"I actually would be happy if they banned Tik Tok. I think I would be more productive"
My 17yo while he scrolls through tik Tok 🥳🎉🤯

I don't believe in New Years resolutions, but I have always enjoyed a theme or a challenge throughout the year. Last year I focused on only purchasing clothing from local boutiques or thrifting. This year is a repeat + an addition of daily meditation/manifestation practice. 2% better every year.

@bsky.app is one of the sleepiest socials I've ever decided to partake in.

Saxophone inventor: each button plays a different note

Trombone inventor: trombone goes WOOooooOOmp

ME: and make mine a double

WAITER: your..your tater tots?

ME: you heard me

Is cereal just lazy gazpacho?

Funny people, where yat?

Today is a day of SWOT analysis, and strategic planning and goal setting and I CANT WAIT

#CommercialRealEstate #b2bmarketing

One of my favorite clients is a dog toy company... General contractors are cool and all, but dog toys? Way cooler.

Content creators on YouTube, please stop saying "smash that subscribe button". I can't afford anymore keyboards and mice.

cashier: do you have a chip

me: *looks at shoulder*

cashier: on your card, ma’am?

What my teenager taught me before 8AM: "Did you know when a whale carcass is frozen the skin is exactly like a thick rubber tire? I touched it and it smelled funny"

#themoreyouknow

It feels like a paradox to have opened my own marketing agency but being personally resistant to new social platforms.
#millenialmarketer

Living in a cabin mean pretending that the creaking floorboards are 'charming' and not mildly terrifying at 2 AM.

Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish, he'll contribute to the global overdepletion of the ocean.
So give him a salad, maybe.