeah I've got BDE.
Big Dipshit Energy 😎
Big Dipshit Energy 😎
May 21, 2025 at 11:17 AM
UhhH yeah I've got BDE.
Big Dipshit Energy 😎
Big Dipshit Energy 😎
Bought my first house!! Got a discount cause someone did a murder in it! Two bedrooms!!
May 17, 2025 at 5:39 AM
Bought my first house!! Got a discount cause someone did a murder in it! Two bedrooms!!
Buying my own personal ball pit so only I can piss in it <3
May 17, 2025 at 12:15 AM
Buying my own personal ball pit so only I can piss in it <3
I want to claim knick-knacks on tax
May 10, 2025 at 3:16 AM
I want to claim knick-knacks on tax
Gonna be the new Benson Boone but do cartwheels and scream.
May 8, 2025 at 9:38 AM
Gonna be the new Benson Boone but do cartwheels and scream.