Bergs
@alexbergmans.bsky.social
ceo at my own boss. member of whatever the opposite of mensa is. coiner of phrase “what if mcdonalds had beer”
if I were a billionaire with his own island I would invite all of the worlds most powerful people to come watch me and my wife have consensual missionary sex
February 14, 2026 at 8:26 PM
if I were a billionaire with his own island I would invite all of the worlds most powerful people to come watch me and my wife have consensual missionary sex
(after remembering that it’s Mark from down the hall’s birthday) Hall Mark ass holiday..
February 14, 2026 at 1:52 PM
(after remembering that it’s Mark from down the hall’s birthday) Hall Mark ass holiday..
the first thing we want AI to do is replace stuff we like such as art and music. Why not focus on it replacing stuff we don’t like first, such as AI and CEOs that talk about AI
February 13, 2026 at 2:01 PM
the first thing we want AI to do is replace stuff we like such as art and music. Why not focus on it replacing stuff we don’t like first, such as AI and CEOs that talk about AI
I love that conservatives made a special halftime show just for idiots. They should do that with more stuff. The Oscars but for Idiots. New Years Rockin Eve but for Idiots. Young Sheldon for Idiots
February 10, 2026 at 4:11 AM
I love that conservatives made a special halftime show just for idiots. They should do that with more stuff. The Oscars but for Idiots. New Years Rockin Eve but for Idiots. Young Sheldon for Idiots
1984 was a documentary
February 9, 2026 at 9:40 PM
1984 was a documentary
the internet is dead lol
February 9, 2026 at 6:51 PM
the internet is dead lol
holy shit. The divorce proceedings that occurred during the Kid Rock alternate halftime show were actually real
February 9, 2026 at 4:08 AM
holy shit. The divorce proceedings that occurred during the Kid Rock alternate halftime show were actually real
Stafford had a great year, but gonna be honest there were several players I think were more deserving of an MVP award than these daughters
February 6, 2026 at 6:53 PM
Stafford had a great year, but gonna be honest there were several players I think were more deserving of an MVP award than these daughters
me and the boys got 400 canisters of Clorox wipes and we’re going sicko mode on the Air BnB’s septic tank
February 6, 2026 at 12:40 AM
me and the boys got 400 canisters of Clorox wipes and we’re going sicko mode on the Air BnB’s septic tank
Thank you TP USA for offering an Uncle Kracker concert as an alternative to my daughter’s dumbass piano recital
February 5, 2026 at 7:31 PM
Thank you TP USA for offering an Uncle Kracker concert as an alternative to my daughter’s dumbass piano recital
being sued into the poorhouse by the Cardboard Box Factory that just fired me because they say I stole the box I used to carry out my belongings
February 5, 2026 at 7:29 PM
being sued into the poorhouse by the Cardboard Box Factory that just fired me because they say I stole the box I used to carry out my belongings
ok everyone please stop asking me about my sinister network of billionaire perverts and please start asking me about my wife’s documentary
February 4, 2026 at 7:29 PM
ok everyone please stop asking me about my sinister network of billionaire perverts and please start asking me about my wife’s documentary
Reposted by Bergs
Oh hell no.. Elmer is losing his shit right now. He is so pissed that Wascally Wabbit is doing the Super Bowl halftime show
September 29, 2025 at 6:44 PM
Oh hell no.. Elmer is losing his shit right now. He is so pissed that Wascally Wabbit is doing the Super Bowl halftime show
(my family surprising me with an intervention for my bath salts habit) something about this feels organized… coordinated by some sort of secret leftist network
January 30, 2026 at 9:11 PM
(my family surprising me with an intervention for my bath salts habit) something about this feels organized… coordinated by some sort of secret leftist network
And the winner for best original screenplay is Darren Aronofsky for “John Wick meets Home Alone kid meets Harry Potter dead eyed faces no coherent plot slow motion everything centered and looks like a credit card commercial ok generate a whole movie go”
January 30, 2026 at 3:17 AM
And the winner for best original screenplay is Darren Aronofsky for “John Wick meets Home Alone kid meets Harry Potter dead eyed faces no coherent plot slow motion everything centered and looks like a credit card commercial ok generate a whole movie go”
(seeing a random nurse record my army of tens of thousands of paid violent agitators on his phone) this guy is a paid agitator
January 25, 2026 at 2:48 PM
(seeing a random nurse record my army of tens of thousands of paid violent agitators on his phone) this guy is a paid agitator
the guys in ICE are actually perfect for a job that involves knocking on everyone’s door because they all had to do that in their neighborhood to tell everyone they’re sex offenders
January 25, 2026 at 12:34 AM
the guys in ICE are actually perfect for a job that involves knocking on everyone’s door because they all had to do that in their neighborhood to tell everyone they’re sex offenders
conservatives rock because for like fifty years they called everything that was labeled "natural" or "organic" gay hippie bullshit, but now they threaten to shoot you in the head if you try to drink milk without Listeria in it
January 21, 2026 at 11:10 PM
conservatives rock because for like fifty years they called everything that was labeled "natural" or "organic" gay hippie bullshit, but now they threaten to shoot you in the head if you try to drink milk without Listeria in it
getting into the men’s body dysmorphia algorithm
January 21, 2026 at 3:46 PM
getting into the men’s body dysmorphia algorithm
The Nobel Prize didn’t give me the award for Not Jacking Off. Well guess what. No more mister nice guy. I’m whacking it like crazy right now. Actions have consequences
January 20, 2026 at 2:24 PM
The Nobel Prize didn’t give me the award for Not Jacking Off. Well guess what. No more mister nice guy. I’m whacking it like crazy right now. Actions have consequences
a violent armed and masked man running into traffic is actually one of the few scenarios where you’re allowed to hit a guy with your car
January 9, 2026 at 4:25 PM
a violent armed and masked man running into traffic is actually one of the few scenarios where you’re allowed to hit a guy with your car
guy who just walks into the middle of traffic and shoots people in the head because he thinks cars are trying to hit him
January 8, 2026 at 12:13 PM
guy who just walks into the middle of traffic and shoots people in the head because he thinks cars are trying to hit him
Before you villainize ICE Agents, remember: they have families. who they beat the shit out of when they come home from work.
January 8, 2026 at 12:28 AM
Before you villainize ICE Agents, remember: they have families. who they beat the shit out of when they come home from work.
I think it speaks to our country truly being the land of opportunity where any inept fuckup too stupid to hold a job can get Deputized as an ICE agent and kill anyone he wants
January 7, 2026 at 10:48 PM
I think it speaks to our country truly being the land of opportunity where any inept fuckup too stupid to hold a job can get Deputized as an ICE agent and kill anyone he wants
don’t think this bodes well for my troupe getting into Caracas Improv Festival..
January 3, 2026 at 7:02 PM
don’t think this bodes well for my troupe getting into Caracas Improv Festival..