@andrewcgrant.bsky.social
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New year but same old me, bringing you lots of jokes this January and beyond! If you're in or around Vancouver and want to see me perform, check out one of these shows. If you want to support live comedy but not me, these are the shows to avoid.
My #pronunciation of the vowel in "vague" and "bagel" is weird and I'm blaming Dutch (even though I don't speak it). I was raised in an area with strong Dutch heritage and I think it infected my regional #accent
#linguistics #English #vowels
#linguistics #English #vowels
January 5, 2026 at 9:30 PM
My #pronunciation of the vowel in "vague" and "bagel" is weird and I'm blaming Dutch (even though I don't speak it). I was raised in an area with strong Dutch heritage and I think it infected my regional #accent
#linguistics #English #vowels
#linguistics #English #vowels
I love an #English #accent because it makes everything sound classier. You could insult me and I'd still find it charming.
#joke #standupcomedy #relationship
#joke #standupcomedy #relationship
January 4, 2026 at 7:06 PM
I love an #English #accent because it makes everything sound classier. You could insult me and I'd still find it charming.
#joke #standupcomedy #relationship
#joke #standupcomedy #relationship
It took me a good 3 seconds to even question it. We live in a post-satire world and it's no more absurd than the actual #news
#uspolitics #headlines #economy #government
#uspolitics #headlines #economy #government
January 3, 2026 at 6:58 PM
It took me a good 3 seconds to even question it. We live in a post-satire world and it's no more absurd than the actual #news
#uspolitics #headlines #economy #government
#uspolitics #headlines #economy #government
Reposted
‘Cancel’ comes from a Latin word meaning “to make like a lattice.”
When people needed to annul or void a document, they sometimes would mark it with crosshatches
XXXXX
which resembled a lattice.
So the document became ‘canceled.’
...we hope this post doesn’t get us that.
When people needed to annul or void a document, they sometimes would mark it with crosshatches
XXXXX
which resembled a lattice.
So the document became ‘canceled.’
...we hope this post doesn’t get us that.
January 2, 2026 at 4:18 PM
‘Cancel’ comes from a Latin word meaning “to make like a lattice.”
When people needed to annul or void a document, they sometimes would mark it with crosshatches
XXXXX
which resembled a lattice.
So the document became ‘canceled.’
...we hope this post doesn’t get us that.
When people needed to annul or void a document, they sometimes would mark it with crosshatches
XXXXX
which resembled a lattice.
So the document became ‘canceled.’
...we hope this post doesn’t get us that.
I'd say I took that one in the #chin but apparently mine's not strong enough. At least the #beard kinda acted as padding. They meant it as a #compliment but it ended up more of a #roast
#standupcomedy #jokes
#standupcomedy #jokes
January 2, 2026 at 6:55 PM
I'd say I took that one in the #chin but apparently mine's not strong enough. At least the #beard kinda acted as padding. They meant it as a #compliment but it ended up more of a #roast
#standupcomedy #jokes
#standupcomedy #jokes
What if the outside of the #club looked like the inside but then on inside it looks like the #street ?
There's much pain in the world but not in this room.
#rave #dance #flashinglights
There's much pain in the world but not in this room.
#rave #dance #flashinglights
January 1, 2026 at 7:16 PM
What if the outside of the #club looked like the inside but then on inside it looks like the #street ?
There's much pain in the world but not in this room.
#rave #dance #flashinglights
There's much pain in the world but not in this room.
#rave #dance #flashinglights
So they crossed out "don't #quit " and wrote "do it" meaning I should quit? Way ahead of you. When God sends me a literal #sign , I don't need to be told twice. I just don't know why you'd make that.
#motivation #confused
#motivation #confused
December 31, 2025 at 8:20 PM
So they crossed out "don't #quit " and wrote "do it" meaning I should quit? Way ahead of you. When God sends me a literal #sign , I don't need to be told twice. I just don't know why you'd make that.
#motivation #confused
#motivation #confused
New year but same old me, bringing you lots of jokes this January and beyond! If you're in or around Vancouver and want to see me perform, check out one of these shows. If you want to support live comedy but not me, these are the shows to avoid.
December 30, 2025 at 11:19 PM
New year but same old me, bringing you lots of jokes this January and beyond! If you're in or around Vancouver and want to see me perform, check out one of these shows. If you want to support live comedy but not me, these are the shows to avoid.
The phrasing of a #newyearsresolution can affect whether you accomplish it. But it's less to do with #language and more to do with #psychology
The only woo here is the one you'll let out when you accomplish your #goals
#words
The only woo here is the one you'll let out when you accomplish your #goals
#words
December 30, 2025 at 7:31 PM
The phrasing of a #newyearsresolution can affect whether you accomplish it. But it's less to do with #language and more to do with #psychology
The only woo here is the one you'll let out when you accomplish your #goals
#words
The only woo here is the one you'll let out when you accomplish your #goals
#words
#AuldLangSyne isn't explicitly about #NewYears but it is a thematic fit.
Credited to Robert Burns and popularized by Guy Lombardo but with a much longer history, it's a song about contemplating how our shared past affects our present and future
#language #traditions #Scottish
Credited to Robert Burns and popularized by Guy Lombardo but with a much longer history, it's a song about contemplating how our shared past affects our present and future
#language #traditions #Scottish
December 29, 2025 at 7:30 PM
#AuldLangSyne isn't explicitly about #NewYears but it is a thematic fit.
Credited to Robert Burns and popularized by Guy Lombardo but with a much longer history, it's a song about contemplating how our shared past affects our present and future
#language #traditions #Scottish
Credited to Robert Burns and popularized by Guy Lombardo but with a much longer history, it's a song about contemplating how our shared past affects our present and future
#language #traditions #Scottish
These kids are always inventing new #slang . I just figured out #NetflixAndChill and now this? How am I supposed to keep up?
Also, why the Disney font?
#joke #language #poke
Also, why the Disney font?
#joke #language #poke
December 28, 2025 at 7:46 PM
These kids are always inventing new #slang . I just figured out #NetflixAndChill and now this? How am I supposed to keep up?
Also, why the Disney font?
#joke #language #poke
Also, why the Disney font?
#joke #language #poke
#AI is getting good but it isn't perfect. If it feels weird, it might be a #scam .
The key to protecting yourself and your loved ones is communication... or the opposite of that. You can call it #mommyissues but I call it security.
#joke #standupcomedy
The key to protecting yourself and your loved ones is communication... or the opposite of that. You can call it #mommyissues but I call it security.
#joke #standupcomedy
December 27, 2025 at 8:11 PM
#AI is getting good but it isn't perfect. If it feels weird, it might be a #scam .
The key to protecting yourself and your loved ones is communication... or the opposite of that. You can call it #mommyissues but I call it security.
#joke #standupcomedy
The key to protecting yourself and your loved ones is communication... or the opposite of that. You can call it #mommyissues but I call it security.
#joke #standupcomedy
That's one way to get your #family home for #Christmas but you can only play that card so many times.
It was my #grandma on my dad's side so kind of a win-win from her perspective.
#joke #standupcomedy
It was my #grandma on my dad's side so kind of a win-win from her perspective.
#joke #standupcomedy
December 26, 2025 at 8:07 PM
That's one way to get your #family home for #Christmas but you can only play that card so many times.
It was my #grandma on my dad's side so kind of a win-win from her perspective.
#joke #standupcomedy
It was my #grandma on my dad's side so kind of a win-win from her perspective.
#joke #standupcomedy
No #Christmas #song has truer #lyrics than Little Saint Nick by #TheBeachBoys . Other songs try to tell you how to feel but that one just hits you with the facts. That's why it's a holiday classic.
#joke
#joke
December 25, 2025 at 7:39 PM
No #Christmas #song has truer #lyrics than Little Saint Nick by #TheBeachBoys . Other songs try to tell you how to feel but that one just hits you with the facts. That's why it's a holiday classic.
#joke
#joke
Ding dong! It's a #PanicAttack ! The #Christmas season has enough #stress but Carol of the Bells never fails to give me #anxiety . Well, all Christmas carols do but especially that one. God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen is up there too.
Can any music theorists explain why?
#joke #conspiracytheory
Can any music theorists explain why?
#joke #conspiracytheory
December 24, 2025 at 7:44 PM
Ding dong! It's a #PanicAttack ! The #Christmas season has enough #stress but Carol of the Bells never fails to give me #anxiety . Well, all Christmas carols do but especially that one. God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen is up there too.
Can any music theorists explain why?
#joke #conspiracytheory
Can any music theorists explain why?
#joke #conspiracytheory
#BoxingDay seems like a strange name for a #holiday and the proposed origins look very different from the shopping day much of the Commonwealth knows today. It's so commercial, I'm surprised more Americans don't celebrate it. It's like a post-Christmas Black Friday.
#etymology #Christmas #history
#etymology #Christmas #history
December 23, 2025 at 7:45 PM
#BoxingDay seems like a strange name for a #holiday and the proposed origins look very different from the shopping day much of the Commonwealth knows today. It's so commercial, I'm surprised more Americans don't celebrate it. It's like a post-Christmas Black Friday.
#etymology #Christmas #history
#etymology #Christmas #history
#SantaClaus the #name , like the person, is just St. Nick.
"Santa Claus" is an anglicized version of the Dutch Sinterklaas which is how they referred to Saint Nicholas in the Dutch New Amsterdam colony (now part of Manhattan).
#linguistics #etymology #Christmas #words #language #Dutch
"Santa Claus" is an anglicized version of the Dutch Sinterklaas which is how they referred to Saint Nicholas in the Dutch New Amsterdam colony (now part of Manhattan).
#linguistics #etymology #Christmas #words #language #Dutch
December 22, 2025 at 7:36 PM
#SantaClaus the #name , like the person, is just St. Nick.
"Santa Claus" is an anglicized version of the Dutch Sinterklaas which is how they referred to Saint Nicholas in the Dutch New Amsterdam colony (now part of Manhattan).
#linguistics #etymology #Christmas #words #language #Dutch
"Santa Claus" is an anglicized version of the Dutch Sinterklaas which is how they referred to Saint Nicholas in the Dutch New Amsterdam colony (now part of Manhattan).
#linguistics #etymology #Christmas #words #language #Dutch
I expected more overlap between #metalhead and #lgbt culture given the shared love of #leather and #tattoos
Rob Halford of #JudasPriest was gay when it was still Breaking the Law. He talked about Grinder in the #80s ! This #joke was All Guns Blazing but left me Out in the Cold. I need a Painkiller
Rob Halford of #JudasPriest was gay when it was still Breaking the Law. He talked about Grinder in the #80s ! This #joke was All Guns Blazing but left me Out in the Cold. I need a Painkiller
December 21, 2025 at 8:50 PM
I expected more overlap between #metalhead and #lgbt culture given the shared love of #leather and #tattoos
Rob Halford of #JudasPriest was gay when it was still Breaking the Law. He talked about Grinder in the #80s ! This #joke was All Guns Blazing but left me Out in the Cold. I need a Painkiller
Rob Halford of #JudasPriest was gay when it was still Breaking the Law. He talked about Grinder in the #80s ! This #joke was All Guns Blazing but left me Out in the Cold. I need a Painkiller
Reposted
The ‘deck’ in “Deck the Halls” means “to decorate.”
But, it is not related or a shortening of ‘decorate.’
It comes from the Dutch word meaning “to cover.”
You also use it when you’re all “decked out.”
But, it is not related or a shortening of ‘decorate.’
It comes from the Dutch word meaning “to cover.”
You also use it when you’re all “decked out.”
December 20, 2025 at 5:09 PM
The ‘deck’ in “Deck the Halls” means “to decorate.”
But, it is not related or a shortening of ‘decorate.’
It comes from the Dutch word meaning “to cover.”
You also use it when you’re all “decked out.”
But, it is not related or a shortening of ‘decorate.’
It comes from the Dutch word meaning “to cover.”
You also use it when you’re all “decked out.”
A holiday #Spanish lesson for the #Christmas season
Like and follow para muchos más consejos en español!
#joke #languagelearning #feliznavidad
Like and follow para muchos más consejos en español!
#joke #languagelearning #feliznavidad
December 20, 2025 at 7:31 PM
A holiday #Spanish lesson for the #Christmas season
Like and follow para muchos más consejos en español!
#joke #languagelearning #feliznavidad
Like and follow para muchos más consejos en español!
#joke #languagelearning #feliznavidad
The gentlemen aren't #merry . "God rest ye merry" was a stock phrase meaning "may you be happy and healthy"
And this isn't even the only thing the #ChristmasCarol can teach us about Early Modern #English
I won't subject you to me singing.
#linguistics #Christmas #history #language #words
And this isn't even the only thing the #ChristmasCarol can teach us about Early Modern #English
I won't subject you to me singing.
#linguistics #Christmas #history #language #words
December 19, 2025 at 7:46 PM
The gentlemen aren't #merry . "God rest ye merry" was a stock phrase meaning "may you be happy and healthy"
And this isn't even the only thing the #ChristmasCarol can teach us about Early Modern #English
I won't subject you to me singing.
#linguistics #Christmas #history #language #words
And this isn't even the only thing the #ChristmasCarol can teach us about Early Modern #English
I won't subject you to me singing.
#linguistics #Christmas #history #language #words
Mele Kalikimaka is literally how a #Hawaiian speaker would say #MerryChristmas . It's not that deep but it does give us a fun opportunity to examine the differences between English and Hawaiian #phonetics
#linguistics #language #words #Christmas #bingcrosby #christmassongs
#linguistics #language #words #Christmas #bingcrosby #christmassongs
December 18, 2025 at 7:21 PM
Mele Kalikimaka is literally how a #Hawaiian speaker would say #MerryChristmas . It's not that deep but it does give us a fun opportunity to examine the differences between English and Hawaiian #phonetics
#linguistics #language #words #Christmas #bingcrosby #christmassongs
#linguistics #language #words #Christmas #bingcrosby #christmassongs
#HappyHolidays is not a new secular invention but rather has deeply Christian origins.
Is it more likely that people in the 1860s cared about inclusion or that they wanted an easy way to refer to multiple Christian holidays around #Christmas ?
#linguistics #etymology #Christianity #Advent
Is it more likely that people in the 1860s cared about inclusion or that they wanted an easy way to refer to multiple Christian holidays around #Christmas ?
#linguistics #etymology #Christianity #Advent
December 17, 2025 at 8:04 PM
#HappyHolidays is not a new secular invention but rather has deeply Christian origins.
Is it more likely that people in the 1860s cared about inclusion or that they wanted an easy way to refer to multiple Christian holidays around #Christmas ?
#linguistics #etymology #Christianity #Advent
Is it more likely that people in the 1860s cared about inclusion or that they wanted an easy way to refer to multiple Christian holidays around #Christmas ?
#linguistics #etymology #Christianity #Advent
If you need to escape the family this holiday season, there's still a handful of opportunities left this year and into the next to see me perform stand up comedy.
December 17, 2025 at 2:17 AM
If you need to escape the family this holiday season, there's still a handful of opportunities left this year and into the next to see me perform stand up comedy.
#Jesus #Christ wasn't named Jesus Christ. He was really named Josh.
Jesus is a transliteration of a transliteration. And Christ isn't a name but rather a title.
#linguistics #etymology #Christmas
Jesus is a transliteration of a transliteration. And Christ isn't a name but rather a title.
#linguistics #etymology #Christmas
December 16, 2025 at 7:40 PM
#Jesus #Christ wasn't named Jesus Christ. He was really named Josh.
Jesus is a transliteration of a transliteration. And Christ isn't a name but rather a title.
#linguistics #etymology #Christmas
Jesus is a transliteration of a transliteration. And Christ isn't a name but rather a title.
#linguistics #etymology #Christmas