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Guys, are we wearing our capes tonight? Put on your damn cape. We're going to the Waffle House.
February 11, 2026 at 4:55 AM
Guys, are we wearing our capes tonight? Put on your damn cape. We're going to the Waffle House.
In 1984, if the stewardess gave you the whole can of Canada Dry, then that meant you were her little sweetie.
February 5, 2026 at 2:17 AM
In 1984, if the stewardess gave you the whole can of Canada Dry, then that meant you were her little sweetie.
Oh get down, turn around, go to town, blue-footed booby.
February 2, 2026 at 3:24 PM
Oh get down, turn around, go to town, blue-footed booby.
If you've ever seen another person "try" to do a form pushup, then you understand how disgusted I am right now.
January 29, 2026 at 1:58 PM
If you've ever seen another person "try" to do a form pushup, then you understand how disgusted I am right now.
People forget Whitney Houston died.
January 23, 2026 at 5:24 PM
People forget Whitney Houston died.
The Generational Grave-Pissing Company You Can Trust
January 23, 2026 at 4:45 PM
The Generational Grave-Pissing Company You Can Trust
"I'm going to make it to 100!"
No, Betty White. You will die a fool.
No, Betty White. You will die a fool.
January 22, 2026 at 3:01 PM
"I'm going to make it to 100!"
No, Betty White. You will die a fool.
No, Betty White. You will die a fool.
It would help if Discord would add a Pedophile emoji.
January 21, 2026 at 11:43 PM
It would help if Discord would add a Pedophile emoji.
I'm playing ball in keeping up with pop culture, but it shouldn't be on me to know who Joel Kinnaman is. That's not fair.
January 21, 2026 at 5:16 PM
I'm playing ball in keeping up with pop culture, but it shouldn't be on me to know who Joel Kinnaman is. That's not fair.
3-D Printed Caltrops: The *Official* Improvised Church Keys of the Minnesota Timberwolves.
January 16, 2026 at 4:02 AM
3-D Printed Caltrops: The *Official* Improvised Church Keys of the Minnesota Timberwolves.
Are there any 1985 B-Girls out there? Where are my B-Girls at?
January 12, 2026 at 4:35 PM
Are there any 1985 B-Girls out there? Where are my B-Girls at?
Selena Gomez's husband looks how Bruce Springsteen should.
January 12, 2026 at 2:42 PM
Selena Gomez's husband looks how Bruce Springsteen should.
If I run into an obvious Grateful Dead fan today, I'm just going to tell him to "keep on trucking" and then pray to God he doesn't ask me what my favorite song of theirs is.
January 11, 2026 at 7:27 PM
If I run into an obvious Grateful Dead fan today, I'm just going to tell him to "keep on trucking" and then pray to God he doesn't ask me what my favorite song of theirs is.
Why is your therapist ignoring all boundaries by asking me to father her children?
January 10, 2026 at 2:15 AM
Why is your therapist ignoring all boundaries by asking me to father her children?
I'm getting Jewish in my old age.
January 9, 2026 at 7:18 PM
I'm getting Jewish in my old age.
They don't tell you that in your late 40s your balls drop so far that if you push them together you could use them to titty-fuck.
January 6, 2026 at 6:28 AM
They don't tell you that in your late 40s your balls drop so far that if you push them together you could use them to titty-fuck.
Happy New Year, Mocha Joe.
January 4, 2026 at 7:06 PM
Happy New Year, Mocha Joe.
When point guards are having a good game running the offense, they are said to be "pissin' dishes."
January 4, 2026 at 12:41 AM
When point guards are having a good game running the offense, they are said to be "pissin' dishes."
As part of my will, I will set up a trust fund that pays bounties for pissing on people's graves. So for instance, if in 2097 a guy could use a quick $200 (in 2026 money), then all he has to do to collect the bounty is show proof of his urinating on Bill Buckner's grave. Other graves too.
January 1, 2026 at 10:05 PM
As part of my will, I will set up a trust fund that pays bounties for pissing on people's graves. So for instance, if in 2097 a guy could use a quick $200 (in 2026 money), then all he has to do to collect the bounty is show proof of his urinating on Bill Buckner's grave. Other graves too.
Going through my late brother's 7th grade yearbook from 1985. This is from Tulsa's largest suburb Broken Arrow.
December 30, 2025 at 1:17 AM
Going through my late brother's 7th grade yearbook from 1985. This is from Tulsa's largest suburb Broken Arrow.
I wish Bari Weiss were more talented.
December 22, 2025 at 6:40 AM
I wish Bari Weiss were more talented.
I would like to have the power to slap one of those Staples Easy Buttons and force all of the world's humans to immediately start walking towards Des Moines.
December 21, 2025 at 10:49 PM
I would like to have the power to slap one of those Staples Easy Buttons and force all of the world's humans to immediately start walking towards Des Moines.
Fuck Space would be a good name for a band or album.
December 21, 2025 at 10:46 PM
Fuck Space would be a good name for a band or album.
I wish to pitch a television doumentary premise where we take 10 billionaires and airdrop them into developing countries with $5 in their pockets and just watch the incredible 12-month process of all of them making their first million dollars.
December 18, 2025 at 1:30 PM
I wish to pitch a television doumentary premise where we take 10 billionaires and airdrop them into developing countries with $5 in their pockets and just watch the incredible 12-month process of all of them making their first million dollars.
Josh O'Connor must fistfight Adam Driver.
December 16, 2025 at 9:07 PM
Josh O'Connor must fistfight Adam Driver.