Arielle Ivy NYC 🧜‍♀️💕
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arielleivy.com
Arielle Ivy NYC 🧜‍♀️💕
@arielleivy.com
Chaotic Good sea witch, always looking for my next adventure. 💕🏳️‍🌈🇦🇱✡🦓🏴

📍NYC and FMTY ✈️

https://campsite.bio/arielleivy
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As usual, I'm available for hire on Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, & Christmas! You can bring your favorite anticolonial Jew to your family gathering as a fake girlfriend or ditch your family for some private time, whatever your preference. 😉

📸 by the inimitable @taryncarterphoto.bsky.social
People love talking shit about NY, but for a place y'all claim to hate so much, you can't stop talking about us. We're living in your minds. I personally don't spend this much time thinking about places I've never been and filling my mind with irate fantasies. Alexa, play Obsessed by Mariah Carey.
November 16, 2025 at 5:12 PM
I hope all my clients know that if they take me to a restaurant that doesn't have desserts, we're stopping at a bakery after or at minimum a bodega to get some candy. I'm getting a dessert, damn it!
November 15, 2025 at 5:32 PM
I often get comments saying something along the lines of "ew body hair" like I'm supposed to give a fuck, and it would blow their mind how many men specifically pay me large amounts of money to fuck me *because* I have body hair. 😈
November 14, 2025 at 5:11 PM
Every euphemism for sex is so silly. Making love sounds ridiculous, no sleeping happens in "sleeping together," doing the dirty is just awful, why are people so against just saying what's actually happening? If you're not mature enough to say the word sex, you're not mature enough to be having it.
November 13, 2025 at 5:09 PM
Far too many people in our society assume that if you hate Republicans, you must be a Democrat. They truly cannot fathom anything outside this wretched 2 party system. Some of us are more evolved that that!
November 12, 2025 at 5:37 PM
As an avid D&D player, I will never get over conservatives in the 80s pushing the narrative that D&D is a psyop to convert people to satanism or whatever. In my experience, if anything, it's converting people to being anarchists lmao.
November 11, 2025 at 5:34 PM
The idea that so many men are jacking off with lotion is so strange to me. Why aren't y'all using lube?? You're adults, you can buy lube! You're not a teenager anymore trying to get whatever you can use from your mom's bathroom! Grow up and use something meant for this very purpose!
November 10, 2025 at 5:17 PM
Reposted by Arielle Ivy NYC 🧜‍♀️💕
As usual, I'm available for hire on Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, & Christmas! You can bring your favorite anticolonial Jew to your family gathering as a fake girlfriend or ditch your family for some private time, whatever your preference. 😉

📸 by the inimitable @taryncarterphoto.bsky.social
November 3, 2025 at 4:58 PM
WALL-E was propaganda aimed at convincing us of the idea that AI will save us & the myth of personal responsibility fixing the climate crisis. Packaging it as a cute little robot got into our emotions to endear us to these ideas as it was in its early stages of development. In this essay, I will
November 9, 2025 at 7:10 PM
People love moving to NY and complaining that their shoes that lasted them years in whatever place they're from only lasted a few months here, but like... how much were you walking in Omaha or wherever you lived before? This is a WALKING city, not all shoes are built for that.
November 8, 2025 at 5:27 PM
Not to be a hater but I am one- I haaaaate all those terms like neurospicy, etc.... They don't actually describe anything specific and they sound so patronizing to my ears. Same energy as when people call me "spicy white" 🤢
November 7, 2025 at 5:28 PM
My mom is one of those people with 10,000 unread texts/emails and it stresses me tf out, so the last time I saw her, I went through her phone and unsubscribed to all the silly shit she was getting messages about and didn't need. Is this a service I should offer in this job too? 😂
November 6, 2025 at 5:18 PM
Reposted by Arielle Ivy NYC 🧜‍♀️💕
There's a very real possibility the incoming NYC mayor has seen your nudes
This labeller never misses
November 5, 2025 at 7:47 PM
It's been lovely having positive opinions about Zohran all these months, but alas, now we must start our proud NY tradition of hating our mayor. A merry fuck every politician day to you all! 💕
November 5, 2025 at 5:18 PM
The other day some friends were talking about how they used to use the Craigslist Missed Connections section back in the day and asked me if I ever did. I had to tell them the activities I was up to on Craigslist circia 2017 were veeeeeeery different than browsing the missed connections lmao. Iykyk🌹
November 4, 2025 at 5:16 PM
As usual, I'm available for hire on Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, & Christmas! You can bring your favorite anticolonial Jew to your family gathering as a fake girlfriend or ditch your family for some private time, whatever your preference. 😉

📸 by the inimitable @taryncarterphoto.bsky.social
November 3, 2025 at 4:58 PM
I *always* want to look at the dessert menu
The “She seems so cool on Twitter” to “I know she’ll want to take a look at the the dessert menu” pipeline
November 3, 2025 at 1:39 AM
What happened to commercial jingles? I miss them! I feel like it's good advertising too, that shit gets stuck in your head.
November 2, 2025 at 5:12 PM
It's the best day of the year! Happy Halloween, here's an ancient pic of me celebrating the best way I know how: covered in blood.
October 31, 2025 at 4:17 PM
I don't do drugs, but I am getting high of the fumes of e6000 while I rhinestone demon horns for my Halloween costume. Breaking edge for glamour. ✨
October 30, 2025 at 4:16 PM
Apparently when I was little, I got scared by a Halloween decoration in my building and I told my grandma "Halloween things shouldn't be scary, they should be pretty." Joke's on little me- All my adult costumes are pretty and I'M the scary thing. The prettier something is, the scarier it is. 😈
October 29, 2025 at 4:27 PM
The pervasive societal idea that SWs are dressing in the sluttiest, skimpiest possible outfits to see our clients is especially wild considering how hostile the world is to SWs and women as a whole, and that dressing as an "obvious whore" would actively put our safety in danger.
October 28, 2025 at 4:13 PM
Here, have the best picture I've ever taken of Poseidon.
October 27, 2025 at 4:29 PM
People have been incessantly telling me they're very intimidated by me my whole life so I guess I'm gonna go with a 9? But I'd love to hear something to the contrary, I find it very silly. I'm just some guy!
I’d say I’m about a 6 on the intimidation scale — but only because people often tell me I’m intimidating.
October 25, 2025 at 2:59 PM
You know when you're laying around naked and you just look down at your beautiful, perfect breasts and have no choice but to be thankful that you have the opportunity to look at a great pair of tits whenever you want? Just me?
October 24, 2025 at 4:22 PM