Athena Scalzi
@athenascalzi.com
Hey there! Welcome to my profile. Expect mostly nonsense and sometimes boba tea pictures. Plus I write stuff!
The table of three women next to me are talking about Cars 2, specifically the scene where Mater eats wasabi. One of the other ladies said that happens in Cars 3, and the other woman backed her up. The first woman was like “are you sure?” and the other two were like, “yes 100%”
THEY ARE WRONGGGG 💀💀
THEY ARE WRONGGGG 💀💀
February 12, 2026 at 11:45 PM
The table of three women next to me are talking about Cars 2, specifically the scene where Mater eats wasabi. One of the other ladies said that happens in Cars 3, and the other woman backed her up. The first woman was like “are you sure?” and the other two were like, “yes 100%”
THEY ARE WRONGGGG 💀💀
THEY ARE WRONGGGG 💀💀
Listen, I’m not saying that I just ate an entire half of the loaf of banana bread I just baked, but I’m also not NOT saying that
February 9, 2026 at 7:29 PM
Listen, I’m not saying that I just ate an entire half of the loaf of banana bread I just baked, but I’m also not NOT saying that
“You’d look great in this” ma’am that is a shoehorn
February 9, 2026 at 2:54 PM
“You’d look great in this” ma’am that is a shoehorn
There’s so many moments where I wish I could think of something to say that’s clever or witty as a retort, but more often than not I’m just so flabbergasted by the nerve of people.
This old man sitting across the bar from me said “hungry tonight, huh?” when my food arrived. I’m actually so dead 💀
This old man sitting across the bar from me said “hungry tonight, huh?” when my food arrived. I’m actually so dead 💀
February 6, 2026 at 12:42 AM
There’s so many moments where I wish I could think of something to say that’s clever or witty as a retort, but more often than not I’m just so flabbergasted by the nerve of people.
This old man sitting across the bar from me said “hungry tonight, huh?” when my food arrived. I’m actually so dead 💀
This old man sitting across the bar from me said “hungry tonight, huh?” when my food arrived. I’m actually so dead 💀
Y’ALL I have the best readers everrr, a lovely lady gifted me these amazing spices! What a great variety!
January 29, 2026 at 3:54 AM
Y’ALL I have the best readers everrr, a lovely lady gifted me these amazing spices! What a great variety!
I have discovered (painfully) that cheap canvas shoes are not a good idea for 10 degree weather. It was nice having toes while they lasted.
January 28, 2026 at 8:24 PM
I have discovered (painfully) that cheap canvas shoes are not a good idea for 10 degree weather. It was nice having toes while they lasted.
These types of interactions always make me laugh. I’m committed.
January 28, 2026 at 7:17 PM
These types of interactions always make me laugh. I’m committed.
DAD YOU LITERALLY KNEW MOM WAS MAKING SPAGHETTI FOR LUNCH AND YOU RUINED YOUR APPETITE
ALSO THOSE WERE THE LAST BROWNIES AND YOU DIDNT EVEN GIVE ME A BITE 😭
ALSO THOSE WERE THE LAST BROWNIES AND YOU DIDNT EVEN GIVE ME A BITE 😭
I present to you the Peanut Butter and Jelly Brownie, you can just go ahead and give me the James Beard Award now, thank you
(PS: It was terrific)
(PS: It was terrific)
January 28, 2026 at 4:53 PM
DAD YOU LITERALLY KNEW MOM WAS MAKING SPAGHETTI FOR LUNCH AND YOU RUINED YOUR APPETITE
ALSO THOSE WERE THE LAST BROWNIES AND YOU DIDNT EVEN GIVE ME A BITE 😭
ALSO THOSE WERE THE LAST BROWNIES AND YOU DIDNT EVEN GIVE ME A BITE 😭
Does anyone have like a scientific explanation as to why Paramount+ is the most jankiest, absolute ass platform ever? God forbid I try to pause the show I’m watching. Or type something into the search bar. Paramount+ doesn’t give a DAMN what you want 😭
January 21, 2026 at 8:42 PM
Does anyone have like a scientific explanation as to why Paramount+ is the most jankiest, absolute ass platform ever? God forbid I try to pause the show I’m watching. Or type something into the search bar. Paramount+ doesn’t give a DAMN what you want 😭
I’m at a soft opening for this adorable book and wine shop and look who they have! In two formats! @amalelmohtar.com
January 14, 2026 at 10:52 PM
I’m at a soft opening for this adorable book and wine shop and look who they have! In two formats! @amalelmohtar.com
I bought a lot of stuff in 2025. With costs rising and so many fake brands, it’s hard to know what kind of quality you’re getting for your buck. That’s why I decided to tell y’all about six brands I bought from last year that I think are worth every penny!
whatever.scalzi.com/2026/01/05/s...
whatever.scalzi.com/2026/01/05/s...
January 6, 2026 at 8:06 PM
I bought a lot of stuff in 2025. With costs rising and so many fake brands, it’s hard to know what kind of quality you’re getting for your buck. That’s why I decided to tell y’all about six brands I bought from last year that I think are worth every penny!
whatever.scalzi.com/2026/01/05/s...
whatever.scalzi.com/2026/01/05/s...
I’m at a bar where both the mens and womens restrooms have broken doors that don’t close or lock correctly. I’m ready for the worst vodka cran of my life from the meanest bartender ever.
January 5, 2026 at 11:03 PM
I’m at a bar where both the mens and womens restrooms have broken doors that don’t close or lock correctly. I’m ready for the worst vodka cran of my life from the meanest bartender ever.
I made some sticky ginger bars (recipe from Justine Dorion)! Check out the process and all that good stuff on the blog :)
whatever.scalzi.com/2025/12/18/t...
whatever.scalzi.com/2025/12/18/t...
December 19, 2025 at 3:38 AM
I made some sticky ginger bars (recipe from Justine Dorion)! Check out the process and all that good stuff on the blog :)
whatever.scalzi.com/2025/12/18/t...
whatever.scalzi.com/2025/12/18/t...
Just found a truly unbeatable mug at Kohl’s lmao
December 17, 2025 at 10:08 PM
Just found a truly unbeatable mug at Kohl’s lmao
Just talked to a very nice girl on the phone and I said “thanks have a nice day” and she hit me with “have a great week”
A great WEEK?! She out-pleasantried me!! Never before seen. Clearly extraordinary customer service.
A great WEEK?! She out-pleasantried me!! Never before seen. Clearly extraordinary customer service.
December 15, 2025 at 3:36 PM
Just talked to a very nice girl on the phone and I said “thanks have a nice day” and she hit me with “have a great week”
A great WEEK?! She out-pleasantried me!! Never before seen. Clearly extraordinary customer service.
A great WEEK?! She out-pleasantried me!! Never before seen. Clearly extraordinary customer service.
Made with love! And brown butter. Which is honestly better than love.
Nearly everything is terrible but @athenascalzi.com has made cookies and they are terrific, so that's one good thing in my day at least.
December 15, 2025 at 3:05 PM
Made with love! And brown butter. Which is honestly better than love.
One thing I forgot to mention in my post about moving and the house, is that I’m already very sick and tired of people seeing the house (like plumbers etc.) and saying that I should fill it with children. Because that’s all a woman homeowner is good for, right?
whatever.scalzi.com/2025/12/11/w...
whatever.scalzi.com/2025/12/11/w...
December 12, 2025 at 7:04 PM
One thing I forgot to mention in my post about moving and the house, is that I’m already very sick and tired of people seeing the house (like plumbers etc.) and saying that I should fill it with children. Because that’s all a woman homeowner is good for, right?
whatever.scalzi.com/2025/12/11/w...
whatever.scalzi.com/2025/12/11/w...
I donate to Wikipedia every year because I believe in free accessible information for everyone, but GODDAMN do they email me like a forlorn ex who just wants to make it work
December 11, 2025 at 3:23 PM
I donate to Wikipedia every year because I believe in free accessible information for everyone, but GODDAMN do they email me like a forlorn ex who just wants to make it work
I hate to be such a nit picky bitch (jk I love it) but it irks me when people say “powderpuff girls” instead of “powerpuff.” I know you’re thinking well how often does someone even bring up or mention that cartoon? A lot apparently! Because three times this week someone has said powderpuff instead!!
December 5, 2025 at 3:15 PM
I hate to be such a nit picky bitch (jk I love it) but it irks me when people say “powderpuff girls” instead of “powerpuff.” I know you’re thinking well how often does someone even bring up or mention that cartoon? A lot apparently! Because three times this week someone has said powderpuff instead!!
And I’ll never read a single one mwahaha
December 3, 2025 at 7:36 PM
And I’ll never read a single one mwahaha
I’m an iced latte kinda bitch but I got a hot coffee for once in my life because it’s so cold and windy out, and it was so amazing and cozy.. for about ten minutes. Now my coffee is cold and unpleasant. At least when iced coffee gets to room temperature it’s still palatable, this is just gross now 😭
November 30, 2025 at 6:56 PM
I’m an iced latte kinda bitch but I got a hot coffee for once in my life because it’s so cold and windy out, and it was so amazing and cozy.. for about ten minutes. Now my coffee is cold and unpleasant. At least when iced coffee gets to room temperature it’s still palatable, this is just gross now 😭
If you’ve ever wondered what 20 trash bags worth of Squishmallows (and a handful of non Squishmallow plushies) looks like, here you go! I still have about five more bags to rip open and add to the pile.
November 30, 2025 at 3:07 PM
If you’ve ever wondered what 20 trash bags worth of Squishmallows (and a handful of non Squishmallow plushies) looks like, here you go! I still have about five more bags to rip open and add to the pile.
Scalzi™️ runs on dry cereal and Coke Zero. This is even more energy efficient than his previous solar powered functions, which didn’t pan out because he doesn’t go outside.
Well, yes, that's the problem. It wouldn't be helping, it would just be making more work for me because I would have to clean up its prose. I want to write my own stuff, not edit what an LLM puts out. Plus I am more energy efficient.
I anticipate that if you asked an AI to help you write anything, the quality would be LESS than if you just did it yourself.
November 26, 2025 at 4:36 PM
Scalzi™️ runs on dry cereal and Coke Zero. This is even more energy efficient than his previous solar powered functions, which didn’t pan out because he doesn’t go outside.
None pizza with left beef
That point ONLY arrives when you've done away with the cheese, pasata, AND the flatbread.
November 26, 2025 at 4:35 PM
None pizza with left beef
Guess who found out about this little fact AFTER getting a tattoo
November 26, 2025 at 5:17 AM
Guess who found out about this little fact AFTER getting a tattoo